Thanks to Jena for this scan of a Keanu-themed crossword puzzle from In Touch mag:

This is almost as cool as when he had his own category on Jeopardy.

Here's the deal. I JUST got broadband internet in December (I know, sad) so for years, if I wanted to watch a trailer or video clip I had to find a way to download it because my connection couldn't handle the stream. Because of that I have various clips scatted all over my hard drive in folders called things like "clips", "stuff2sort", and "misc junk". So I decided to clean up my drive because a) I need the space & b) the old Gateway is probably not long for this world. I decided to start uploading things to YouTube.com because it's free, it makes it easy to share/embed clips and when I looked at what was available when I searched YouTube for 'Keanu', the pickins were pretty slim, and had a lot of parody stuff.

I tossed the Action! clip up there because it was handy to include in the entry, and I wanted to see if the player would work here on the blog. It didn't occur to me to link or publicize the other clips I put up just yet because there was no context. Anyway, I see now that some of the Dogstar clips have gotten some attention on other sites which is fine by me, and I just want to go ahead and link my YouTube profile for anyone that wants to check it out. This morning I added clips from an old (circa Matrix promo) Tonight Show interview that I THINK may have come from Keanu.org, which doesn't seem to be updated any longer so I hope there's no problem, I'm probably going to go ahead and add keanu.org to the description in the clips just in case. Anyway, there are 10 parts, start here. Check my videos for the rest.

*update:I got DMCA'd on the Leno clips, so they're gone from YouTube.
Boo.

I have some other odds and ends that I will put up as well, mostly entertainment show footage and such.

Now, because I am a HIGHLY DISORGANIZED PERSON, I really don't know where most of this crap came from. The only thing I have that I won't be uploading are becky clips that I know Keanuette filmed herself, and I hope that maybe she'll put those up on her profile, which already has the Walk of Fame footage if you haven't seen it yet.

I've also been contacted by some of the other sites about hosting the clips on their site and what I think I'm going to do is toward the end of the month, when I know a few big downloads won't make me exceed my bandwidth, I will put the originals in a protected directory and give the site owners access to download them and put them on their sites. So if anyone feels ownership of any of the clips, they should let me know if they don't want them out there. I realize that some of the sites have the videos in a premium access subscription part of the site and frankly, I understand that it costs bandwidth to serve files this size. However, I also understand that some folks went to the trouble of making these clips for the fans and may have a problem with their work seemingly used for someone else's "profit", which is why I want to give anyone a chance to claim these clips.

Again, I'll repeat that I really can't remember where I got some of this stuff, so if you see a clip in my videos and feel that it's YOURS, I'll happily credit you for making it, or take it down if you're fussy that way.

I'd also like to ask anyone that has clips to think about creating a YouTube profile and sharing what they have. Tag it with 'Keanu' and leave a link in the comments so others can see. Let's create an archive that's not full of stuff that mocks the man, but instead lets others see what we see.

Finally, in the extended entry, I give you my favorite non-Keanu thing EVER found on YouTube....

This song will be stuck in your head FOREVER.

I'm not sure why an article choosing Constantine and the #2 God vs. The Devil films and then proceed to ream it, but it's worth mentioning just for that phrase.

Meanwhile, looks like Keanu has been enjoying some indie music and pancakes recently.

Good for him......and his socks.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I've discovered a new way to stimulate my psychic powers. I simply eat large amounts of wasabi, the bracing horseradish-like paste that's traditionally served with sushi. Its astringent potency seems to crack open an inter-dimensional wormhole in my brain through which news of the future pours in. After meditating on the astrological factors coming to bear on you, I ingested the stuff to give my divinations some extra oomph. Here's what I came up with: You need the equivalent of the wasabi approach right now--some gentle shock, self- administered, that will extend the range of your normal perceptions.

-freewillastrology.com

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In 2006, you will have greatest success if you approach every experience as a student. Your ability to experience happiness will expand if you re-ignite your love of learning and become perpetually ablaze with curiosity. You know that old expression, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear"? I suggest you make yourself ready, because a crucial teacher is or will soon be in your vicinity. Here's another key piece of advice, courtesy of J. Bronowski: "It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot irreverence to their studies; they are not here to worship what is known, but to question it."

-freewillastrology.com

Because you asked for it - and because even with all the changes the year has brought me, I still enjoy making a fool of myself over the internet - I give you.....

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): To convey the dirt simple oracle you need to hear, I'm going to steal a line from the poet William Kulik: "You can't get it because you've already got it." In other words, Virgo, your only hope for enjoying the lovely experience you're wistfully fantasizing about is to register the fact that the lovely experience is available to you right now. It's already yours for the taking.

-freewillastrology.com

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): "There are nine different words in Maya for the color blue, but just three Spanish translations," wrote Earl Shorris in Harper's, "leaving six butterflies that can be seen only by the Maya." This idea suggests two important implications that you should take to heart in the coming weeks. First, the words you use can actually shape your perceptions. Second, as your vocabulary expands, you become aware of aspects of reality that have been hidden from you, and you develop a greater capacity to distinguish between experiences that are superficially alike. Halloween costume suggestion: a butterfly colored nine different shades of blue.

-freewillastrology.com

I have a fabulous friend over at SONY that sent me some Thumbsucker Posters (one-sheets) to give away to the lovely readers of keanuvision.

I have three of them and all you have to do for a chance to have one is send me an email to keanuvisionary (at) gmail.com with the answer to this question IN THE SUBJECT LINE:

What is Dr. Perry's power animal?

The deadline is 9PM PST Sunday (10/16) night. I will have V. draw three names for the winners.

We have our winners! V. had it easy since there were only three correct replies. I'll be in contact with everyone shortly.

By the way, Mike Mills took a cute picture at the Japan press conference and posted it on his blog.

Did anyone else see this?
Last Thursday, during a segment on The Today Show, some health and beauty droid was talking about something or other and was showing some cute little tubes of Japanese flavored toothpastes and piqued my interest when she mentioned that "Keanu Reeves loves the cola flavor so much, he has it imported".

So, of course I had to try it.
It's a very subtle cola flavor, but yummy. It's just what you would expect he would like in a fancy imported toothpaste.

If you'd like to see what Keanu's mouth tastes like just before he leaves the house, you can get it here...

Due to my fascination with the upcoming "Snakes on a Plane" movie, I'd happened across writer Josh Friedman's blog: I Find Your Lack of Faith Disturbing recently, but missed his post about Chain Reaction (he was the original writer). Thanks to amphora for sending me the link.

Which is in no way related (as far as I know) to another guy whose name starts with a Josh and ends with a -man: Keanu's friend and River's Edge co-star, Josh Richman had a nice little stroll on the beach with Keanu in the Hamptons where Robert Downey Jr. got married last weekend. Robert Downey Jr. starred and co-wrote The Last Party with Josh, and he is, of course, Barris to Keanu's Arctor in A Scanner Darkly.

Unfortunately, IMDB lists no joint ventures between Josh Friedman and Robert Downey Jr. (nor his lovely new bride)or this post would have had the most awesomest full-circle finish ever.

Maybe it's not too late for him to join the Snakes on a Plane cast....

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Who did you start out to be, Virgo? It's time to remember that. I urge you to muse about the ways you could benefit from renewing a connection to your origins. Revisit your earliest sources of truth. Think about whether you're still on track to become the person you knew you could be when your vision was still fresh and innocent. Here's a good way to anchor your explorations in concrete reality: Meditate on the scientifically verified fact that with each breath, you re-inhale at least one molecule you first took in during the minutes after you were born.

-freewillastrology.com

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It's actually not the darkest just before the dawn. The time when there is least light is about 2 a.m. Metaphorically speaking, you passed through that dense dimness about ten days ago, and are now muddling through a phase that's equivalent to the hour right before the dawn. It may not be a cheerful romp through fantasyland, but neither will it be a scary tribulation in a dank nightmare. You're almost home free, Virgo. Don't you dare get superstitious on me now.

-freewillastrology.com

According to The Defamer*, Keanu was at a showing of The Aristocrats** on tuesday night in LA.

*I know, I shouldn't [heart] or even link The Defamer***, but I do and I did. So there.

**The front page of the website looks safe enough, but know that this is a movie about a truly obscene "joke" so click around at your own risk (I also [heart] Penn Gillette).

***It's just Bunsen, you know. Rock rock rock.

Of all the films archived in the Backlot, Permanent Record has gotten the most attention. It seems the song sung at the end of the film, Wishing on Another Lucky Star has a special place in the hearts of many people all over the world. Early on in the comments there were requests for a copy of the song and a helpful fan passed along J.D. Souther's version. Then when the film was recently released on DVD, another fan sent me a copy of Jennifer Rubin singing it captured right from the movie. Most recently, another talented fan took the time to work out the chords and share them so fans could pick up their guitars and play the song themselves. For that, to get the mp3's, and to read the comments from fans about it all, go to the PR entry at the Backlot. It's a shame that I've had to close comments at the Backlot due to spammers because it's pretty neat how folks came together around the movie and the song.

Oh, and the title of this entry gives me a nice little segue into mentioning that I'm going to see The Violent Femmes tonight!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The average person throws out 19 pounds of garbage per week. Between now and August 24, however, you have license to exceed that figure by a large margin. In fact, Virgo, the cosmos would love you to carry out a Great Purge. So take full advantage of this opportunity to lighten your load. Get rid of every last scrap of dross and clutter, give away anything that has outlived its usefulness, and unburden yourself of outmoded necessities that have been sitting untouched in a closet or storage unit for more than a year. As much as you possibly can, free yourself of the unnecessary residues of your past.

-freewillastrology.com

I'm sure glad he freed himself from that haircut.

Stop looking at me like that.

Ok, yes. I've been slacking. I swear, I've been busy. Busy, but happy and healthy.

So, along with the fact that Mr. Reeves apparently heard I was swept off my feet by another and has thrown himself at the first beautiful, talented Shakespearean-trained coworker that butted her trailer against his, there's a lot of other stuff to catch up on.

Here's some of it, in no particular order.

• Thumbsucker has an official site and poster. It's scheduled for a limited release on September 16 in NY and LA.
• Warner Brothers actually released both the deluxe and regular edition Constantine DVDs at the same time, instead of playing us for suckers and holding out on the double-disc until Christmas. Thank you. I bought the big one, which I haven't been able to watch because Roi immediately borrowed it.
• I haven't gotten my Bill and Ted box set yet, but I will.
• I bought a PS2 just so I could play Katamari Damacy, which I am now hooked on. I came across this crazy livejournal entry with this "screenshot" from CNN about Keanu playing the prince, but nothing else so I'm pretty sure it's nothing. It may even be a joke. Yeah, it's probably a joke.
• I also got the Constantine game but I can't even get past the first level, I just wander around shooting and wishing that screaming would shut the fuck up.
• My band played Oblivious for a bunch of Keanu fans that met up here in Vegas and I didn't screw up the solo. I continue to get compliments on my tone. I knew that copycatting his rig was A WISE MUSICAL DECISION AND NOT CREEPY AT ALL SO THERE.
• Sometimes I miss Ass Friday (thanks KeanuA-Z.com!)
• Google's homepage thingy rawks, especially if you're a gmail user. (hint: you can add keanuvision's feed in the add content/create a section spot)
• Sandra Bullock married Jesse James in a "hoedown" style wedding. I confess that I picked up a mag at the checkstand (InStyle?) to see what she wore. LOVED the boots. I believe I read that Keanu attended.
• The Stephen Hamel short film: Echo - starring Keanu - played on 7/30 at the Melbourne Film Festival. I'm DYING to know if anyone saw it and what is was like.
• Sinbad has yet to start filming.
• Reeves has made the best of his free time in both New York and England, where he's been supporting the arts of all sorts.
• What can I say? This is some beautiful blasphemy.

Now that I'm not overwhelmed with the backlog, I'll try to stay on top of things. If I owe anyone an email, shoot me another one, I'm bad about that. Sorry.

Big thanks to Nettie & KeanuA-Z, Club-Keanu and KeanuWeb.

Oh, and pour some nice Penfolds Grange Hermitage on the ground for Reeves Drive, which is no more.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Even if you're an intellectual atheist who doesn't believe in mysteries you can't see, I encourage you to make Artemis your ally. The goddess of wild places, she asks you to believe that the best place to rest and recharge is not a luxurious spa where all your needs are attended to, but rather a lush wilderness deep in the middle of nowhere. Artemis loves the animals, and she loves the animal in you. She arouses your instinctual fertility, which may fill you with a kind of longing that awakens your creativity. A fierce nurturer, she feeds your soul by stirring your sense of adventure. She unleashes the wild woman within you, even if you're a man.

-freewillastrology.com

As Hollywood continues to run out of ideas, you can make your own fun in the form of a fantasy film (no, not that kind). It's a little bit like fantasy football, but with movies. Check out FantasyFilmLeague.com where you can add Keanu to your very own casting couch or ImagineCasting.com, where a search for "Keanu" has no results...let's see if we can fix that.

-via monkeyfilter

AFI's 100 greatest movie quotes of all time...

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Sharks have a bad reputation among many people, but to the native people of the Hawaiian island of Niihau they are *na'aumakua,* guardian spirits. I propose that they serve as your tutelary animal in the coming week, Virgo--protectors and guides that will inspire you to be tough-minded and fully at home as you hang out higher in the food chain than you ever have before.

-freewillastrology.com

You may recall my mentioning the kitestramurt film project last year.

It's a film starting two actresses, Nika Politeo and Cleo Dobermann, playing the roles of Keanu and Anthony Kiedis (of Red Hot Chili Peppers and Point Break fame).

Rene, from the kitestramurt page linked above sent me this quote attributed to Keanu, translated from italian VOX mag:

"I was trully amazed when I saw 'Kitestramurt'. Playing me is a hard job, even to myself! But Nika Politeo did a great job, as well as Alessandro Pirico, Cleo Dobermann and Hope DeLount. I think working on 'Kitestramurt' was a huge step in Hope's career. I'm looking forward to work with her next year. It is also a big compliment to be portraited by such a beautiful and talented actress as Nika Politeo, I hope I'm going to meet her this summer as we planned.

I'm not sure what project he's referring to next year, and I can't find a whole lot of info about anyone mentioned (Hope DeLount gets zero results on Google), but I think it's neat that he maybe got a chance to see it. It must be a strange experience seeing someone (not to mention the opposite gender) interpreting you on film.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Of all the world's landlocked countries, only one maintains a navy: Bolivia. Until 1879, it had a seaport, but lost it in a war with Chile. Over a century later, it has thousands of sailors but only a single sea-worthy ship, which it keeps docked in Argentina a thousand miles away. Its quixotic fixity of purpose seems to be a symbolic declaration that it intends to someday once again have land bordering the ocean. I see a certain resemblance between Bolivia and you right now, Virgo. You also cling fiercely to a starry-eyed commitment that might appear unrealistic to casual observers. The difference is that your dream, as opposed to Bolivia's, is not entirely hopeless. You will receive a sign this week that reveals why.

When you dream about Keanu Reeves offering to teach you how to drive a stick and kissing you with a mouthful of tapioca in front of a nighttime parade of little girls dressed in tulle carrying fishing poles strung with mardi-gras beads and singing a song about Kwaanza, it must be a sign that you're neglecting your blog.

Or something.

So.....there's an article in UK's april Hello magazine that has some nice quoteables including this bit of swoonery:

"I'm not a loner and I'm not introverted. What do I find romantic? Hmm. The thing that comes to me right now is it's so lovely to spend time in the morning with someone in bed when you just kind of like play with your feet, you're hanging out and you look at each other and spend time talking and laughing in bed... Yeah. That's a great time."

Also the beginning part with the crumbs is adorable.

There's a scene in the original Il Mare that has the male lead doing some beautiful artful food prep alone in the house. When I saw it I thought about how wonderful it will be to watch Keanu do the scene.

I thought of it when I read in the article where he talks about his lack of expertise in the kitchen:

"What's great about the house is I have a great kitchen. Friends say they love to cook there. They cook. I clean. We eat. We drink a little Bordeaux. It's great."

...and the fact that this boy just keeps getting finer and finer.

Having cheated the first one, I've decided to be a responsible citizen and handle the second a whole week early (which in turn leaves one able to relax and enjoy the third). Helpful tip for those of you still thinking "damn I've got to do my taxes still....ahhh, I'll do it this weekend." - There are some good resources found here, especially the link to TurboTax which you can use to do your taxes, including e-filing your federal returns for free.

In other news, I'm doing better and will be going back to to see my doctor next week for my followup. Also, V gave me his old laptop so I can recline and be online at the same time (oooh! I made a rhyme..oh! again!) so I promise to answer more email and try and get back to blogging more regular too. I know there's a lot to catch up on, including the fact that Reeves seems to be eating his way through the greater Chicago area.

Also?
Yum.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): When's the last time you really gave yourself permission to watch a sunrise or sunset for more than a few seconds? I bet this activity has fallen so far off your list of things to do that if left to your own devices you may not treat yourself to it for months. That's just one reason I feel called to do an intervention. The other reason has to do with your current astrological omens. They say that you desperately need to be lifted up out of the everyday trance and exposed to sublime beauty; that you need to commune with our home star, the source of all the energy that fuels your life.

-freewillastrology.com

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): To be in maximum alignment with the cosmic trends, go to the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam and commune with the painting "Peach Tree in Blossom" while sipping peach blossom wine and thinking deep thoughts about the parts of you that are like peach blossoms. Here's another possibility: Travel to a place where actual peach blossoms are blooming and meditate on why the Chinese consider this flower the most auspicious of plants. If you can't manage either of those actions, Virgo, please at least find images of peach blossoms on the Internet and gaze at them as you muse fondly of the delicate young aspects of your life that most need your love and care.

-freewillastrology

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): "People change and forget to tell each other," mourned playwright Lillian Hellman. I bring this thought to your attention, Virgo, because at least one of your relationships now fits this description. It's at a pivotal point when the accumulated changes you have both undergone can no longer remain unspoken. To avoid becoming irrelevant to each other, you must communicate the backlog of truth now. (P.S. I suspect there are actually two relationships like this.)

-freewillastrology.com

I just got back this morning and have a ton of things to catch up on.

Apparently I not only missed the Letterman show, but Regis too?

dammit

I'm off with V. to LA to catch tonight's Constantine screening at the Egyptian Theater, thanks to the lovely Wanda for inviting us!

Keanu presented at tonight's BAFTA Awards in London.

From Empire Online:

"...as well received as all the guests were, no one quite managed the welcome extended to Keanu Reeves. Taking a leaf out of Johnny Depp’s book, Reeves was last to set foot on the carpet and topped all others with sheer ‘Aiiiieee’ factor. Women wailed, men gazed enviously and, unless Empire was imagining things, more than one pair of pants might have been hurled in his general direction. Keanu takes all such things in his stride, however and breezed across the carpet like a superhuman amid mere computer programs. "It's a bit surreal" was as much of a comment as the supercool star of the upcoming Constantine was prepared to make.

After signing more than his fair share of autographs, kissing fans and probably curing the lame, Saint Keanu waved to the crowd and entered the Odeon Leicester Square, allowing proceedings to get underway."

...and sent us a great report and pictures!

"My little report about Keanus short visit here in Berlin, Germany:

Keanu was late. The earlier festival-schedule said press conference for 'Thumbsucker' should've been today at 10:00 o'clock and the movie during the contest should've be shown at 16:00, but they changed it into 'Thumbsucker' on screen at 16:00 and press conference later this evening at 20:00 o'clock. As I mentioned in Netties forum yesterday morning, you can view the stream of the press conference on www.berlinale.de . You can toggle there into the english version of the homepage, look out for 'video stream'. They said, they will keep it online for some days. Hopefully there is no translation version on the english part of the side. The translation makes it so difficult listening to the questions and answers, while the stream is buffering!

Okay, it was my very first time I saw Keanu in real life. It was my very first time right there beside the red carpet and so my first time with my new DSLR-Camera, and the very first time I took some paparazzi-shots. And so they look like! Pardon me, Keanu!

Nevertheless, I had a fine place. Right in front of the theatre (okay we all know about those huge distances), second row. But it wasn't so overcrowed as I thought it would be maybe. Most Fans were pretty young. Some fans had cute and creative banners with them, some fans were unbelievable loud. I never ever will get the screaming thing!

Keanu went out the car that drove in front of the cinema's entry of course. Before he showed up, all the other actors, producers and the director of course moved into the scenery. And after Keanu all the jury members showed up, f.e. Roland Emmerich, Franka Potente (Lola's Running, The Bourne Idendity) and the beautiful, funny and funky Bai Ling. Keanu said 'Guten Tag' to the festivals leader Dieter Kosslik – who ist one of the nicest persons in the world's film business ever, I am so sure of! Love this man! So they talked a while on the carpet.

After this Keanu spoke with all those TV-Teams and was shown meanwhile on the screen. Pictures of the whole film team from the professionals where taken. So business as usual. And while Keanu gave handsigns to all those screaming fans, like 'relax, I hear you, I will come to you later' it looked it bit like the organisators wanted to push him into the cinema. But Keanu came back (good boy) and was jumping, moving, running (how can I describe his moves?) all over the place and gave autographs and made his fans happy. He was a bit like someone who spent to much time in airplanes the last time and don't wanted to be seated again for the next two hours! *lol* Poor Keanu! Those
premiers-plus-festival-trips must be pure horror! Sh.. I am so sorry, I can't digitalize all the tv-stuff they showed while he was cruising around (I don't think his matrix moves were done by CGI, no way!)!
*lol*

Okay, he didn't made it to my spot, but I had a good position because his car stood pretty close in front of me when he moved out on the left side of the car! I was honoured.

I took a lot of pictures. But unfortunately the 80 - 200 zoom-objective I bit on ebay in the beginning of this week didn't made it to me in time. (I am sure, it will come tomorrow so that I can cough loud and clearly because of the pix that I've had missed today! ;-) ) - so only my 18-55 zoom could (or could not ;-) ) made it over the distance. Hm, and I guess after all, yes I should have taken the flash sometimes. As I said before, the cam is new and I am new in the SLR-buiz! ;-)

I've choosen those pix where he was sprinting around, so they're not the sharpest ones – but they'll give you all a good impression of how alive he was there!

They went into the cinema, the last picture was taken on the screen while he spoke to someone in there. Then I left the scenery. I had no tickets for the movie and didn't wanted to wait outside until it's finished and the press conference...

...oh, and sorry girls: but no! I don't think he is sooooo tall as you all mentioned before. I'm 1,80 m on my own – so of course he's almost taller than every other little actor but he is normal! That's by the way how I would describe him: normal. A nice guy.

At home I spoted the news on TV. Good news: Keanu never was a thumbsucker (that's what he said, his mother may have just an another opinion about this point ;-) ). Talking about the movie: the editorial stuff plus some viewers they interviewed after the movie, didn't liked 'Thumbsucker' too much. One viewer said, 'Keanu Reeves played in this movie - and that's it!' Another TV-channel noticed the applause was fair but not ethusiastic. Sorry, but it's an old traditional film festival. I didn't hear any statements from one person from the jury so
far. Although I am not sure they're not allowed to say anything.

The press conference (remember usually it is before the film preview and not after, because of Keanu's delay.) So this was special. And the reporters (very international, germany, greece, france, kanada, usa, uk etc.) asked several questions – but not only to Keanu as usual. It was really well done. The young actor who plays the 'Thumbsucker' is a cute one. He really got my heart after his presence there! Keanu told us that his nickname as a child was 'Kiki' and answered to the question 'If he likes to go to the dentist?' a little bit sarcastically: 'Yes, I like it very much. It's awesome, especially the feeling while they're doing the injection. They're doing all a great job.'
Yeah, Keanu, we feel all the same way, too. (That reminds me of the fact, that my next visit should be in next future again...)

Oh, and they asked him, if he speaks german (cough, it's the same stupid thing like this 'have you ever been in germany before? do you like it? can you imagine doing a movie here?' blabla, questions no one really need) and if yes, how good?

Mr. Reeves recited:
'Morgen, morgen, nur nicht heute, sagen alle faulen Leute!'

(Quotation from Christian Felix Weisse)

Ähem, he did it really good. Nearly accent free! The crowd went amused wild! He wasn't bad, holy fruit salad. Okay, two lines and nine words... but I owe him a beer or whatever! ;-)

They asked a lot questions more, I wrote them down but I hope I will catch tomorrow morning a higher quality version of the press conference on my tv screen and will post it if so.

What I noticed from short scenes after the movie preview on stage and even while the press conference – it seems like it's a team there who likes each other and who seems not to seperated after the was movie was finshed. It's not like you have the feeling they're so close that they will have tea together every sunday evening, but it was something special. It seems like this movie gave everyone something, the younger actor while growing up and the older actors while growing up, too.
Just my two pence.

Okay, Keanu it was nice to have/had you hear. A bit too short from my little point of view. I don't understand how someone can stay less than 24 hours here, but maybe we will have you back next year as a talented jury member – you're old enough for this meanwhile! ;-)

And ladies, please excuse my english -
love,
creezy"

Plus she sends these links as well:

-Video from the red carpet
-Photos
-Another clip - "Go to ZDFmediathek (navigation on the left side) - there are two clip
from him, the first one's shows him at the beginning and the rest is
about the festival. But scroll down to the second clip, this one is
perfect..."

Thanks so much to Creezy!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Happy Valentine Daze, Virgo! If you're like me, many of the most accomplished people you've known have the same blind spot: their intimate relationships. As brilliant as they may be as artists, scientists, fund-raisers, or humanitarians, they're dumb about how to carry on a thriving marriage or loving partnership. Their plight is typical of the rest of us as well. Though we may have mastered countless skills, we're likely to be relatively unripe in our ability to achieve closeness with another human being. That's the bad news, Virgo. The good news is that this Valentine season and the ensuing six weeks will be an excellent time for you to take dramatic steps to cure your own version of this ignorance.

-freewillastrology.com

I found this yummy bit of congratulatory gorgeousness over at Nudel's.

Sigh.

Also, she has an adorable ad taken out by Sandy Bullock as well.

Also, if you haven't already seen it, Keanuette has a transcript of Keanu's Walk-of-Fame speech (and a clip to come). Quite charming and moving as well.

LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) -- Actor Keanu Reeves fans know that he has often moonlighted as a rock star with bands like Dogstar and Becky.

But, at a press conference for "Constantine," the actor says his band days are pretty much over.

"I played with them for about a year," Reeves says about the band called Becky. "But they wanted to get some record deals and go on tour and I can't do that, so I bowed out."

Reeves, who used to sing and play bass guitar for the much-maligned Dogstar, says that band isn't touring anymore. When the press corps said, "ahh" in response, he sarcastically said, "Right, thanks."

Reeves says he didn't get to play on the set of "Constantine" with singer and Bush guitarist Gavin Rossdale (who plays his nemesis in the film noir supernatural thriller). "He was working on his album then that I believe that he's almost finished," Reeves says. "We spoke a little bit about that."

"Constantine" opens in theaters nationwide on Friday, Feb. 18.

This depresses me a little bit. I just can't imagine never having the chance again to watch him rock that bass.

According to the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce website, Keanu is scheduled to get a star on the famous Walk-of-Fame this Monday, January 31st at 11:30 am.

The location of the star will be at 6801 Hollywood Blvd, in front of the Kodak Theater.

I so wish I could take Monday off!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Michigan is a major importer of trash, accepting more than five million tons per year in return for big payments. A landfill in the small town of Rockwood alone takes in a thousand tons of New Jersey's demolition debris every day. I know it might be tempting for you to get all Rockwood-like in the coming days, Virgo; you may imagine you can reap some long-lasting benefits from getting dumped on. But I say unto you: It ain't worth it. Whatever you think you can gain is meager compared to what you could lose.

-from freewillastrology.com

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Eminem recently received a tribute from the Raelians, a UFO cult that preaches nonviolence. They bestowed the title of "honorary priest" on the hip-hop star for his anti-war video, "Mosh." Was he proud and pleased? I doubt it, though he and his camp had no comment. I imagine you'll soon be getting a similarly meaningless "reward" or unwanted recognition for your good work, Virgo. Don't get mad about it. Don't let it stir up your old fear that you will never get the understanding and appreciation you deserve. Instead, have faith that what I'm about to predict will come to pass: It may take a while, but you will eventually receive a truly gratifying payoff for your recent breakthrough.

-freewillastrology.com

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The wife of lottery winner Jack Whittaker bemoans the day he struck it rich. Since collecting $113 million in 2002, he has been in trouble with the law constantly, and has wasted a lot of time gambling and hanging out at strip clubs. "I wish I would have torn the lottery ticket up," says Jewel Whittaker. Let's hope you handle your growing solvency with more aplomb, Virgo. My guess is that although you're not going to win the lottery this year, your luck and hard work will conspire to raise your disposable income. Don't let it make you too crazy.

-freewillastrology.com

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The Nike swoosh is a trademark symbol that has been imprinted on the subconscious minds of hordes of consumers, helping the company suck hundreds of millions of dollars into its coffers. A college student created it in 1971, charging Nike a mere $35. I think you may be in a somewhat comparable position, Virgo: on the verge of generating an idea or service or product that will ultimately yield bigger results and have greater value than you can imagine right now. Don't underestimate it; refuse to sell yourself short.

-freewillastrology.com

I don't even know where to begin looking back on 2004. It's all some sort of bass-playing, red-bull-guzzling, road-tripping, comic-boy-arguing, smooches-for-everyone haze.

I love you all.

See you next year.

With only your day of birth, colorstrology.com gives you the perfect Pantone™ color to match. Keanu's is 17-3817, more beautifully named "Daybreak" and means he's supportive, inspired and generous. Which actually sounds about right.

Frankly, it's a damn clever way to sell paint.

Me? I'm "Hibiscus". And sparkly.

Here's hoping everyone has a lovely holiday.

*smoooch*

Found via Catz, this gorgeous portrait of Keanu is by Pat McMichael and can been seen in its full glory at deviantart.com.

And now, here's Brezsny with a little literature with your fine art...

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Marilynne Robinson published her first novel, Housekeeping, in 1982. It was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, and an influential critic called it one of the ten best novels of the twentieth century. This November, 22 years later, Robinson came out with her second work of fiction, Gilead. "Writing is like praying," she told Carin Besser in The New Yorker Online. "In both, if they are to be authentic, grace and truth must discipline thought." I nominate Robinson to be your patron saint in 2005, Virgo. May she inspire you to produce another gem like the one you did some years ago. May her example give you the faith to work as slowly as you need to in order to remain impeccable, allowing grace and truth to discipline your thought.

-freewillastrology.com

Ahhhh, Tradition.

Remember, you can sing along if you'd like...

We Keanuphiles already have embraced the "dude" in more ways than one. The word is such a part of our lexicon, I never give it a second thought when I use it. Of course, I also use the term "rad" in a non-ironic way sometimes, too.

Much to Roi's dismay.

Anyway, "dude" is more than just slang, more than a referential, more than a term of endearment (or lack thereof).

Dude is an attitude.

Dude is a way of life

JSONLINE/ (AP) -- Dude, you've got to read this. A linguist from the University of Pittsburgh has published a scholarly paper deconstructing and deciphering the word "dude," contending it is much more than a catchall for lazy, inarticulate surfers, skaters, slackers and teenagers.

An admitted dude-user during his college years, Scott Kiesling said the four-letter word has many uses: in greetings ("What's up, dude?"); as an exclamation ("Whoa, Dude!"); commiseration ("Dude, I'm so sorry."); to one-up someone ("That's so lame, dude."); as well as agreement, surprise and disgust ("Dude.").

The link to the paper (which cites the most excellent billandted.org as a reference)is really interesting and includes all kinds of interesting "dude" data, including a huge spreadsheet listing the sujects, the addressees and the actual "utterances. I think my favorite is:

And delving further into the subject, here's a NY Observer story that rightfully includes Bill and Ted as "Demigods of Dude".

-via Metafilter

Not only is Keanu hot, but he's also cool, beloved and apparently fecking loaded.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don't fight the inevitable. Don't resist it and bitch about it and curse it. On the other hand, don't just lie down and let it roll on over you, relinquishing your will and losing your spunk. Instead, Virgo, have fun with the inevitable. Tease it and question it. Influence it through the ingenuity of your playfulness. Develop a relationship with it that allows you to be true to yourself even as you learn to love it.

-freewillastrology.com

Speaking of our spunky Virgo boy, Tabitha has the second part of Keanu's chart up.

...I could have happily gone my entire fandom without coming across this.

"Dear Universe,

Thank you for all the happiness you have brought me this past year. For the friendships and experiences that I will cherish and remember always. Thank you for giving me such Inspiration in so many forms, especially the one that comes in the form of Keanu Reeves. Thank you for my health, and that of my family and friends and pets. Thank you for the love in my life and of my life."

...krix

I hope everyone has a lovely day, and Happy Thanksgiving to those that celebrate it.

Hee! I'm such a bassplayer...I'm going to my drummer's for dinner.

Rock on, everyone.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the film Catch Me If You Can, a character played by Christopher Walken tells a story that illustrates persistence under duress. "Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream," he begins. "The first mouse gave up and drowned. The second mouse wouldn't quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out." I urge you to make that second mouse your role model in the coming days, Virgo. Can you summon that much courage, stamina, and strength of will? The astrological omens say you can.

-freewillastrology.com

Tabitha has done Keanu's Natal chart.

From the page: "I don’t have Mr. Reeves’ actual time of birth, so I ran a chart with his Sun on the Ascendant (called a solar chart). For that reason, I will not be including an interpretation of house positions."

It's a very well written interpretation and shows both her knowledge of the art and her love for the subject.

Virgo is the sixth sign of the zodiac and is an Earth sign ruled by the planet Mercury. Virgos are known for being practical, down-to-earth, perfectionist, critical, and helpful. They are flexible and good organizers, and seem to be more interested in doing the best job possible than applause or personal acclaim for its own sake. This makes them humble and self-effacing at times. Since they are ruled by Mercury, Virgos like to talk, but don’t favor idle conversation. They can even be considered shy. Virgos are greatly interested in health and hygiene and are known for preferring to keep clean. Virgos have natural healing abilities which make them great friends and sounding-boards for those they care about. They are good listeners and counselors of the first water, offering the distressed well-considered and practical advice. Virgos also make superbly loyal friends; once you earn his trust, he is your friend indefinitely.

There is an appealing vulnerability about a Virgo, even when he is protesting to the contrary. That springs from the symbolism of the virgin. This does not always refer to the sexual connotation of virginity; this is a deeper sense…a purity of spirit, and an innocence that remains through life, no matter what has happened to him. This inner sense of purity often leads the Virgo to seek the same in his surroundings, giving them the reputation for being obsessed with neatness. Coupled with this purity is an earthy sensuality that manifests itself in a preference for natural fabrics and fibers, a green thumb and a gift for growing things. This earthiness makes the Virgo enjoy being outdoors as nature soothes his often-frazzled nerves and puts him at peace.

Go here to read the whole thing. Thanks to Tabitha for letting me share it here.

(The background on the page makes it difficult to read on some monitors (I had no trouble at home but could barely read it at work) so here is a text file of the information, with Tabitha's permission.)

Along with the usual playing dress-up [note to self: must shop. cat ears from Walgreens does not a costume make!] and general trick-or-treatery, I think I'm going to watch The Watcher sometime this weekend. Yeah, it's bad, but Keanu's performance is deliciously creepy. So menacing, yet sooooo sexy, eeeeee!

And thanks to the magic of The Wayback Machine at Archive.org, I was able to unearth the much-missed Keanuland.com's Watcher Drinking Game!

Take one drink:

• You spot any geographical blooper.
  
• You spot any blooper.
  
• Whenever there is a murder.
  
• During any shaky grainy footage.

Take two drinks:

• You see Marissa Tomei.
  
• Joel Campbell pops his pills.

Chug down your drink:

• David Allen Griffin performs the devil bunny dance.

We love the devil bunny dance.

Happy Halloween and have a great weekend, everyone!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Nothing could give you more power over your fears than a Halloween devoted to impersonating your fears. That's why I suggest you get yourself a costume that will let you pretend to be what you're most afraid of. If a nuclear explosion is your greatest bugaboo, dress up as a mushroom cloud. If your boss is the source of your most primal dread, become him or her for a couple of days. If you're terrified of being exposed as a fraud or descending into poverty or losing your good looks, dive into the heart of that scary experience.

Hee! You can get anything in a swedish Slovakian supermarket it seems. Thanks to Vika for sending in this advert.

That look? Melts me.

So, I think I've fried the nice Ampeg combo bass amp that Dave lets me use. It peaks out WAY too often and I'm certainly not that ferocious of a player. I don't know what the problem is, but I do know that it's a big source of stress for me to have my sound cut in and out in the middle of a song. Thankfully this hasn't happened live yet, but I fear it will as the problem gets worse with every practice.

It's about time I get my own rig anyway.

You know where this is going, right?

I want the Reeves package (shut up, I'm talking about his amp).

Musician's Friend just extended me enough credit to get a GK 800RB and a SWR Workingman 4x10T.

Should I do it? I know it's a little nutty, but I would be actually using it, not making it part of some weird Keanu-shrine in my basement or anything. And the bottom line is, I kind of trust his judgement on something like this. He could afford any setup he wanted and this is what he went with. I would choose a wine based on his expertise in a second, so why not defer to his many years experience as a bassist?

I'm definitely buying a new amp. We have a gig on the 5th. Tell me I'm not a kook for thinking about buying this one.

SomethingAwful.com asks: "What happens when you strip away a movie's title and replace it with a literal description of what its movie poster looks like?"

The answers are found in their Photoshop Phriday results.

Part 1
Part 2

Some of these are hilarious. Many are...um, mature themed, so consider this a 'not safe for work' warning. There's some quality skill there as well, matching lettering and styles perfectly. After browsing through all of them, I realized there was no Keanu content so I did my own.

Snerk.

Have a great weekend, everyone.

A couple of things are getting annoying when it comes to the blogging.

One is that I'm coming up on nearly two-thousand freaking entries and frankly, the clever-title well runs a little dry some days. So rather than wrack my brain, you'll be getting random lyrics from time to time. I'll try and make them tangentially relevant somehow, but no promises. Especially before I've had my morning redbull. Of course, there's always bonus secret cool points for knowing the song.

The other thing, of course, is that it's such a slow time for news. Google and Yahoo alerts have so much noise to signal I can't stand it. The ferret thing was cute, but for the most part, it's a stretch. Every weekday, I faithfully check the script sales website to see if he's got a new project announced. Or maybe an update on an old one.

I think this feeling is what the word "bupkiss" was invented for.

There certainly are some interesting films being pitched out there, though.
I'm interested to hear about the Edie Sedgwick film (wasn't Molly Ringwald going to do her bio? did that ever happen?). The Untitled Miniature Golf flick? Not so much.

Good grief. "A-Team", "Dallas" AND "Miami Vice" movies. They really are running out of ideas in Hollywood.

There are a few ideas up there that I could certainly picture Keanu in, just for fun. I'd like to see him in another comedy, although "Hip Hop Nanny" is probably not a good match. I guess I'll keep holding out for "Bill and Ted III".

I hope Keanu is enjoying this break. He certainly deserves it after his non-stop schedule for the past several years.

So the thing to do is make the most of it, I guess. I've actually gotten a lot done in this free time. Bassplaying, shredding, laundry. The fun never ends.

Go me. I even managed to not only vote early this year, but I took some time on a couple afternoons to read up on the candidates and issues before I did it. The internets make it really easy to do that you know.*wink*

Anyway, I might be a little off-topic more often these days, but if you keep reading, I'll keep blogging.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The astrological omens are pretty odd right now. They seem to be suggesting that your luck will be good and you'll be in maximum alignment with the cosmic rhythms if you watch a lot of daytime TV, eat heaps of junk food, get no more than four hours of sleep a night, and argue with yourself loudly in public. Just kidding, Virgo. I was merely testing to see whether you've become overly gullible towards so-called authorities like me. The truth is that you should free yourself from influences that presume to tell you what to do. Get their voices completely out of your head so you can clearly hear the still, small voice of your fiercely tender intuition.

-freewillastrology.com

News-Medical.net has an interesting article about a study that involves 12 ferrets watching The Matrix. Hee!

Weliky, in a bit of irony, set 12 ferrets watching the reality-stretching film The Matrix. He recorded how their brains responded to the film, as well as to a null pattern like enlarged television static, and a darkened room. Movies capture the visual elements that are present in the real world. For instance, as Keanu’s hand moves across the screen for a karate chop, the image of the hand and all the lines and color it represents moves across a viewer’s visual realm essentially the same way it would in real life. By contrast, the enlarged static—blocks of random black and white—has no such motion. Weliky was able to graph the movie-motion statistically, showing essentially how objects move in the visual field.

The article goes on to decribe two suprising discoveries made by the researchers about how young and adult brains process visual stimuli differently. It's very interesting.

Of course, there's no mention of the third and most important breakthrough...

Ferrets love Keanu!

I guess that explains some of the less coherent comments we get here from time to time.

The new humanity will be universal,
And it will have the artist's attitude, that of the musician;
That is, it will recognize that the immense
value and beauty of the human being
lies precisely in the fact that each individual belongs
To two realms, simultaneously,
that of nature and that of the spirit.

--Thomas Mann

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The British are not renowned for their fine cuisine. In any ranking of the world's culinary traditions, theirs would be near the bottom. And yet the Brits are responsible for having created and propagated the Western world's single most popular food, the sandwich. In a comparable way, Virgo, I predict that you will soon succeed in an area where you have little credibility or status. Either that, or you will produce some anomalously great thing that you supposedly have no talent for.

-thanks to freewillastrology.com.

The finger, known variously as the one-finger salute, the highway salute, flipping (someone) off, flipping the bird or the Trudeau salute (in Canada). It is a hand gesture made by extending the middle finger of the hand while bending the other fingers at the second knuckle. It has an offensive meaning in some cultures, comparable to "fuck you".

The origins of this gesture is highly speculative. It is identified as the "impudent finger" in Ancient Roman writings. It was defined there as a gesture intended to insult another. It has been noted that the gesture resembles an erect penis. Ancient Romans considered an image of an erect phallus as a talisman against evil spells. As a consequence, displaying this gesture to another may not have been a pseudo-sexual insult but rather a insulting statement along the lines of – "I'm going to protect myself against your witchcraft, before you even start."

The "one-finger salute," or at any rate sexual gestures involving the middle finger, are thousands of years old. In Gestures: Their Origins and Distribution, Desmond Morris and colleagues note that the digitus infamis or digitus impudicus (infamous or indecent finger) is mentioned several times in the literature of ancient Rome. Turning to our vast classical library, we quickly turn up three references. Two are from the epigrammatist Martial: "Laugh loudly, Sextillus, when someone calls you a queen and put your middle finger out."

In the other reference Martial writes that a certain party "points a finger, an indecent one, at" some other people. The historian Suetonius, writing about Augustus Caesar, says the emperor "expelled [the entertainer] Pylades . . . because when a spectator started to hiss, he called the attention of the whole audience to him with an obscene movement of his middle finger." Morris also claims that the mad emperor Caligula, as an insult, would extend his middle finger for supplicants to kiss.

It's not known whether one displayed the digitus infamis in the same manner that we (well, you) flip the bird today. In another of his books Morris describes a variety of sexual insults involving the middle finger, such as the "middle-finger down prod," the "middle-finger erect," etc., all of which are different from the classic middle-finger jerk.

The widely held claim that the 'middle finger salute' is derived from the defiant gestures of English archers whose fingers had been severed by the French at the Battle of Agincourt is most likely a myth.

See also: The V-sign & The Shocker.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): "In countries where large percentages of the population believe in hell, there seems to be less corruption and a higher standard of living," concluded a study by the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis. My translation: Many people are motivated to do the right thing out of primal dread. I bring this up, Virgo, because it is critical for you to wean yourself of any attraction you might have to letting fear serve as a central motivator. I'm happy to report that in the coming months, you will have an unprecedented opportunity to retrain yourself to do just that. By September 2005, your quest for success and goodness could very well be inspired primarily by your love of life.

-freewillastrology.com

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): "I am one of those who never knows the direction of my journey until I have almost arrived," wrote author Anna Louise Strong. Right about now, Virgo, you could probably speak those same words with sincerity. For months you've felt as if an invisible force were shepherding you towards an unseen goal. You've trusted the process because it resonated with a gut feeling that kept telling you "YES!" And now, finally, you're about to come to the end of the quest and collect your reward. Keep in mind, though, that even after you have it, you may not fully understand it for months.

-freewillastrology.com

I watched Richard Linklater's Slacker last night. I was sure that I'd never seen it, but there was such a familiarity with it all that now I think maybe I have. Maybe I've just known too many slackers throughout my life (surely I was one for many years, maybe I still am) that it was all kind of deja vu. While watching some of the scenes play out there was a feeling like "I know this guy.........and he still owes me money..."

Linklater himself acts in the film and has a great monologue in the opening scene that talks about dreams and alternate realities and there's a lot Gen-X talky "philosophy" throughout the film. After seeing both Slacker and Waking Life and thinking about the certain parts of PKD's book - the various conversations of Arctor/Barris/Luckman: heavy, absurd, endless ones, sometimes about nothing - it really seems like Linklater was the perfect choice to make A Scanner Darkly. It's like the obvious future of the slackers and the dreamers.

Possibly.

One of many different realities depending on the direction of their journey and whether they stayed on the bus or not.

One day I'd really like to thank Keanu for being the inspiration for me to take up the bass, ideally as we pass each other backstage.

Last night's Vibemerchants show was great fun. Thanks to Wanda for coming out.

Here's what happens when I'm bored and done huffing permanent markers left to make my own fun on a Friday afternoon.

Behold, The Rasterbator.

The Rasterbator allows you to upload and enlarge an image and then spits out a spiffy printable PDF file that you can piece together for a wall-sized, ceiling-sized or even larger final image.

You can only guess where this is going, right?

First I figured out what would make a good rasterbatory material.

Why, my Fierce leatherboy sidebar mascot of course!

I decided to size the image to fill 3 pages across by 7 pages high (US letter size 8.5"x11"). I could have sized it a bit smaller because the final result uses less than 50% of the third row but I kind of wanted it *cough* actual size. Looking at the detail of the page it's hard to tell how it will come out. Luckily, I have a serious B&W hardcore printer at the office so I decided go ahead and print this baby out (click to see the result and my ugly office carpet).

A quick trip to my brother's art studio to use the nice straight-edge cutter and some careful tape work and *whee*...lifesize Keanu. Now I just have to decide where to put him.

Of course just like they warned you in Sunday School, once you start rasterbating, you can't stop.

Here's a screenshot of my second project. The highlighted lippy part is shown in the detail below.

I wanted to be sure to get some good details so I made this one 8 pages high by 8 wide. It was only after I downloaded it that I realized that this is going to produce a rasterbation over 7 feet high. Pretty much floor to ceiling. Zoiks.

I haven't actually printed this one out yet.

So if you're not doing anything this weekend and have plenty of ink (or you can burn the files to a disc and take it to Kinko's, black and white shouldn't cost too much) why not indulge in a little toner abuse?

Clicking on the detail pics above will download the PDF's I made or you can make your own.

Check out the gallery for ideas and a look at how different page counts will turn out and if you go here, there are some good tips as well.

Happy Rasterbating! I promise you won't go blind!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It's sowing time, Virgo. Seeds you plant in the coming days will grow into the crop you will ultimately harvest in July, 2005. If you think big, those seeds will also figure prominently in blooms that won't fully ripen until the latter part of 2015 and the first nine months of 2016. I suppose it's possible you'll get freaked out by the pressure, and pretend you don't have the awesome power I'm telling you that you have. In that case, you'll distract yourself with a thousand and one trivial concerns and let blind fate do the seed-planting for you. But I don't recommend that approach. I'd love for you to get excited as you contemplate what you want to be doing 12 years from now.

-freewillatrology.com

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): As the relentless nihilism of the mass media threatens to quash our ability to even perceive, let alone exult in life's glorious beauty, we need new words to remind us to see with our own eyes. I have one: mirabilia, which is actually an old term that hasn't been used much in the last 400 years. Its literal definition is "marvels that inspire wonder," but I'd like to add the following nuances: beguiling curiosities, enigmatic joys, changes that inspire amused awe, and sudden deliverance from boring evils. I'm happy to report that you Virgos, more than any other sign, are currently poised to see, create, and attract mirabilia.

-freewillastrology.com

Thanks to those of you who thought of me and my t-shirt collection that emailed and called (!) me to let me know about this totally fucking cool "A Scanner Darkly" t-shirt up on eBay. Along with that, there's also a Constantine camera crew shirt and a ballcap too. Unfortunately, I really can't afford to feed my Substance K addiction this month. I've no budget for frivolousness, I may even have to start buying cheaper vodka.

The horror.

Anyway, let's discuss how awesome the image is in that Scanner shirt, huh?
Keanu's going to make a great Bob Arctor. If the finished film has that kind of detail in the animation, like Nudel, I'm going to be very happy. I'm already thinking ahead to how cool the DVD grabs are going to look. I want to wallpaper my bathroom with them.

I'm still in the process of reading the book. I haven't done any reading at all in the past month or so but I made a big dent in it yesterday in between napping and eating leftover BBQ. I'm determined to finish it by the end of the week. I don't know if it's good or bad that I'm picturing the cast of the movie while I read, but I just can't help it. Especially the parts with Barris. Downey was such a perfect choice.

I can't believe we have to wait a whole year for this film's release...

Oh well, maybe some more crew t-shirts will need a good home by then.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In Greek mythology, Narcissus was the gorgeous demigod who had no desire for intimate relationships but fell desperately in love with his own reflection. From his name comes the word "narcissist," which refers to a person who is excessively self-involved, has an inflated sense of importance, and compulsively craves admiration. I've always suspected that Virgos are the least narcissistic sign in the zodiac. Many of you underestimate your self-worth and don't treat yourself with enough loving kindness. In fact, I sometimes get a mischievous urge to advise you to be *more* of a narcissist - like now, for instance. Here's an experiment I wish you would do: Spend 20 minutes in front of a mirror telling yourself how beautiful you are.

-freewillastrology.com

Somehow, I can't see him taking this advice.....

I'm not sure, but it sounds interesting.....

This is not another cheerleader story.
This is not another prom queen story.
This is not a scary movie.
This is not a comedy.
This is a story about music.
This is a story about film.
This is a story about two girls and two icons.
This is a story about obsession - and how far it can take you.

-thanks to Renie

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Your life will always be unfinished business, Virgo. From now until the day you die many years hence, you will be a work in progress. There will never come a time when you have everything figured out. I urge you, therefore, to find a way to feel at peace with this incompleteness--or better yet, to love and celebrate it. Luckily for you, the coming weeks will bring you some of the sweetest, juiciest imperfections ever.

-freewillastrology.com

• The Matrix 101 has now published all 5 parts of Strephen Faller's article The Matrix and The Mater: A feminist analysis spanning the entire Matrix trilogy.

• A Scanner Darkly Blog. Lots of Dicky goodness.

• Keanuette visits eBay headquarters. Surely they have a wing named for her by now?

• It's been so long since I've checked my HSX account I still had stock in Tripoli, what the hell? I dumped it today and bought a bunch of Scanner shares. Investing in Keanu has been very very good to me. Now if only those dollars were real.

• I'm not really watching the Olympics, but I'm having the most fabulous greek salad for lunch.
  

If you've seen "Larry", you might know why the sight of Keanu playing a red Fender bass just thrills me to no end.

Sigh....

This is just what I needed to jumpstart my busy bassplaying weekend. The Vibemerchants are getting together every day from now to Sunday, to learn some new songs, jam with some new friends and hopefully get some recording done.

Rawk.

Also, there are some Dogstar photos over at KeanuFan.com's gallery of him playing a nice white Fender as well.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Some astrologers say that Virgos tend to be so obsessed with small details that they neglect to focus on the big picture; that they get so bound up in seeking perfection that they miss out on life's messy beauty and slightly flawed glories. But even if there is a grain of truth in those ideas, they've temporarily become irrelevant. In the coming weeks, you'll be drawn to carry out the task Henry Miller described as follows: "to keep the miracle alive, to live always in the miracle, to make the miracle more and more miraculous, to swear allegiance to nothing, but live only miraculously, think only miraculously."

-freewillastrology.com

KEANU TO BUY A MACINTOSH

Hollywood hunk KEANU REEVES has finally accepted the power of the internet and bought an APPLE MACINTOSH, according to friends.

The MATRIX star - who logged on again after a brief fling with chess servers and dial-up in the early 90s - asked the salesman to explain how ethernet works in a Los Angeles Apple Store, adding that he is ready for instant access to porn in his life after the past 12 years of newstands and sticky floors, reports not a particularly credible source at all.

A close friend says, "Kenau [sic] and technology have known each other for years. In May (04) they got together again and over the past few months, Keanu started thinking about DSL vs. cable.

"He has spent weeks picking out an email address. Apple said 'Yes' when he asked if "TheOne@mac.com" was taken. It will just be a simple addy, Keanu hates fuss, attention and a string of numbers before the @." He's told pals to expect the lame joke forwards and funny pictures to start hitting their inboxes later this week.

Have a bitchin' weekend everybody!

Generous, selfless, sweet natured, attractive and a good friend is what you are. Though shy and quite an introvert in public, you are very sensual, passionate and an expert in love! You are adept at playing any role, at any time, in all circumstances!
K people do not normally fool around. They take their love life very seriously.

What does your first initial say about you?

-via this C person..*wink*

Also, here's Virgo's heavy horoscope this week from freewillastrology.com-

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In his book, Legacy of the Heart: The Spiritual Advantages of a Painful Childhood, Wayne Muller traces many of our psychological ills to the bad habit known as "repetition compulsion." After growing up, we unconsciously recreate the situations that damaged or addled us as children. In this way we hope to find the healing we couldn't find when we were young. We choose friends and lovers and employers who inadvertently play the roles of our original family members as we continually restage our old imprints in search of some feeling of resolution that will set us free. That's the bad news, Virgo. The good news is that the next six weeks will bring the best opportunity ever to escape from repetition compulsion.

I think it must be because I'm filled with anxiety about playing Oblivious live tomorrow night, but I had a crazy dream about opening for becky. Unfortunately, DreamKeanu didn't show up to give me tips on the solo.

Have I ever mentioned that this whole Keanu thing started with a dream? I mean, I've always enjoyed Keanu's work. If it was a choice between 3 or 4 movies that looked good on a Saturday night, I'd pick the one that had Keanu Reeves in it, but that was about it. The internet changes fandom just by the ease of information flow. I'd never heard of Dogstar before I started surfing Keanu websites, didn't know his birthday, etc. Eventually, the more I learned about him in my waking hours the more I realized that he was fascinating and someone I could both admire and respect.

Ah, but we're talking about dreams here.

Anyway, the very first night I did a search on Keanu, I was up very late browsing pictures and reading tidbits. When I finally fell asleep I had one of the most vivid dreams I'd ever had. I hadn't seen The Matrix yet, but he had on the long coat (which I'm sure was influenced by the pictures I'd saved onto my drive that night) and was leading me through a typical Tim Burton-esque dreamscape (lots of angular staircases, extreme proprtioned doorways, etc) and every once in a while he would have to fight something off while I crouched by his feet. I remember still that he would reach down and touch my head as he was fending off whatever it was that was menacing us, then he would grab my hand and pull me to run some more. I remember being able to smell him in the dream, and the only way to describe it is that he smelled like power. The dream stuck with me the whole next day. I would be driving and my thoughts would drift into replaying it, trying to figure it out.

Now, I don't really assign anything mystical to it. I don't think he came to me in my dreams or anything. I don't think I believe in that. I do think that something about him triggered something in my subconciousness, and just like a tiny chemical Joel Silver, the little producer in my greymatter saw potential and said "This. This man-symbol, this splendiferous icon has got IT. She'll pay attention to the message if I put it in this envelope."

And since then, I know that some of my dreams of him are my brain working out things that I really need to pay attention to. Of course, some of them are my subcon just giving me a little treat as well (frankly, it still owes me for a "Gene Wilder in a bathtub" thing that took a week to recover from).

The last Keanu dream I had was that I was his assistant, and he was really clingy. Like, I would get up and try and walk away and he would grab me by my shirt and pull me back down to sit next to him. Interpret that however you will. I took it as a sign that I should work through my latest bout of writer's block and continue with this website.

Anyway, today needs to be all about the practicing for me because I don't need to dream about being naked onstage with a bass made of ice again, so I'm inviting you to share your dreams. They don't even have to be Keanu ones.

As if we needed more proof that Hollywood is completely out of ideas, last night I saw an ad for Alien vs. Predator .

OK, I know a trend when I see it, and since Keanu doesn't seem to have too much lined up at the moment, I'm thinking maybe I could pitch a few ideas that might get him some work.

Neo vs. Siddhartha

Just coming up with a plotline for this is a bit of zen in itself. One thing for sure is that the final product will inevitably be called "too talky" by a bunch of idiot critics.

Conor O'Neill vs. Shane Falco

Conor makes a big bet against The Sentinels and calls in a favor to his ol' buddy Shane to, um.....drop the ball. Shane refuses and Conor decides to kidnap him and take his place at the 50-yard line. Hilarity ensues.

Donnie Barksdale vs. David Allen Griffin

Tagline: "Hey! Time to Pick on Someone Your Own Size!"

Excellent Adventure Ted vs. Bogus Journey Ted

In a climactic scene rivaling Zoolander's "Walk Off", the Teds have a "Battle of the Air Guitars". Fingers fly as the contest goes on much longer than you could possibly imagine, ending only when Tod accidentally runs them both over with his dragster.

Johnny Utah vs. Jack Traven

This one's still in the concept stage. I'm trying to figure out how to keep them both shirtless for the duration of the film.

Keanu has been immortalized as a work of art many different ways, and one of the entries in a recent Worth1000.com contest depicts him as the masterpiece he is.

There's always something interesting to look at over at Worth1000, and Keanu and his work are always a good source of inspiration. This contest is full of Matrix references.

This is sort of amusing, but this is just fucking wrong.

Heh.

OMG.

I don't even want to know....

Also, speaking of photoshoppery, there's another graphics challenge over at Desolate Souls this month and check out the results for July. Congrats to the winners.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Before you can move on to your next exciting challenge, you'll have to answer a few hard questions about the life you've lived since your last birthday. The object of this test is not to make you feel guilty, but to help you take inventory of your gaffes and indiscretions so you can make atonement, thereby clearing a path to the future. Have you purposely caused anyone pain? Did you tell any big lies? Did you commit any unethical acts? Have you revealed information told to you in confidence? Do you owe money or energy to anyone you have no intention of paying back? Confess everything, Virgo--to the mirror. Then go set things right, or at least as right as possible.

-freewillastrology.com

Don't think I haven't entertained the thought of acquiring this Jack Traven t-shirt as a nice summer jammie since it's much too hot to wear eddieshirt this time of year.

But aside from being too spendy, I also really don't want to see this scene play out...

krix: eddieshirt! come meet your new hangermate, Jack-T.

eddieshirt: um....hi.

Jack-T:[spits gum] so hotshot, diffuse any champagne bottles lately?

eddieshirt:*cries*

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I met a man who told he trademarked the term "couch potato" more than two decades ago. He said that in the early years, he made decent money from people who compensated him for the right to use his intellectual property. Eventually, though, he had to hire lawyers to take legal action against those who wanted to avoid payment. In time, his attorney fees outstripped the amount he was able to collect from violators of his trademark, and he gave up the effort. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you Virgos are facing or will soon face a comparable situation: A certain advantage you've had may no longer be an advantage; an asset or strength could begin to require so much upkeep that it may no longer be an asset or strength.

-freewillastrology.com

I finally heard back from FreezeTheDisease.org.

Tickets for the August 8 charity hockey game in Valencia are still available and they are $35.

UPDATE: KEANU IS NO LONGER LISTED ON THE ROSTER Thanks CK.

You can call the CFF office at (310)694-5457 for direct ticket sales and for more info visit freezethedisease.org.

Warm up the sake! I'll be meeting keanuvisionary LoveTheLefty tonight to have dinner The Little Buddha Cafe, no california roll is safe!

And speaking of which, KeanuA-Z.com has posted an article from 1994 that you might want to check out titled "The Buddha of California"(see how I did that?), it's worth it just for the great photographs by Michel Haddi.

According to the team roster at the Freeze The Disease.org website, Keanu will be playing goal for the Home Team at the CFF charity game on August 8 in Valencia, Ca.

That looks like confirmation to me, however there is an alternate listed so I wouldn't book a pricey flight.

But if you're in the area I really urge you to take the opportunity to see Keanu on the ice. Paulie's playing too, and maybe Michael Vartan will show up this time.

There's no ticket details on the site beyond that there are only 400 seats available and they are nearly sold out, but I've sent an email for info which I'll post when I get it.

-thanks Joy!

If your plan for today is to lay around in your jammies with the remote in one hand and a mouse in the other (and if I had the day off, that'd pretty much be my plan) then you can catch some Keanu content on VH1's "I Love the 90's" show...

1pm-2pm VH1 "I Love The 90s" 1991 will have Point Break coverage
4pm-5pm VH1 "I Love The 90s" 1994 will have Speed coverage
9pm-10pm VH1 "I Love The 90s" 1999 will have The Matrix coverage.

(times above are Central Time - check your listings)

Thanks Jena!

As of the night before last, my Keanu bass dreams outnumber my Keanu sex dreams.

I haven't decided if I like this or not, I seem to wake up just as exhausted.

Roi has flat-out refused to sing about being anyone's "concubine" so covering Higher Ground is right out. The good news is: The Vibemerchants will be covering becky's Oblivious at an upcoming gig.

I just need Dream!Keanu to give me a few pointers on that solo of his....

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I think what you're about to experience is summed up well by the bumper sticker I saw today: *If a pig flies, don't criticize it for not staying up long.* In other words, Virgo, the most righteous response to the wonders you've been experiencing is delighted gratitude -- even if the wonders don't quite live up to their initial promise or your early expectations. Ironically, this approach is the only one that will make it possible for the pig to fly again in the future.

-freewillastrology.com

While there are only 5 results on Google for "bad food at Denny's" there are NONE for "good food at Denny's", which is why I should always consult the internet before making important decisions like where to have pancakes at 1AM. I swear, I thought IHoP was open 24 hours.

Thanks to everyone for all your good vibes for last night's gig. The crowd was small but seemed to like it and we had a great time. Thanks again to Wanda for coming out even though she was sick. \m/

By the way, as we were loading up last night, Dave mentioned he heard the Howard Stern thing (mentioned on KeanuWeb and it sounds like it was a repeat of the show featuring Dogstar. I can't believe that we wouldn't have heard from Paulie if becky was doing Howard's show.

Oh, and I'd like a nap now.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Thirty-three-year-old pop star Jennifer Lopez earned $29 million in 2003. Presumably she shares some of her wealth with her mom, Guadalupe. Cynical observers might therefore regard it as a sign of divine favoritism that Guadalupe recently won a jackpot of $2.4 million while playing a slot machine at an Atlantic City casino. I suspect you may be less hasty to jump to that conclusion, though, since many of you Virgos are currently being visited (or soon will be) with an equally ridiculous amount of good luck. Don't feel guilty about your blessings in the least, please, even if they seem way beyond your fair share. Lap them up.

-freewillastrology.com

Oh, fax me.
I'm paying for taking yesterday off.

Will Smith, in this WIRED interview:

You turned down the part of Neo in The Matrix - any regrets?
You know, The Matrix is a difficult concept to pitch. In the pitch, I just didn't see it. I watched Keanu's performance - and very rarely do I say this - but I would have messed it up. I would have absolutely messed up The Matrix. At that point I wasn't smart enough as an actor to let the movie be. Whereas Keanu was smart enough to just let it be. Let the movie and the director tell the story, and don't try and perform every moment.

I like Will Smith, but he's no Neo.

Honestly, I liked him best as the Prince of Bel Air.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Wal-Mart is famous for the stingy pay and benefits it offers its employees. But another giant chain store, Costco, is the opposite. It's so good to its workers that some business gurus disapprove. "From the perspective of investors, Costco's benefits are overly generous," says retail analyst Bill Dreher, quoted in the Wall Street Journal. He thinks the company's benevolence depresses its stock value because investors are afraid its profit margins aren't as high as they could be. But the fact is that Costco is very successful, and its five-year growth rate has been 10.1 percent annually, better than Wal-Mart's 9.8 percent. All this is preface, Virgo, for my warning that your gifts may also be criticized in the coming week. Be unfazed, please. Have faith that the best way to build your prosperity is to cultivate your generosity.

-freewillastrology.com

I couldn't help myself.

Spotted over at KeanuA-Z, I had to buy this print of a Scrojo poster for last September's becky show at the Belly Up Tavern. Especially since I was at that one.

Even though in principle, we hate the "featuring keanu reeves" part (what about promoting the whole band?), the image rawks. It looks like it was based on a DeChristo photo.

Looks like Scrojo is the official Belly Up flyer arteest, and I really like his work. I'm in love with the Elliott Smith and Frank Black prints, and the one for the Bacon Brothers is hilarious.

Damn, now I want The Vibemerchants to play there just so we can get a Scrojo poster.

In addition to the FARK discussion that Beeb pointed out, they're also picking apart A Scanner Darkly over at Slashdot*.

Gosh, can we get someone to post something at MetaFilter for a hat trick?

You know, I have no desire to delve into one of these discussions, I've beaten my head against that wall before. I pick my battles and stay tenacious on my own turf. Besides, he doesn't need me or anyone else to champion him to the masses. If Keanu Reeves cared what some people said, he'd have stopped rolling with the punches a long time ago.

It is interesting to read what people outside of the fandom circles are saying about him and his projects, though. Oh sure, there's the usual cheap-shotting haters, but it's not all bad. The Matrix earned him the props from most of the geek community, and he's still revered by many simply for Ted.

And I really think that his work in ASD is going to blow everyone, including us longtime fans, away.

*the key to reading /. is in the use of the threshold feature. The worthwhile discussion rises to the top at level 4 or 5.

I'm having a stressful day. Tell me a joke or something.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Your theme this week is careen-stable. Here's Rebecca Rusche to tell you of the term's origin and how to recognize when it shows up in your life. "In high school, my mom used to let me use her VW Beetle to go to basketball practice. One night after practice, a friend and I were chatting and drinking Coke when we decided to see how fast we could get the Beetle going down a nearby dirt road. Soon we were careening at 65 mph, shouting 'careen!' every time we hit a bump and went flying into the air. When we arrived back at the gym and got out of the car half an hour later, we saw my Coke can sitting on the front bumper next to the license plate. I nudged it softly to see if it was lodged in there somehow, but it fell right off -- wasn't stuck at all. I thought, 'There must be a word for this magic,' and thus 'careen-stable' was born. It came to mean anything that maintains its poise in the midst of wild, fast movement."

-freewillastrology.com

Joel Silver, you sneaky bastard.

You knew that time has started to heal my heartbreak over you ignoring my pleas to attend the Reloaded/Revolutions premieres with you.

And you knew that now my beloved 24 is done for the season, my Tuesday nights would be free.

OH! And I know you KNEW that if you put a psuedo-Keanu doing a little Neoish jump-kick in the promo of your new show Next Action Star, that I would probably tune in.

Damn you to hell. And take Mark Burnett with you.

I've been trying to limit my reality TV intake. Oh sure, I'll watch Survivor (though not another "All-Star" season, fuck those crybabies) and it's a little known fact that my twisted love for the evil Dr. Will of BB2 is what indirectly introduced me to blogging, but I have my limits. I don't watch Idol Search or Average Bachelor. I avoid anything that insults my intelligence by trying to convince me that a bunch of famewhores are on national TV looking for L-O-V-E (OK, I watched The Littlest Groom, but OMG how could I not?). I used to watch Fear Factor just because Roi and I would call each other on commercial breaks to go "eewwwwwwwww!!!", but really, you can only watch a playmate eat a horse testicle so many times.

I blame that I was already in reality mode due to tuning into The Casino (which as a Las Vegan, I HAVE to watch. Otherwise they will send someone over to break my knees) and last night I found myself watching the special audition episode of Next Action Star. I'm not sure what hooked me, maybe the fact that they invoked Keanu's name more than once. Maybe it was Joel's sweet baritone stroking my psyche, reminding me over and over that one man AND one woman will win this show and go on to STAR in a MAJOR MOTION PICTURE. It's a dream come true, working with Joel. He told me himself.

Anyway, they held auditions all over the country and there were your usual looks into the wannabes hopes and dreams. Apparently all you needed was the ability to kick down a door and do a summersault and you got to be seen. Oh, and the pretend gun gesture (hands together, index fingers pointing at your imaginary foe), you had to know that. There were good tryouts, there were great tryouts, there were laughable tryouts. I'm not invested enough to have caught the names of the judges, but that blonde woman?(and I bet Keanu knows her) Wow, what a bitch. The one that called everyone (starting with the nelly muscle boy) "Sugar" wasn't as bad, but still pretty catty. I hope we're done with them. Tonight they move the wannabes into a big house in Hollywood and start dropping them off rooftops into pools of fire or something. I can't wait.

As far as the contenders go, at this point I'm rooting for that really intense Brando-esque guy from NY, Yale drama grad Reggie ("fan man") and the girl who one of the judges said had a "black widow" quality. I wish I could root for Viviane in her Matrix coat, but I know I'll end up hating her. And her boobs. Also, special mention should go to Matt T. (You know which one I'm talking about) because you KNOW the unenlightened are going to compare him to Keanu.

As if.

On Sunday, August 8, 2004 The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation present the First Annual Freeze the Disease Celebrity Hockey Game in Valencia, California.

Becky's own Paulie is listed as "confirmed" as a goaltender for the event and our favorite goalie, Keanu is listed as "hopeful". Also in the "hopefuls" is becky's Rebecca, in line to play that all-important power position of Recording Artist. Actually, maybe they'll take my suggestion from last year and let her sing the National Anthem?

Location and ticket info can be found on the Freeze the Disease website.

-via Club-Keanu

I'm not sure when and where Keanu first played bass for an audience, it may have been in '92 at a club called Raji's in Hollywood. A Dogstar gig that went down in history as where Weezer got it's name. (There's a little geek trivia for you.)

Anyway, I'm sure Keanu wasn't as nervous as I am today. I'm sure he didn't have a home eyebrow plucking incident the night before, giving him a perpetual quizzical look. I'm sure that he didn't lie awake until 1:30, wake up at 5am, and then couldn't go back to sleep until 6:30 and ended up DREAMING ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO SLEEP. Gah.

But I'm also sure that once he started playing he went with the moment. He probably put his head down, stood close to his amp and just let the music happen. And that's what I'm going to do tonight. I'm just going to focus on the music and get my bass on.

And hope that no one else fucks up.

I wish you could all be there.

For those that will be: don't bother screaming at me to take off my shirt, either.

Rock on.

Wow, the only news about Keanu over the weekend seems to be where he wasn't. No charity gala, no MTV awards, no krix's bed....it's a swindle, I tell you.

I fully intend to get my Reeves on tonight at practice.

I won't be wearing the hat, though.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): [Note: In the spirit of the epic yet mysterious turning point you're at, Virgo, I'm providing you with an extravagant yet cryptic oracle. Read it with the nonlinear side of your brain.] Your escape from the false "home" is imminent. Are you ready to change about 10 percent of your mind about who you really are and 20 percent of your mind about where you truly belong? Regard it as a lucky sign if the prospect of fresh freedom rouses an ancient fear. It means you're close to finding the lost key to the kingdom of childhood, which is also the key to the secret garden of adulthood.

freewillastrology from Rob Brezsny

There's a contest over at TeenHollywood.com to win a T-shirt designed by Keanu.

Of course, you can go to the TH page just to see that great smile of his and then go directly to AngelWear.com and order your own. That way you're a guarenteed winner!

Keanu created two designs "Zen" and "Peace" for AngelWear to benefit the City of Hope charity. I have the light colored "Zen" one in a regular t-shirt (thanks to ~L), but I think I may have to pick up one of the new fitted "soft-tees" in black with the "Peace" design.

Blame Rogan for this:

Hey Dude

Hey dude, don't make it bogus.
Take a sad song and make it, like, excellenter.
Remember to, like, party on,
Then you can start to make it excellenter.

Hey dude, don't be afraid.
You were made to go out and get her.
The minute you let her under your skin,
Then you begin to make it excellenter.

And anytime you feel the pain, hey dude, like, refrain,
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little bogus.

Hey dude, don't let me down.
You have found her, now go and get her.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it excellenter.

So let it out and let it in, hey dude, begin,
You're waiting for someone to perform with.
And don't you know that it's just you, hey dude, you'll do,
The movement you need is on your shoulder.

Hey dude, don't make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it excellenter.
Remember to let her under your skin,
Then you'll begin to make it
Excellenter excellenter excellenter excellenter excellenter, oh.

Na na na na na na,
Na na na na, hey dude...

Head over to Club-Keanu for a short clip from the World Stunt Awards.

Behold the Blue Dragon.

Jesse James' West Coast Choppers website features pictures of this custom bike made for Keanu.

-via Club-Keanu

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Can you wait a while to receive your vindication, recognition, and reward? I hope so. If you insist on your prize immediately, it will be unfinished, like a garland made of flowers that were picked before they bloomed. If you're patient, on the other hand, fate will be able to fashion you a riper and more useful blessing. Do you need further motivation, Virgo? Here's some. One of the weak spots in your mastery of the game of life has been a lack of good timing, but lately you've been getting better at sensing the arrival of the perfect moment. Let this growing skill grow a little more.

-freewillastrology.com

I totally need one of these with a rotating library of Keanu film trailers as the crown jewel of my T-shirt collection, which has grown considerably since this entry.

This week's horoscope from freewillastrology.com:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It just ain't natural for a Virgo to be a spectacular exhibitionist. We astrologers might be forgiven, then, if we've wondered how the singer Beyoncé could possibly be a member of your tribe, as she claims to be. Recently, the mystery was solved. In an interview with the "Star," Beyoncé revealed that a character named Sasha takes over her body onstage. "There's no way I'd wear a short little dress and dance like that in front of all those people," she said. I bring this up, Virgo, because I'd like you to consider acquiring your own alternate personality. He or she could help you fulfill your current cosmic mandate, which is to climb to a rooftop or mountaintop or tabletop and do a song and dance dedicated to the person you want to be five years from today.

Also, a couple things you might be interested in...

-Japenese site LoveBecky has posted a clip of Keanu playing the Syamisen. (via KeanuA-Z)

-Access Hollywood will have a look at the Constantine trailer on tomorrow's (Thurs.) show. (via SuperheroHype)

-I realize it will mean putting up with Carson Daly, but I've requested tickets to go see Juliette Lewis and The Licks when they are here in Vegas taping Last Call next week. If I go I'll let you know how they compare to becky.

Four women were eating lunch in Hollywood. They started bragging about their sons.

"My son is a priest," said one woman, "and when he walks into a room, everyone says,'Oh, hello, Father.'"

"Well, my son is a Federal Judge," said another, "and when he walks into a room, everyone says, 'Oh, hello, Your Honor.'"

"My son just inherited his father's English estate, and when he walks into a room, everyone says, 'Oh, hello, Your Lordship."

"Well," said a thin woman with short platinum blond hair, "my son is Keanu Reeves, and when he walks into a room, everyone says...

"Oh, my god!"

-thanks Sandy!

The Slogan Generator posted by Jade in yesterday's comments sure had some interesting and inspiring results.

My favorite has to be...

Not nearly as fun but in the same spirit, is bandnamemaker.com which spits out some quirky combos suitable for use as band names, song titles (or...hmmm...perhaps blog entry titles?), based on your custom word choice, which is...of course...in this case, Keanu.

• Keanu Guava - my new favorite flavor
• Keanu Einstein - ironic indie hipsters wish they'd thought of it first
• Nameless Keanu of the Sling Angle
• Drunken Keanu and the Shakes - coming soon to a lounge near you!
• Keanu Malice
• Keanu Crouch
• Keanu Sprocket - Now is the time on keanuvision when we DANCE!
• Keanu Venus
• Evil Keanu
• Rude Keanu
• Pesky Keanu - preferable to Evil or Rude Keanus, yet still annoying
• Keanu Comment of the Lubricated Bucket
• Desperado Keanu - aye yi yi
• After Keanu - is that like an afterglow that lasts forever?
• Keanu Mechanic - for making sure his bucket is lubricated properly, no doubt
• Keanu Alignment
• Keanu Hazard - like SPEED posters in thrift store windows
• Overnight Keanu
• Keanu Collusion
• Keanu Regression
• Keanu Meltdown - um...I've had this before
• Keanu Fun and the Vodka - I've had this too!

• Occasional Keanu - which I'm definitely going to use for the title of my first free-form progressive jazz instrumental

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): According to Wordspy.com, the term pareidolia (pronounced "payr-eye-DOH-lee-uh") refers to "the erroneous or fanciful perception of a pattern or meaning in something that is actually ambiguous or random." Mainstream astronomers say this is the perfect word to describe what rogue researchers have called the "Face on Mars," an evocative plateau in the Cydonia region of the red planet. It's important to note, however, that not all wonders and marvels are the result of pareidolia. For instance, the personal message you think you discern in a billboard or tortilla this week may really be a communication directly from an angel of mercy to you. To distinguish authentic breakthroughs from mere pareidolias, strike a balance between skepticism and open-mindedness. Just because some apparent miracles are frauds doesn't mean they all are.

-freewillastrology.com

Thanks to Nudel for this scan of a little blurb from InStyle magazine...

It's nice to know if I ever take a cross-country roadtrip with Reeves, we won't fight over music.

"Pull over. Let's dance."

I'm liking Joy Division more these days (thanks to Rhonda and Tharize for some great mix CDs) and I've always been a fan of The Ramones, The Clash and the Violent Femmes.

I've actually been listening to a lot of Femmes recently because Vibemerchants want to cover Please Do Not Go. I had to tell Roi and Dave if they thought I was in any way going to be able to play any of Brian Ritchie's bass parts that they were freaking high.

One day, maybe. Just not anytime soon.

• KeanuWeb reports that Lou Taylor Pucci's site reports that:

  Lou [..] was reshooting scenes For "Thumbsucker" with Director Mike Mills, Keanu Reeves, Vincent D'Onofrio, and Tilda Swinton, in fact he said he felt like he was in "The Matrix" as he was shooting scenes in the daytime with Keanu and at night with Carrie-Anne Moss [who just joined the cast of Lou's newest project, titled "The Chumscrubber"]...

• USA Today (and a bunch of other sources) reports that Keanu will be honored for his work in action movies at the upcoming Taurus World Stunt Awards, which are scheduled to air on May 26 on SpikeTV.

  The awards, which recognize the men and women who put their lives at risk to make fights, explosions and tall-building falls on TV shows and movies look more realistic, will be presented May 16.

  The 39-year-old Reeves will receive an honorary trophy for best action movie star. His films include The Matrix trilogy, Speed and Chain Reaction.

  "Keanu's work with The Matrix trilogy was some of the best from an actor of his generation," said Gernot Friedhuber, executive producer of the show. "He has consistently shown an ability to learn from the stunt teams on his many films and has expressed a genuine interest in the field of stunt work."

  
  
• becky's Paulie will be tending goal at two charity hockey games this weekend in Calgary and Vancouver. See HollywoodCelebrityHockey.com for details.
  
• Keanu co-star Diane Keaton makes People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful list. The man himself is overlooked once again, which is fine as it allows me to keep up the tradition of NEVER, EVER buying People Magazine.
  
• Vibemerchants officially have a new drummer, and she has a rad haircut (which allows me to usurp her old one, glee!) and completely rocks. Expect gigs as soon as July.
  
• Red Bull comes in handy to carry 4-packs now. Be still my heart......no, really.
  

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The influential New York Times Book Review may soon begin to emphasize nonfiction books and cut back on its coverage of literary fiction. "The most compelling ideas tend to be in the nonfiction world," Times executive editor Bill Keller said in an interview, launching the rumors. Poet Lawrence Ferlinghetti decried such a move, telling the San Francisco Chronicle's Heidi Benson that "the national consciousness has [already] been taken over by the technological and pragmatic." He'd like to see more fiction and poetry. Regardless of where you might stand on this issue for the long haul, Virgo, it's important to side with Ferlinghetti for now. You need less knowledge and more imagination, fewer of the hard facts and more of the dreamy truths.

-freewillastrology.com

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You have two options to choose from, Virgo. The contrast between them reminds me of the difference between two singers, Norah Jones and Ani DiFranco. Jones's work is "tasteful and listenable," said the New York Times, though "Nothing much happens in her songs." ShakingThrough.net wrote that though Jones can be maudlin and subdued, she creates "a winning collection of polished (albeit innocuous) gems." About Ani DiFranco, the New York Times noted that "It's worth putting up with a few overbearing moments to hear someone so willing to take chances." Billboard said DiFranco's latest CD is "raw -- for better (the immediacy of the performance) and worse (traces of off-key harmonies)." So which way will you go, Virgo: bland and classy like Jones, or rough and stimulating like DiFranco?

-freewillastrology.com

*eyeroll*

I can't decide if I really want one of these or if I want to point and mock it.

I think I'll stick with my illegal "I [heart] Keanu" baseball jersey.

It's affectionate without being presumptuous.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It's time for a check-in, Virgo. What progress have you been making in your work on this year's big opportunities? As I suggested last December, you'll attract unexpected help in 2004 by growing the parts of your life that are small and timid and immature. Likewise, you'll generate good luck any time you enlarge your sphere of influence and energize your ambitions. Thirdly, you'll feel more and more at home in the world if you aggressively seek out interesting responsibilities that liberate you from your old images of yourself. My sense is that you've been doing OK in all these tasks, but there's room for improvement. The coming weeks are the perfect time to kick your efforts into high gear.

-freewillastrology.com

BLOWN AWAY

I miss the way you smell
I miss the time we had
I pushed it to the end
I threw myself down again

I miss the light I miss the day
I'm on the ground I'm blown away
In a world that's gone I need
Another day
Blown away

I miss the way you stayed
I will return there someday
I pushed it to the end
I threw myself down again

I miss the light I miss the day
I'm on the ground I'm blown away
In a world that's gone I need
Another day
Blown away

-Dogstar

I'm still blown away by the birthday love. Rereading the comments and emails, stumbling into the kitchen and seeing the roses on the table....

Have I mentioned Wow...just wow.?

I'm going to hold it all in a very special place. I know I said I wasn't going to have a team of trainers in my 37th year, but I've got the best damn bunch of friends and support network a person could ask for. I pretty much feel like I can do anything.

So let's rock.

becky plays HOB on the Sunset Strip tonight. I hope everyone has a great time and I will see many of you tomorrow (eeeeee!)

Speaking of the Sunset Strip (see how I did that?), a film I think I've been waiting for since I came into online fandom: Mayor of the Sunset Strip- by and about Rodney Bingenheimer, is finally seeing a limited release. Keanu makes a 2 second appearence in the trailer, which you can see here (via keanuweb). It looks like a really interesting film if you love LA rock and roll. Keanuette saw it in London last fall, and has a good write up.
Check the official site and see if it's coming to a theater near you.

Keanu spent his entire thirty-seventh year working on The Matrix Trilogy.

I won't have a team of trainers or a multi-million dollar check at the end of it, but I hope to make the most of mine as well.

Just like me and my caffeine addiction, my new phone is Java-enabled and I totally want this.

- via google news

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The Indian activist Gandhi lead many peaceful rebellions against oppressive governments, first in South Africa and later in British-controlled India. At first he called his strategy "passive resistance," but later disavowed that term because it had negative implications. He ultimately chose the Sanskrit word satyagraha, meaning "love force" or "truth force." "Truth ('satya') implies love," he said, "and firmness ('agraha') is a synonym for force. 'Satyagraha' is thus the force which is born of truth and love." According to my reading of the astrological omens, Virgo, satyagraha should be your word of power in the coming weeks. Your uprising against the forces of darkness has got to do more than say "no." A fierce, primal YES should be at the heart of your crusade.

--from freewillastrology.com

True fact: The first boy I ever kissed grew up to be a bass player.

I've kissed a few others over the years...

I think I'd like the last boy I ever kiss to be a bass player as well.

Which means from now on, I'm only kissing bass players.

-phototographer Aaron Settipane has a review of becky's Feb. 18 Viper room gig at his website, myracleworks.com

Eric sent me this picture of an electronic puzzle game in his bar. See if you can figure out why.

note: don't click the comments unless you want the answer

Kick out the jams motherfuckers !
Yeah! I, I, I, I, I'm gonna
I'm gonna kick 'em out ! Yeah !
Well I feel pretty good
And I guess that I could get crazy now baby
Cause we all got in tune
And when the dressing room got hazy now baby

I know how you want it child
Hot, quick and tight
The girls can't stand it
When you're doin' it right
Let me up on the stand
And let me kick out the jam
Yes, kick out the jams
I want to kick'em out !

Yes I'm starting to sweat
You know my shirt's all wet
What a feeling
In the sound that abounds
And resounds and rebounds off the ceiling

You gotta have it baby
You can't do without
When you get that feeling
You gotta sock'em out
Put that mike in my hand
And let me kick out the jam
Yes ! Kick out the jams
I want to kick'em out

So you got to give it up
You know you can't get enough Miss Mackenzie
Cause it gets in your brain
It drives you insane
With the frenzy

The wigglin guitars, girl
The crash of the drums
Make you wanna keep-a-rockin'
Till the morning comes

Let me be who I am
And let me kick out the jam
Yes, kick out the jams
I done kicked em out !!!

-MC5

Canadian men have good taste (and I bet they taste good, too).

Thanks to Irene who sent me this article from today's Toronto Star that says Keanu is considered Most Fashionable Canadian by the men surveyed, stomping all over Celine Dion. Hee.

I suppose it's just a matter of time before taped-together shoes take the Great White North by storm.

*I looked for a Canadian town with a funny name to put in the title and found this page.
Who wants to move to Dildo, Newfoundland with me?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): If you're willing, life will soon offer you not just a fleeting glimpse but a penetrating gaze at what has been concealed beneath the surface. You'll be invited to shed your preconceptions and come face-to-face with hidden agendas, missing links, and fertile secrets. If you'd rather not accept life's overture to strip away pretenses, please forget you ever read this horoscope. To retain it in your memory would interfere with your enjoyment of the pretty packaging that veils the slightly disturbing, totally invigorating contents inside.

-freewillastrology.com

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don't sit there passively, Virgo, hoping that fate will be nice to you. Be aggressive about cultivating good fortune. Drum up and track down the lucky breaks you need. To get you in the mood, I've infused the rest of this horoscope with subliminal suggestions that are scientifically formulated to make you a magnet for favors and synchronicities. (Combustion luster verve blaze.) They will set in motion shifts in your inner chemistry that will help other people see how beautiful you are. (Luminous flourish lucid mojo.) Soon you'll be tuning in to evidence that life is actually conspiring for you to succeed. (Lightning splendor wake-up fuel.)

-freewillatrology.com
(bonus for Taurus this week, Brezsny invokes The Matrix....

gesticulate

\juh-STIK-yuh-layt\, intransitive verb:
To make gestures or motions, especially while speaking or instead of speaking.

Muscular imagery. We think with our bodies. We often represent things in a kind of muscular imagery created by actions or implicit (unexpressed ) actions.

People who "talk" with their hands are using gestures to help themselves think as well as to communicate. A great deal of information is contained in kinesthetic sensations (feelings from the muscles and joints).

As a person talks, these sensations help structure the flow of ideas (Horowitz, 1970). It is impossible not to demonstrate when attempting to describe some things.

OK, I'm bored and cranky and there's no news so I figure I'll point out that Keanu is up against nine other actors (and in some cases I use the term loosly, I'm looking at you, The Rock) for Hollywood's sexiest studmuffin or something over at Hollywood.com...

And now I shall mock it.

Like Carol Alt, I find Colin amazingly skeevy.
Plus he looks like the lovechild of Ross and Joey in this pic. Ew.

Ok, I'll admit that Viggo looked yummy all bearded and kingly in middle earth, but cleaned up?
Ferret face.

Too. Much. Forehead. Also, kinda girly.
I once dumped a great guy just because his hands were more delicate than mine. Ick.

Johnny, you're the only one on this list that could even begin to make me consider letting the calls from Reeves go straight to my voicemail.
However, you charge too much for drinks at your club so I'm afraid you can never truly have my heart. Savvy?
(I still think deppravity.com would be a great name for a fan site.)

Another one who was tasty in the Hobbit movies but in general, meh. Plus, he looks like this stoner guy that used to hassle me in high school and I can't reconcile that grudge at all.
Bastard. You owe me for therapy.

Keanu's Constantine co-star so I shouldn't snark but.....
Like the bald, like the smile. Get that thing off your chin. Now.

Call me when he starts going by a real name.
I HATE his eyebrow thing.
And ultimately, I don't care how many movies you make, you're a wrestler.

I'm pretty sure you could give a fuck about these polls, but you are winning baby.
And you'll always be my sexiest everything. Smoooch....

Oh, Ashton.
God bless you and your trucker hats for finally taking the mantle of "stupid pretty boy" off of Keanu's undeserving shoulders.
Your huge guppy lips creep me out.

Who is this guy?
He's kinda cute in a weird Taiwanese dog kind of way, but he's not pinging my radar.
Or anything else for that matter.

If you'd like to go vote in this silly poll, you can do so here.

All. Day.

Clouds so swift
Rain won’t lift
Gate won’t close
Railings froze
Get your mind off wintertime
You ain’t
goin’ nowhere
Whoo-ee! ride me high
Tomorrow’s the day
My bride’s gonna come
Oh, oh, are we gonna fly
Down in the easy chair

I don’t care
How many letters they sent
Morning came and morning went
Pick up your money
And pack up your tent
You ain’t goin’ nowhere
Whoo-ee! ride me high
Tomorrow’s the day
My bride’s gonna come
Oh, oh, are we gonna fly
Down in the easy chair

Buy me a flute
And a gun that shoots
Tailgates and substitutes
Strap yourself
To the tree with roots
You ain’t goin’ nowhere
Whoo-ee! ride me high
Tomorrow’s the day
My bride’s gonna come
Oh, oh, are we gonna fly
Down in the easy chair

Genghis Khan
He could not keep
All his kings
Supplied with sleep
We’ll climb that hill no matter how steep
When we get up to it
Whoo-ee! ride me high
Tomorrow’s the day
My bride’s gonna come
Oh, oh, are we gonna fly
Down in the easy chair

-Bob Dylan, You Ain't Goin Nowhere

Tonight.
After band practice.
Roi and I are driving home.
Oblivious is playing in the CD player.

roi: becky's good
me: yeah they are
roi: it'd be cool to play the same venue
me: we could learn all their songs
roi: and go out and play them all before they go on
me: like in A Mighty Wind!
(the bass solo starts)
me: I like this. I thought it was really hard, but I think it's an effect.
me: I should learn this part
roi: we should do this song
me: ooooh yeah.......but you'd make me sing it.
roi: what's wrong with that?
me: I'm not ready to sing and play at the same time
roi: fine, I'll sing it.
me: you will?
roi: I ain't afraid of no becky song
me: I'm so blogging this.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In order to live, you've got to be a demolisher. You take plants and animals that were once alive and rip them apart with your teeth, then disintegrate them in your digestive system. Your body is literally on fire inside, burning up oxygen you suck into your lungs. You didn't actually cut down the trees used to make your house and furniture, but you colluded with their demise. Then there's the psychological liquidation you've done: killing off old beliefs you've outgrown, for instance. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, Virgo -- just pointing out that you have a lot of experience with positive expressions of destruction. Can you think of other forms this magic takes? It's your specialty these days.

-freewillastrology.com

Evidently, Kiefer was at the Viper Room Friday night.

You know, the night that becky played.

*SCREAMS INTO PILLOW*

I'm still all snot and lung-oysters, so I'm laying low for the next day or so.

Thanks everyone for the get-well wishes.

Oh and Yay, Charlize.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I'm grateful for my years of psychotherapy. They've been crucial in helping me shed bad mental habits and master the art of being happy. How about you, Virgo? Have you ever met regularly with an empath whose primary purpose is to listen to you and enhance your life? It's a perfect time to start giving yourself this necessary luxury. Or, if you're one of the lucky few who already has a skilled wise person working in service to them, it's a favorable time to dive deeper into the work. The astrological omens suggest that you now have the power to get more help than you've received before -- but you have to ask for it.

-freewillastrology.com

I know he enhances my life.

Permanent Record on DVD is released today and you know what else comes out?

H.R. freaking PUFNSTUF!!, the whole series.

Dude! You know, if David would have had a magical talking flute, he might not have taken that swan dive.

It's all about the bass, now.
I've got to get my Reeves on today. I've got the Australian wine and the coffee cup. I just need the groove.
Vibemechants are scheduled to record today and I still suck, in fact I seem to be getting WORSE if that's possible. It's because they took away my pick, I just know it. If you'll notice the new pics on the sidebar, you'll see Reeves playing with his fingers. They're there for a reason. Inspire me, thumper.

I think this spring is going to be all about the bass for Keanu as well. As far as I know, he's not due to start filming anything new for a bit so hopefully there will be some more becky dates in the next couple months, *cough*cometoVegas*cough*. And I plan on making a few of them, just to watch him play and check out his gear. I never bothered to really look closely before. In the past, I watched his hands move but I just followed their motion without really registering where they were landing. Of course, his face. It's really hard NOT to focus on the expressions he makes.

But next time, I'm not so much going to watch HIM play bass as I'm going to watch him PLAY BASS.

This picture is from one of Dogstar's summer shows in 2001, probably Summerfest. Below is a live track from that show.

I miss the way you smell
I miss the time we had
I pushed it to the end
I threw myself down again

I miss the light I miss the day
I'm on the ground I'm blown away
In a world that's gone I need another day
Blown away

I miss the way you stayed
I will return there someday
I pushed it to the end
I threw myself down again

I miss the light I miss the day
I'm on the ground I'm blown away
In a world that's gone I need another day
Blown away

Dogstar- Blown Away, live at Summerfest 2001

Now, I've got to get MY bass in gear and go rock out.

Have a great day!
\m/

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Happy Valentine Daze, Virgo! After careful meditation about what advice might purify and supercharge your love life, I'm making this suggestion: For one week, concentrate all your passion and ingenuity on learning to love yourself better. Write at least one love letter and one love poem to yourself. Treat yourself to pleasures that relax your intelligence and open your wild heart. Gaze in the mirror and whisper a flood of sweet nothings. Give yourself thoughtful, surprising gifts. And finally, propose marriage to yourself and perform a wedding ceremony in which you promise to cherish and honor yourself until the end of time.

from freewillastrology.com

If I had Keanu's email, this is the sort of thing that I would definitely forward to him.

In the duel with Laertes in the final scene of Hamlet, when Horatio says “You will lose, my lord”, Hamlet replies: “I shall win at the odds”.

But what are the odds?

The Odds Against Hamlet is an interesting article at the Times Literary Supplement where that complex question is asked and while it may not be conclusively answered, it sure explains why we don't have a Shakespearean-themed resort here in Vegas.....yet.

-via metafilter

The answer to the oft-asked question "what does Keanu smell like?" just might be Helmut Lang Cuiron Pour Homme, according to this article.

I think I may hit the sample counter on the way home tonight....

If Keanu Reeves were a shot I think he might be a "Chocolate Cake".

I'd like to think I'd feel a little bit better after doing him several times in one night, though.

Skits, Fran, Suzie and Tim, Chey, Joelle and Mikey are coming to Vegas this weekend.

I'm hoping that someone gets married...
(not me of course....)

Keanu's eyes shine. "I had this girlfriend," he begins. "This girl was just the most rockin' girl in the world you could have on the back of a bike because she was fuckin' fearless. One night, it was like 12:30, at the time I was practicing doing wheelies, and she said, 'let's go!' So we went on the freeway and it was just magic. She would grab me - she had these really great breasts and really long hair - and we had no helmets and no goggles and we were going like a hundred and thirty miles an hour on five lanes of freeway, with not a soul in sight. And this incredible cloudless moon just hangin' there." He sighs happily. "I've had some of the best times of my life on a motorcycle."

-Details Magazine, February 1989

Thanks to The Daily Thud for this fun picture from Premiere Magazine.

Get used to things being slow here on Wednesdays since this is the night I have bass lessons and I inevitably need to cram a bunch of practice in after slacking off most off the week for one reason or another...

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I rarely employ my mediumistic skills, but a host of spirits was just clamoring to address you this week. So I agreed to channel five of them, on the condition that they'd be brief and to the point. Here, then, are your advisors from the other side of the veil. First, Wernher von Braun: "Research is what you do when you don't know what you're doing." Second, A.A. Milne: "One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." Next, Ralph Waldo Emerson: "Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis." Casey Stengel: "You're lost but you're making good time." Harry S. Truman: "If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em."

-from freewillastrology.com

So, I'm sure most of you have heard that Keanu will be taping Bravo's "Inside the Actor's Studio" in New York on May 10.

In order to attend the taping you must subscribe to the whole series of seven, which I'm not sure you are still able to do because the series kicked off on January 26 with Kate Winslet. However, if you are in New York and have the means, you might check out the information found here, at the New School University's website.

From what I hear, taping can last for several hours which is then cut down to the hour long program. Host and dean of the Actors Studio Drama School, James Lipton "has sat down with some of the world's most accomplished actors and directors for penetrating, fascinating interviews. Lipton's studious research and enlightened curiosity has inspired his guests to open up and confess their deepest thoughts about the art of acting."

A traditional part of the Actor's Studio interview involves a "personality profile" comprised of the famous ten questions by Bernard Pivot.

I've listed them below and given my own answers...I wonder what Keanu's will be?

1. What is your favorite word?

-mocha
2. What is your least favorite word?

-goodbye
3. What turns you on?

-laughter
4. What turns you off?

-dishonesty
5. What sound or noise do you love?

-a great bassline
6. What sound or noise do you hate?

-a creature in pain
7. What is your favorite curse word?

-fuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkk
8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?

- rockstar
9. What profession other than yours would absolutely not like to attempt?

-anything that would necessitate carrying a firearm
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear god say when you arrive at the gates?

-"Hey, you did good. Would you like to go back and do it again?"

What are your answers?

--thanks to Wil Wheaton

Meh.

I don't see it.

(thanks kaz!)

I don't know where it originated, but have you ever seen the shorthand where the names of a couple are combined to form a single name, i.e., "Spuffy" and (ugh!)"Bennifer"?

It's actually very handy, and sometimes it just works. "TriNeo" "Robecca", even?

I believe it was Joelle that dubbed Fran and Wendy - "Frendy", which is so damn cute you can almost see the little bluebirds flying around it.

Sometimes you have to have to try a few combinations out.
"Jjaddie" is pretty lame, but "Fraks" kinda works.

As far as Keanu and I are concerned, I think "Keanix" sounds like a programming language, but "Krianu".....gosh, that just rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it?

So, if you and Keanu were so cute a couple that you went by one name, what would it be?

This sounds like a good way to get beaned with a box of milk duds.

"Moviegoers settling into their seats for "The Matrix Revolutions" in November were startled when actors scattered throughout the audience stood and delivered poetic lines timed to coincide with an ad on the screen for Nissan Motor Co."

- from an article at forbes.com

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Jack Nicklaus had more major tournament wins than any other golfer in history. Skill and practice were at the heart of his athletic prowess, but on at least one occasion he tapped into a more mysterious source of power. In 1973, he got into an uncharacteristic slump that had him stumped. Then one night he had a dream in which he experimented with a new grip on his clubs. When he went to the golf course the next morning, he tried the dream's suggestion. It worked; his funk ended. I hope you'll draw inspiration from Nicklaus' example, Virgo. If you start drawing a blank in your area of expertise, be willing to call on help you'd normally never seek -- maybe even the woo-woo kind.

-Brezsny's FreeWillAstrology

The Telegraph UK recognizes Wyld Stallyns along with Spinal Tap and Almost Famous' Stillwater as one of film's most memorable bands...

Bill S. Preston Esquire (Alex Winter) and Ted "Theodore" Logan (Keanu Reeves) were created by writer Chris Matheson as a withering parody of Californian surfer-cool, but he imbued them with so much charm that they became unlikely screen idols. Their two-man, Van Halen-inspired rock band Wyld Stallyns is the worst in history, bar none.

Only just before the end of Bogus Journey do they actually learn their craft. By this point, they've played "20 questions" in Hell and beaten Death himself at Clue. They end up saving mankind through the sheer power of rock.

\m/

So, I had my first bass lesson last night and the first thing Cliff (my teacher) did was take away my pick.

Then I got quizzed on what theory I remembered (I knew my dotted quarter notes, sharps, flats, etc. eighth rests threw me) went over what notes are in various chords and tried miserably to "play a B, now where else can you play it?, now where else?, now where else?" I have 4 songs (Little Wing, Kids are Alright and a couple others that you'd laugh at) for homework and have to work on my major scale fingering and excercise/stretch my left hand while getting my fingers walking on my right.

Oh and fifths. Sounds intimidating, actually easy.

Tonight I'm going to try and get through a whole vibemerchant practice without the pick, wish me luck.

Hee.
I love this.

Keanu's horoscope this week is sort of creepy, yet boring so I'm posting mine instead.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): For many male athletes, having sex before a big game is taboo. They believe it saps their energy and hurts their chances of winning. The coach of the Chinese Olympic ping-pong team has gone even further, banning his players from falling in love. In my opinion, this approach is crazy and wrong. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, the best way for you to prime yourself for your upcoming moment of truth is by enjoying as much sweet affection and erotic delight as you dare.

Cripes.
Even Brezsny knows I need to get laid.

I Wanna Be Your Dog - Iggy Pop and the Stooges*

So messed up I want you here
In my room I want you here
Now we're gonna be face-to-face
And I'll lay right down in my favorite place
And now I wanna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Well c'mon
Now I'm ready to close my eyes
And now I'm ready to close my mind
And now I'm ready to feel your hand
And lose my heart on the burning sands
And now I wanna be your dog
And now I wanna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Well c'mon

*I originally posted these lyrics last July, I'm reposting with a couple more pics and adding the track to the K-mix...

Thanks to POTD for this picture and link to a filmstew.com article on this new American in London project. Unsurprisingly, Erwin Stoff will also be producing.

The only other info I know on this project, that perhaps the character is a successful chef (?), comes from Lanfear in the comments of this entry (thank you again). I know that some people, myself included, thought he might be playing an actor but this is much more interesting. Maybe there's cooking scenes involved and who wouldn't want to see him in action in the kitchen? Besides, if he played an actor wouldn't it be just like Lost In Translation only without the need for the translating? Speaking of which, I still need to see that movie. Did you know that Keanu is thanked in the credits? I wonder if at some point he inspired Sofia Coppola with some anecdotes of his Suntory days?

It's been a while since I've shared a ridiculous recockulous* eBay purchase on the blog. Mostly because I've been very good and haven't really made any. Ok, but not that many.

Shut up.

How could I pass up a nine inch Ortiz the Dogboy? Evidently, no one else wanted the Guevarian mongrel and if I hadn't bid he would have gone to the pound. I figure he'll only increase in value once Freaked comes out on DVD.

Also, I need something to take my mind off the fact that Wee Neo has apparently gotten a touch of wanderlust since Seattle and last I saw of him he was mumbling something about passport photos and frequent flyer miles. Who better than a hybrid of man's best friend and a sex god?

OK, I just really wanted the doll.

*We strive to be on the linguistic cutting edge here at keanuvision.

*cough*

Today I'm teaching myself the bassline to Velvet Underground's Femme Fatale.

Google News search: Keanu.

Find Keanu in The Picture of Everything - Thanks, Rhonda.

Brezsney tries to corrupt us all this week...

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I predict that 2004's mysterious gifts will free you from your old self. At least one of your inhibitions will disappear. Attacks of self-consciousness will diminish in frequency and intensity. You'll realize how fun it is to rebel against your antiquated image. The only new taboo you might take on is a taboo against imitating the overused shticks that have worked for you in the past. Because of these explosive improvements in your relationship with brash spontaneity, you may be ready to acquire your *porn name.* Here are two suggestions about how to generate the new moniker. 1. Combine the name of your first pet with the name of the street where you lost your virginity. 2. Go to www.mypornname.com and follow the directions.

Following suggestion # 1, I'm "GiGi Lindell"
My web generated porn name is "Honey Hills".

In other news, my bass came today (yay!) so expect light blogging for a bit.

Come to think of it, Fender Mustang is a GREAT porn name.

Keanu's Scrabble© Score is: 9.
What's yours? Get it here.

(via metafilter)

Excerpt from:
Beyond the Bass Clef:
The Life and Art of Bass Playing
by Tony Levin

In the beginning there was a bass. It was a Fender, probably a Precision, but it could have been a Jazz - nobody knows. Anyway, it was very old ... definitely pre-C.B.S.

And God looked down upon it and saw that it was good. He saw that it was very good in fact, and couldn't be improved on at all (though men would later try.) And so He let it be and He created a man to play the bass.

And lo the man looked upon the bass, which was a beautiful 'sunburst' red, and he loved it. He played upon the open E string and the note rang through the earth and reverberated throughout the firmaments (thus reverb came to be.) And it was good. And God heard that it was good and He smiled at his handiwork.

Then in the course of time, the man came to slap upon the bass. And lo it was funky.

And God heard this funkiness and He said, "Go man, go." And it was good.

And more time passed, and, having little else to do, the man came to practice upon the bass. And lo, the man came to have upon him a great set of chops. And he did play faster and faster until the notes rippled like a breeze through the heavens.

And God heard this sound which sounded something like the wind, which He had created earlier. It also sounded something like the movement of furniture, which He hadn't even created yet, and He was not so pleased. And He spoke to the man, saying "Don't do that!"

Now the man heard the voice of God, but he was so excited about his new ability that he slapped upon the bass a blizzard of funky notes. And the heavens shook with the sound, and the Angels ran about in confusion. (Some of the Angels started to dance, but that's another story.)

And God heard this - how could He miss it - and lo He became Bugged. And He spoke to the man, and He said, "Listen man, if I wanted Jimi Hendrix I would have created the guitar. Stick to the bass parts."

And the man heard the voice of God, and he knew not to mess with it. But now he had upon him a passion for playing fast and high. The man took the frets off of the bass which God had created. And the man did slide his fingers upon the fretless fingerboard and play melodies high upon the neck. And, in his excitement, the man did forget the commandment of the Lord, and he played a frenzy of high melodies and blindingly fast licks. And the heavens rocked with the assault and the earth shook, rattled and rolled.

Now God's wrath was great. And His voice was thunder as He spoke to the man.

And He said, "O.K. for you, pal. You have not heeded My word. Lo, I shall create an soprano saxophone and it shall play higher than you can even think of."

"And from out of the chaos I shall bring forth the drums. And they shall play so many notes thine head shall ache, and I shall make you to always stand next to the drummer."

"You think you're loud? I shall create a stack of Marshall guitar amps to make thine ears bleed. And I shall send down upon the earth other instruments, and lo, they shall all be able to play higher and faster than the bass."

"And for all the days of man, your curse shall be this; that all the other musicians shall look to you, the bass player, for the low notes. And if you play too high or fast all the other musicians shall say "Wow" but really they shall hate it. And they shall tell you you're ready for your solo career, and find other bass players for their bands. And for all your days if you want to play your fancy licks you shall have to sneak them in like a thief in the night."

"And if you finally do get to play a solo, everyone shall leave the bandstand and go to the bar for a drink."

And it was so.

I know, hard to believe I'm milking this event for content well into the new year, but since I received the December Newsletter from SCORE, I figured I'd share the pic and article since it gives a full listing of the teams.

3rd Annual Celebrity Hockey Game by Sean Gjos
Keanu Reeves, Cuba Gooding Jr., Rob Blake, Luc Robitaille. These are just a few of the Hollywood celebrities and NHL players that generously participated in the 3" Annual SCORE Celebrity Hockey Game.

This year's event, held at the Los Angeles Kings practice facility at the Health South Training Center in El Segundo, CA was watched by a capacity crowd of all ages. The fans were treated to a fast-paced game with excellent plays at both ends of the ice.

In between periods, SCORE volunteer Mike Siegel presided over a human bowling contest which used a giant sling-shot to catapult contestants down the ice into large foam bowling pins - a big crowd favorite!!

SCORE was fortunate to have substantial media coverage of the event ESPN, Extra! and City-TV (Santa Monica, CA) ran television segments on the celebrity game. In addition, USAToday.com posted a lengthy article on its website.

The SCORE is grateful for the support provided by the NHL, the Los Angeles Kings and Mission Hockey. The SCORE team extends special thanks to Daryl Evans and Alex Axsen for their hard work, and to Lisa Fooc (emcee) and Rob Blake (who gratefully donated t-shirts for the SCORE volunteers). We are also indebted to the many volunteers who helped out, including Tracy Schoreack Candice Zee, Jeff Zanarini, John Thvedt, Pat Masson and the UCLA Hockey Team as well as many others.

The line-ups for the game were as follows:

Team White

Rob Blake - Colorado Avalanche
Rachel Blanchard - Actress - Clueless, Rood Trip, Sugar and Spice
Kip Brennan - Los Angeles Kings
Steve Carell - Comedian - Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Daryl Evans - former LA Kings
Aaron Fitzgerald - CBS-TV
Cuba Gooding Jr. - Actor - Pearl Harbor, Radio, Jerry McGuire
Paul Guilfoyle - Actor - CSI
Alexi Lalas - Professional soccer player/Musician
Keanu Reeves - Actor/Musician - Matrix trilogy, becky band
Luc Robitaille - Los Angeles Kings
Mathieu Schneider - Detroit Red Wings
Iraj Dowlatshahi - Disney Goals
Les Gonzales - Disney Goals
Daniel Lopez - Disney Goals

Team Green
Chris Drury - Buffalo Sabres
Nelson Emerson - former LA Kings
Brendan Fehr - Actor - Roswell
Jay Harrington Actor - Coupling, The Division
Ken Jordan - Musician - Crystal Method
Paulie Kosta - Musician - becky band
Marty Mc Sorley - former LA Kings
Glen Murray - Boston Bruins
Ken Olandt - Actor and producer
Robyn Regehr - Calgary Flames
Chris Simon - New York Rangers
D B.Sweeney - Actor - Cutting Edge
AlanThicke - Actor/Producer - Growing Pains
Joe Carlone - Entertainment Representative
Frank Cardona - Disney Goals
Grace Cardona - Disney Goals
Luis Castro - Disney Goals

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Pope Jean Paul II has canonized 477 new saints, exceeding the total of the last 86 popes combined. His secret? Previously, candidates had to have performed three miracles, whereas now it's two at most. Other saint-makers have been inspired by the Pope's example. The Church of the Subgenius is creating an average of 2,100 new saints per year (non-Catholic variety), while the Discordians are close behind with 1,875. I'm embarrassed to say that my own faith, the Temple of Sacred Uproar and Rowdy Blessings, has been lagging far behind -- until now, that is. In honor of the miraculous feats of beauty, truth, and love that "Free Will Astrology"-reading Virgos have been pulling off lately, I hereby bestow sainthood on every one of you. You may hereafter put a "St." in front of your name.

-Rob Brezsny, FreeWillAstrology

Thanks to Spike, for this cute comic that she customized a bit to remind us of someone....

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): One of your most wonderful qualities is your aptitude for helping people. It's also the part of your nature that is most likely to be abused by charming narcissists and charismatic manipulators. But in 2004, you will have a knack for freeing yourself from these oppressors. You'll be able to spot potential new ones from a mile away, and you'll know how to break the hold that the old ones have on you. Take this pledge now: "I will serve only the smart, effective people who also serve me."

From freewillastrology.com

-My Hawaiian name is Kilikina, I'm going to guess that Keanu's is...um, Keanu....
What's yours?
(thanks r.j.girl)

-Also, thanks to Nadia, who found a couple nice pics of Keanu at Hollywood.com's Year in Pictures feature (you have to click around a bit), and to Michelle who sent the link to Dogstar's page at the William Morris site, that has a HUGE promo photo from the early days with Keanu looking about 14, Bret looking like a boy to fall in love with, and Rob looking like he's in a police lineup.

I'm actually not the making resolutions type. This is an improvement on being the making then breaking resolutions type, which I think we can all relate to.

I suppose I should try and be more organized this year. I still need to sort the thousands of image files on my machine, but I really feel it's time for a replacement anyway, plus what I really need to do is spend a little less time on the computer, because I'm starting to develop a little wrist/hand thing in my mouse hand.

See? This is why it's pointless for me to make resolutions.

If I do, I am going to follow skits' lead and make ones that are easy to keep.

So, in 2004 I resolve to...adore and admire Keanu Reeves.

____________________________________________

In the hype-proclaimed Year of The Matrix, I was happy to Take the Red Pill, but I refused to be spoiled or to be Warner Brothers' bitch.
I was, however, Joel's for the taking. Ultimately, none of my suck-uppery did any good, and the only way I got to the Reloaded Premiere was in my dreams.

You'd think the high point of the year would be seeing Keanu in person and shaking his hand, and while that was definitely not sucky, it's really just one of the outstanding memories I have of 2003.

With the release of Reloaded, traffic jumped, and I stressed out over bandwidth and down time. The solution was an upgrade and I can't express how grateful I am to you all for the success of the virtual garage sale to cover the expense and then some. Some of that surplus went to finally get a scanner which is fun to play with and also enhanced my creative output immensely, and some was spent on something I never thought I'd have the chance to experience...

I got to see Keanu Reeves play hockey. That rawked.

What else?....

2003 saw the end (no pun intended)of Ass Friday, but the beginning of the Keanu Mix project.

And speaking of music, it seems that the light from the Dogstar finally flickered out this year.

But, Keanu thumps on, with becky, and I've been very fortunate to be able to see them live a few times.

2003 was quite the year for Keanu as well, in addition to the new band and the promotion for Reloaded and Revolutions he shot Something's Gotta Give, and Thumbsucker and of course, is currently working on Constantine.

Ah, Constantine.
Thanks to Keanu being in this film I've not only spent over a hundred dollars on freaking comic books, but I've met some intelligent and interesting blokes at the Straight-to-Hell Hellblazer forums. I've also grown increasingly enthusiastic about the film, while growing to love the comic as well. Waffles anyone?

I know that I've missed some things so feel free to point out any egregious omissions or just your favorite memory of 2003 in the comments.

Most of all it's just been a great year of Keanu-luv and friendship.
I don't see how 2004 will be able to improve on this year, but somehow I know it will.

And I'm looking forward to it.

Have I told you all lately that you fucking RAWK? \m/

You do.
So very much.

Happy New Year.

*smooooch*

According to a highly scientific survey done by Blockbuster Video, Keanu comes in 3rd place with a mere 15% of the vote for who people want as their fantasy date for New Year's Eve.

Nearly a third of people who haven't discovered the joys of Netflix would watch the ball drop with Ashton Kutcher, with Johnny Depp coming in second.

Ah well, I seriously doubt Keanu will be dateless on Wednesday night unless he wants to be.

What I want to know is WHO the hell wants to date Arnold?

eek.

(Thanks Tyler)

I'll be locking myself away this weekend in order to quit my 18-ball-a-day rumball habit. Don't try to coax me out with promises of meaningless sex, because we all know you're just being sarcastic.

I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and got everything they wanted.
Aside from a deviating-from-traditional-pannetone-for-some-tiramasu-abomination-that-got-cocoa-powder-everywhere fiasco, mine was lovely.

And I'd like to say that my niece and nephew ROCK.

Do they know their aunt krix or what?

Holiday tips from krix:

• Too busy to bake? Go buy some Pier 1 vanilla buttercream candles or scented spray to give your kitchen a yummy smell that will fool everyone....until they ask for a cookie, anyway.
  
• Stop into every Starbucks you pass and have a gingerbread latte while you can.
  
• That pimple in your ear? DON'T MESS WITH IT, you'll only make it worse (this actually applies all year).
  
• Make smart dinner choices, consider Turducken.
  
• If you have last-minute shopping to do, listen to Dtracor (aka Eric) song - Merry Christmas - to get you all riled up to brave the crowds.
  
• The capacity to give a damn if the tree is straight and the lights are all working is in exact inverse proportion to the number of rum balls consumed.
  
• If you are Keanu Reeves, please read the title of this entry again. Don't worry, it's not like there's a subliminal message in it or anything.
  

And most of all, have a rawkin' holiday! \m/

*smoooooch!*

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Some of the finest minds I've ever known have belonged to Virgos. I've benefited greatly from your tribe's analytical power. Though my gig as an astrology columnist may suggest I favor magical thinking over the logical kind, I am in fact a great admirer of the scientific method and objective reasoning. Having said all that, I can in good conscience tell you to trust your passion way more than usual in 2004. Cut out this quote from Ray Bradbury and carry it in your wallet: "If we listened only to our intellect, we'd never have a love affair or friendship. We'd never go into business. Well, that's nonsense. Sometimes you've got to jump off cliffs and grow your wings on the way down."

-from freewillastrology.com

Last night, I dreamt I was in a deleted scene from SGG, in which I got to sit across a diner booth/table from a blue t-shirted Dr. Julian and watch him drink a coke from a frosty glass bottle.

Yeaaaaahhh.

Does anyone know the name of the restaurant in Paris in Something's Gotta Give?

Brian asked in the comments of this entry, he'd like to suprise his wife and I thought we could help him out.

All together now:

Awwwwwwwwwwww!

Update: Melissa comes through..

Le Grand Colbert

And there is info and some production photos, captions en francais, at this site.

Here's one with Keanu in it....

Thanks to everyone in the comments for the info and translations.

You guys roq.

Shopping wasn't so bad last night actually.
I managed to get several things crossed off my list.

So of course I had to treat myself to something.

The trend this season of monograms and initials is going to be my financial ruin. I love things with K's on them, and this pre-dates my Keanu fandom, since it's my initial too.

So, last night when I saw these adorable camisole/underwear separates with pink embroidered monograms I had to splurge.

And there's nothing to do while waiting in line to pay for underwear than fantasize about the adventures you'll have whilst wearing it right?

Keanu? He just can't stand it anymore. He must meet the hilarious girl from keanuvision. Phone calls are made. A dinner date is set.

Steaks are consumed, along with much fine wine (I defer to his selection and am not disappointed).

Of course we hit it off smashingly, as I'm not intimidated by his brilliance or his success. How great is that for him?

We rush through our after-dinner cappucinos (what? you think I'd skip it? this is my fantasy after all) in order to get somplace where we can get naked. Once we have our privacy he can't keep those big ol' bass playing paws off of me. He kisses down my neck and then stops as the pink embroidered K shows itself, just above my heart. I get a quizzical look.

"Hello? Conceited much?" I remind him that my name also begins with a K. He gives a little blush and closes his eyes, gives a little headshake then smiles.

More yummy make-out goodness and then I feel my attention being called by a slightly whiskered chin grinding into my hipbone. I look down and see the brown-eyed boy showing me an R stitched in pink on my underwear . He's holding the corner up by his teeth, and again with the look.

I blink.
He raises his eyebrow.

I smile. "Oh.....that. Um.....yeah, that's totally for Reeves".

Last year, I posted my Keanu-themed take on the classic, 'The Twelve days of Christmas', and I'm doing it again this year.

But, we're not going to call it "krix gave up on writing a tribute to Neo's thighs to the tune of 'Jingle Bells' so we get the '12 Days' thing again...."

We're going to call it TRADITION.

And in the spirit of giving, I give to you my dear friends, my complete humiliation for your amusement.

My mother, upon leaving the theater after seeing Something's Gotta Give last night:

(spoiler below)

"Well the good thing is, Dr. Julian's still single!"

Hee.

But I'm officially sick of the commercials.

Has everyone already been to a matinee showing of Something's Gotta Give, yet? I'm actually going to have to wait until tomorrow to see it, since we're jamming tonight. (Roi and Dave are making me sing Nico songs. It's quite amusing.)

Anyway, I'm going to take my mom to a matinee tomorrow. She'll love it.

Speaking of love, who else felll completely in love with him again on Leno last night? (I was almost late for work this morning, rewatching the tape) I think my favorite moment is him saying "Am I a grown-up?" right after running his hand through his hair and making it stick up, looking like the glorious goofball he is.

That smile melts me, and my god, he's funny.

Club-Keanu has a transcript of the interview up and will likely have more captures soon, as well.

And congrats to Chicks and the Club on having over 1000 registered members! \m/
That a lot of Keanu-luv :)

Just a reminder that Keanu will be on Leno tonight.

The Spoof.com has decided to take a radical approach in its effort to become one of the top humor destinations on the net by completely eliminating the funny from their extensive website.

"We know that a lot of people like to surf the web at work and we thought that if we reduced the chance of a reader actually - you know - laughing at one of our articles, then we might start getting some of that traffic from dangerously funny sites like The Onion."

A prime example of The Spoof's new cutting-edge unfunny humor is the flaccid ''Keanu Reeves Named Greatest Ever'' by author Brendan Shumway. Brendan couldn't speak to us for fear it would jinx his upcoming interview with The Tracy Morgan Show, but we did get a few words out of his brother, Gordon:

"What Brendan does here is really raising the bar of the new unfunny humor trend. He takes what looks like a generic article heralding an actor's accomplishment and then plugs the name 'Keanu Reeves' in. Get it? The irony! Because of the old 'Keanu can't act' thing, right? But the genius of Brendan is that this particular schtick is so played that it can't possibly be funny! Nope! No chance of your cube-mate hearing you giggle here. And he doesn't muck it up with that over-effusiveness like Whatever-Dude, either. It's really typical dry sarcasm, but while some people make that funny, Brendan is able to keep that from happening."

When asked if the whole article wasn't really just a cheap shot, Gordon Shumway defended his brother by saying, "Cheap shot? Nah...it's not like he's making fun of someone's last name or anything."

Hollywood.com has a SGG cast interview clip up with a glimpse of Keanu.

Also, Romantic Movies.com has a Keanu interview up.

becky! is featured in the 2003 year end issue of "Hit Parader" magazine.

Thanks to Paulie, Nadia and the POTD club

Thanks Keanuette for this article that indicates that Keanu might be taking to the ice for some charity games this February.

[Doug] Gilmour made his surprise remarks after earlier announcing that he and another former Leaf captain, Rick Vaive, will team up with TV and movie stars for a two-game hockey series to benefit charity.

The Hollywood All-Stars will play on Feb.7 at Copps Coliseum in Hamilton and on the following night at the new Ricoh Coliseum at the CNE grounds.

The series hopes to raise $600,000 for charity. Tickets will range from $10 to $50 at Copps and a flat rate of $44 at Ricoh.

Actor Keanu Reeves and former world champion figure skater Elvis Stojko of Richmond Hill will also play in the games.

The chief benefactor will be St. Joseph's Health Centre in Toronto. Money will also be donated to Shoot for a Cure, Sunshine Dreams for Kids and the Anemia Institute Foundation.

They must fear the goaltending greatness of him.

I blame the evil D.B. Sweeney.

Or maybe they figure that having both Kiefer and Keanu is a good way to melt the ice before the game even starts. Rwowwwrrrr.....

Anyhoo, this info is from Paulie, so I am going to assume that he's playing.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The Chilean Congress has recently considered a bill that would mandate afternoon siestas for all workers. As a nap activist who has lobbied long and hard for everyone to get more dream time, I cheered this revolutionary proposal. Now I'm asking you, Virgo, to join me in the struggle to gain even more sleepers' rights. What specific action can you take? For starters, spend more time asleep and dreaming in the coming week than you ever have -- and don't let any workaholic, sleep-deprived cranky-head shame you for it. Your productivity will rise; I guarantee it. (P.S. The astrological moment is also
ripe for you to rise up against the tyranny of Type A overachievers who think everyone should be as addicted to stress as they are.)

-from freewillastrology.com

Whee! Seattle rawked. I LOVE Eric and had the best time.
I'm going to have major vivace withdrawals tomorrow. We did SO MUCH!

Neo had fun too.

He kept me distracted doing DeNiro impressions ("You talkin' to me?") while I waited for the plane.

Neo also was happy to pose with random strangers (Hi Shelly and Nick!) in the airport bar. You'll notice they were smart and did not get the fifteen dollar cocktail (Which was good, but the buzz calming attributes did not last the flight).

Eric lives in this great loft apartment with roof access. Neo re-enacted the original rooftop scene. Of course, Wee Neo is...well, wee, so I declined to dangle from a rope and let him pull me back up; Lovely view of downtown, though.

We went to Pike Place. The Real World Seattle (Rebecca's season) house was nearby, but we didn't bother to go there.
The guy at Pike Place Fish was happy to pose with The One. He even showed us how to dodge fish.

I have no idea whose ass that is, but here's Neo on the snout of the famous Pike Place pig.

Hee. How funny is this? It's like they knew I was coming to town. How could I not shop there?

We went to the marina at night. The place was deserted and kind of spooky. I half expected the body of David Allen Griffin to pop out of the water at any moment.

We also saw the famous Fremont Troll. He's the opposite of wee. Neo was unafraid.

Late night, MC One busts a move in the DJ booth of the Club. Shake it like a polaroid baby.

More sightseeing, we went to the Tacoma Museum of Glass, which was sort of dull except for the glass blowing demo. I kept Neo in my bag for that, for fear he'd think the glory hole was The Source. We did cross the Chihuly Bridge of Glass, which isn't actually made of glass but is pretty nonetheless.

Too bad Dojo didn't come. The Seattle Japanese Garden was lovely.

Rawk! Neo was too wee to play the drums at Eric's rehearsal space. We did do something there, though....but that's a suprise for later.

Neo hung with Jimi on Broadway.
Speaking of Jimi, we also went to EMP, the Experience Music Project and saw all kinds of Seattle music memorabilia including handritten lyrics by Hendrix and Kurt Cobain. We also drove by the house Ann and Nancy Wilson grew up in and by Kurt's house on the way to the Japanese Garden. That was a little creepy.

We ate out nearly every night, and the food was amazing. Last night, Neo enjoyed some chips and salsa at ¡Cactus!
If you ever go there, have the cowgirl brownie for dessert. It's orgasmic.

Getting up at 6am to be at the airport this morning was NO FUN AT ALL.
And we were both very sad to leave.

Wee Neo travels well, though. I need to be a bit bolder about getting people to pose with him, I think. Which means I need to take more trips!

But it's good to be home for now.

Dude, if you're in town, you should call me.

I know we're both really busy but I can try and squeeze you in.

Um...for a drink or something.

Heh.
Of all the things that I made Eric pull over for so I could take a picture, he rolled his eyes the hardest at this one.

I'm home. Safe and sound.
Lots to do and catch up on.
Wee Neo's adventure in Seattle pics later.

Safe Home (right click and save mp3)

I've been down this road once or twice before
through the open door
i come falling through it
there's a sign post up ahead
like a watershed
and it opens my eyes
ways, for me to begin
to be born again
and knowing for the first time
ways, all so differently
shine for me to see
the better man that I am

I've been places in my head
behind me worse than what's ahead
and on my path just like a dream
takes me from the inbetween
from out of nowhere you came strong as stone
and now I'll never have to be alone
what it is I know

you have always been my safe home
I walk, I run, I burn out into you
you have always been my safe home
my whole world has moved on

i know what i am and I'll always be
your reality, is better than I could dream
all my fears turn from black to white
and i'd stand and fight
the whole world for you
faith, and destiny
I never did believe
my only god is love and
faith, what I see in you
and I can hold it true
like a weight in my hand.

~Anthrax, from the CD -We've Come for You All

Hey from Seattle!

I have a minute so I thought I would say 'Hi' and I'm having a great time. We ate Thanksgiving dinner at a restaurant but it wasn't so bad, no waiting - no dishes. Eric had to DJ last night so I was recruited to run the camera for his club's "Show us your Stuff" stripping contest. Nothing beats pumpkin pie like drunk men dropping trou to Missy Elliott. Wee Neo got to do a little pole dancing but totally blew his chance to have his picture taken with the glorious Diva Delish. Maybe next time ;)

Well, I'm going to head across the street for a soy latte, my new drink of choice.

First off, thank you to Irene for this beautiful image.
He's the perfect angel to watch over me as I fly the friendly skies tonight.

I'm sure I'll be fine.....or drunk......whichever.
Seriously, thank you so much to everyone for your wishes and pep talks.

I really feel lucky to know such kindness.

I've so much to be thankful for this year, everything and more than last year even.

Of course, I'm thankful for my health and my family and friends. I'm thankful for the orange kitty that sleeps at my feet and the calico one that sleeps on my head. I'm thankful for the Station Wagon because it gets me to see friends, rock out and have fun in the coolest way...with a kickass sound system.

I also can't say enough how thankful I am that this site continues to attract the most wonderfully kind, intelligent, talented and respectful people.

I'm thankful that I've quit smoking, and started playing guitar again.

I'm thankful for Keanu's bass and his belly scar and for his dedication and talent and character....

And for the inspiration he gives me to create, to push my own limits and to try and be the best I can be, every day.

I'm thankful and so very proud to be a fan.

I wish him and all of you an abundance of things to be thankful for in the coming year.

Ooooh, Club-Keanu has some lovely new pictures of Keanu, who's in New York doing press for Something's Gotta Give. He's just yummy in the chocolatey brown suit and (new?)shoes.

So speaking of chocolate, you know who RAWKS?

Julie Does.

I got a fabulous care package to help me with my fear of flying from her yesterday, all the way from Amsterdam. Along with a Kustom Keanu enhanced survival handbook, something with eyes that wiggle, and other very cool things, she also sent me.....Chocolate K-E-A-N-U!

I plan on savoring every nibble and making it last a long time. Or at least until the stewardess flight attendant starts pouring the wine.

Heh.

I used to read MAD magazine. I think it's responsible for me deveolping the typically "masculine" habit of reading in the bathroom. My brother left a few of them when he moved away to college and I would have to sneak to read them because my mom really didn't think the humor was appropriate for a 9 year old girl.

And somehow reading it on the toilet seemed "appropriate".

The movie spoofs were always funny (my god, do I remember the Star Wars one? Ack! I'm old...) although I'm sure a lot of the humor went over my head at that age. I do know that I loved the Don Martin cartoons. Oh! and Spy vs. Spy. Hee!

Is this issue still on the stands? Man, it's been well over 20 years since I last read an issue of MAD. I may have to use this Matrix spoof as an excuse to spend some extra time in the bathroom again.

KEANU: NOTHING MY FANS DO IS STRANGE

The Matrix superstar Keanu Reeves has been in the movie business so long, he doesn't find obsessive behaviour by his fans shocking anymore.

The hunky actor - who shot to fame in comedy caper Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure - is aware that big event films like The Matrix and its two sequels can turn into a way of life for some devotees, and finds their fascination amusing.

He says, "People do Matrix costume parties and get Matrix tattoos and that sort of thing.

"But there was a breakfast cereal called Bill and Ted's Excellent Cereal named after that movie, so nothing seems that strange anymore."

First off, a Matrix dress-up party sounds really cool.

Why, yes. I have DOGSTAR license plates, and a Keanu film t-shirt collection (which I really need to do an updated inventory of), and yeah there's this little website thing but can you really call that obsessive?

Nahhhh....

It's quirky! It's a healthy interest, it's sexier than beanie babies or NASCAR.

And frankly, eddieshirt is so comfy I would sleep with him anyway.

Everyone needs a hobby. Keanu fandom is mine and it's been good to me. I've met the greatest people and had the best time supporting him and his career and interests. Being a Keanu fan changed my life. You can just read this site and see the friendships and recount the events that testify to that.

I sometimes get a little peevy when people who don't understand a fandom throw around words like "obsessed" or my least favorite, "rabid". So what if my idea of a perfect trip is to go see his band play and not to some football game or to climb some rock? Yeah, I'm a grown woman and have a Neo doll on my dashboard.

Bite me.

Keanu's cool with it and so am I.

You are Ted Logan from Bill and Ted's Excellent
Adventure. Rock on Dude!


Which Keanu Reeves Character Are You?(with pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

Heh, I hate these quiz things, but this one's on-topic...

....eddieshirt really wants this for Christmas.

It's a nostalgia thing.

By the way, eddieshirt and I? We're sleeping together again.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): My reading of your astrological omens suggests that you are now standing before three doors. The word "scapegoat" is written on door number one. "Chameleon" is on door two and "weaver" on door three. What you do in the next six days will determine whether you'll ultimately have a choice about which door you open. If you do succeed in winning that privilege, I advise you to pick the "weaver" door sometime after November 22. Selecting the "chameleon" door wouldn't be terrible, but it wouldn't be half as stimulating.

From freewillastology.com

Of course, I picked up a copy of the Revolutions Soundtrack for myself yesterday. It looks like Don Davis is going to be our generation's John Williams.

Listening to a film score while doing your everyday things puts a whole new emotional perspective in them. It makes every red light on the way to work a chance to pause in poignant thought.

"Trinity Definitely" was playing as I reached the bottom of an exit ramp to find a swirling display of loose newspaper pages dancing in the wind above the intersection. Had I been listening to something more contemporary I may not have even noticed, or I would have just seen it as trash and a traffic hazard, but instead it was actually a beautiful moment for me.

The folks behind me? Not so much.
A few honks got me rolling again, still lost in the music.

Then, just as my eyes were starting to well up, the track changed to "Neodämmerung".

Now, I'm not sure that which of Jack's Ultimate Salads I chose for lunch was crucial to human existence or not, but I felt I had to choose carefully. Of course part of me already knew what I was going to choose. The Chicken Club. I'd seen this all play out before.

Today is National Men Make Dinner Day.

I sometimes wonder if Keanu cooks (if he ever has the time) and what his speciality might be.

Similar to the notion that you can tell by the way a man interacts with animals what kind of father he might be, I believe the care and attention he puts into creating a meal is a good indication of his lovemaking skills.

I like to imagine that Keanu would serve up several luscious and creative courses, with an extremely rich and satisfying meat entree, followed by two, maybe three desserts.

OK, I have a major thing that I have to deal with at work before I can even begin to collect a coherent thought about seeing Revolutions.

I wanted to post this though: if you haven't seen the movie yet, consider that clicking on the comments of any entry from today (and on) may contain spoilers of some sort. It's just the nature of discussing the movie.

Any actual entries I get to today will be safe here - on the main page, but there may be spoilers in the extended entry, and the whole thing will show up if you click to comment.

I'll be back.

You know you're a true-blue Keanu Reeves fan when you develop "the radar".

I usually sleep with the TV on, and this morning I woke up at 5:38 (naturally, not cat-induced) and caught a repeat airing of Access Hollywood just in time to see whatshisname talking to Keanu outside one of the premieres (Sydney, I think...I was still groggy). I stayed up for a little bit watching some local news and then let myself fall back asleep, since I'd set the VCR to tape the Today show. I wasn't looking forward to scanning the three hour program later for his appearance but I really do love to sleep so I snuggled in and dozed off again.

[tangent] I ended up dreaming about someone wanting to borrow my Reloaded DVD to watch and I couldn't find it, all I could find were clear discs. It turned out that my father had borrowed it and was arguing with me that it didn't make any sense. I vividly remember trying to follow him up an escalator crowded with people calling after him "It's like all this is a dream, and you wake up from it to a completely different world and all of this never existed." Which is very meta when you think about it, especially compounded by the fact that right afterward....I woke up. [/tangent]

Wrong!
"Coming up, blah blah blah Matrix something something, Keanu Reeves!" quipped Katie, her voice only slightly betraying her jealousy that Lauer got to do the interview...

The interview itself was brief. His sleepy, velvety voice was better than the cream in my coffee. He's got new shoes and the way he holds his feet continues to make my own toes curl.
To bastardize Rumi, God made krix love Keanu so much, just his feet could cause confusion in her.

They showed the fighting in the rain clip.
OK, this was the first time I haven't averted my eyes for this clip and good god.
It. Was. Beautiful.
The movement, the fight choreography, everything. Perfect. I'm so excited.

Eighteen hours left until Revolutions.

I wonder if I'll be able to sleep at all tonight.

(update - thanks Keanuette for a better link. You can watch the video and there's also a pretty good and lengthy article as well.)

I hate air travel, but I booked a flight today to go to Seattle to see my best friend Eric (the only other person besides Keanu that I would even consider getting on a plane for) over Thanksgiving. And I'm not even going to be a wussy girl about the flying aka "being in a big metal thing that really is too heavy to be in the sky and my god was that bourbon on the pilot's breath? and wait a minute! you didn't check my shoes for bombs, did you check everyone elses? I'm not getting on the plane until you check my shoes! Augh!"

Ahem....oh, sorry.

Because once again, Keanu is an inspiration for living my life better. He has been fearlessly flying around the world to attend Revolutions premieres. And I bet he doesn't even flinch during takeoff....unlike me.

I believe he's in Japan today.

And before that, Sydney.

Look! How cute when he waves!
Hi Baby! I miss you! Come home safe and sound soon!

I know that it's part of the job, and might even look glamorous to some, but can you imagine flying around the world in just a few days? It must get to be quite a blur after a while, between jet lag and the press, asking mostly the same questions wherever you go. And I can't even fathom what it must be like to deal with scenes like this.

It's yet another reason why I love and admire him so much.

No sooner had we reached the Star Trek Experience and Neo infiltrated the lair of the Borg Queen...

That lost its appeal pretty fast, so he went to meet Marcie(still dressed for Halloween!) and then hit the bar for a martini....

Of course, once you get a drunk systemal anomaly on your hands, he's everybody's friend. Here he is telling Rahn the Ferengi "I love you man! hic!"
I think he may have hit on the waitress as well.

Along with some pretty creatively named drinks on the menu, there were such items as a HamBORGer and The Wrap of Khan. Heh. (I tried to take a pic of the menu, but it didn't turn out)
I had a tasty Salad of Kalasas or something, it tasted a lot like chicken caesar.
Neo surveyed the carnage and let Alan pick up the tab.

I tried to explain the causality of mixing liquors, but he gave me the finger and headed for the door. I should have left him in the box of tribbles (spank them!) in the gift shop, but seeing as how one of those tall glasses was mine, I figured I needed my co-pilot.

The One sure had a good time, and I did too :)
Thanks and smooches to Marcie and Alan! Here's wishing them a safe, less-than-10-hour trip back home to LA!

I'm getting ready to go meet Marcie of Dogs Don't Purr at Quark's Bar for some midday cocktails of the Romulan Ale variety. I might be smuggling little co-pilot Neo in to intimidate some Klingons.

I would take Lobby or Dojo, but they are too busy mocking and playing mind games with Real World Neo, aka "Dickie" for his bad hair and worse fashion sense.

I would have introduced "Dickie" (a cruel nickname, foisted on him by Lobby due to his cheesy sweater design) sooner, but he really hasn't integrated well with the boys and frankly, we like to not air our little family dysfunctions in public.

Anyhoo, how about a couple links?

Thanks Joy for letting me know that E! online has a whole lotta Matrix and Keanu goin' on, and here's another article that I haven't even read for for fear of spoilage (I'll come back and click it on Wednesday). I like the title though, "Keanu's Hard Drive", because you know.....I'm twelve (insert "software" joke here).

And now, I'm off to go drinking and schmoozing.

You are my god, you are my dog
You kept me close, love never lost
I called you hippie, you said fuck off
said your brother's a real punk rocker

Something gonna happen
Something very soon
transcending flesh could be a breeze
Sending me oh over the moon

Friends near death, you gave respect
sympathetic intellect
Choices are, for one and all
All we are is, leaves that fall

Round and round inside your head
Smartest fucker I ever met
Vicious fish bit at your toes
Made you lie and numb your soul

Mule donkey ass you bore the load
Of all creations tortured souls
Choices are for one and all
All we are is, leaves that fall

Water flowing and I will drink it
I will drink for you
A part of me left that only you knew
Will never be understood
Will never be understood

Hey, gone to stay
Entire lifetime flash before me
In a loving stream
Hey mother may I have lost a child
But she gave birth
to a loving stream

Ooh, never know
When the gods will come and
Take you
To a loving stream
Ooh, heart of gold
The most special things you gave me were
From a loving stream

In a loving stream

Fuck the magazines
Fuck the green machine
See the human being
In a loving stream

Fuck the legal greed
Fuck the nothing scene
See the family
In a loving stream

~Red Hot Chili Peppers

-image and lyrics from Eternal River

Thanks T for this sweet story...

Keanu Reeves gifts surprise French lessons to co-star

NEW YORK: Keanu Reeves has won brownie points with his homesick "Matrix Reloaded" co-star Nona Gaye by treating her to French lessons on the sets of the sci-fi film.

His gift not only helped the "Ali" actress feel more at home on the film's Sydney set but also took care of her boredom between scenes, says Channel4.com.

She says: "It took me seconds to realise he's a very kind and intelligent person. I remember when I first got to Australia I didn't have anything to do for a month and a half and everyone else was working.

"I just sat in my hotel room alone and was going crazy and Keanu asked me what I wanted to do because he saw I was bored.

"I said, 'I've always wanted to learn how to speak French,' and he said, 'oh, that's nice'. Then his assistant called back and said, 'we've set up six weeks at Berlitz (language school) for French lessons'.

"That's how kind he is. I've heard he's done similar things for other people, like buying lovely bottles of wine for the crew and the cast. He's a very generous person."

OK, I have NO IDEA why the audblog was posted again, 5 hours later and twice more.

And what I meant by "not worthwhile" is that the other sites are covering the plethora of news and everything better. I appreciate the kinds words, though.

Anyway, Roi taped Monster Garage for me so I am getting ready to watch that before I lay back for an uniterrupted hour of Keifer at 9:00.

Eeeeeeeee!!!

First off, thank you to ~L for cleaning up this great photo of Keanu and Carrie-Anne from the Flare cover. They look so much better without lettering on their foreheads.

I'm still self-banishing from other sites and news sources but here's a few things that have slipped through the filters....

-Tonight is the Revolutions premiere at Disney Hall in Hollywood, so I'm sure we'll have some Yahoo and newswire pictures of Keanu and the rest of the cast either late tonight or tomorrow. There was a press conference yesterday (thanks Joy) so maybe some photos from that will surface soon as well.

-Keanu will be making some TV appearances to promote the film, including David Letterman on the 29th, the Today Show on the 4th, and word is that he might be stopping by Jesse James' Monster Garage on the Discovery Channel tonight. There's also E! and Biography programs about him coming up in November. More info on when to catch Keanu and Matrix Promo at TV-Now. (Thanks Tammy and Jena)

-Paulie reports that becky will have a 2-disc combo CD/DVD set out in time to stuff our stockings for Christmas.
"the first being a dvd with audio of our last 4 shows ... the second will be a full audio cd ... it will have a pull out lyric and picture sheet with full artwork!"
Oh, and if anyone listened to last night's Local Licks on KLOS that featured becky, please let us know how it went. Thanks :)

And it makes a fiery ring
Bound by wild desire
I fell into a ring of fire

Little did I know that last night - as Roi was teaching me to play 'Ring of Fire' over at Dave's - Batty and Jon, along with several other SoCal bloggers and many others were watching a firestorm right outside their windows, some packing their most important stuff and leaving their homes because of the worst wildfires in many years.

I fell into a burnin' ring of fire
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher
And it burns, burn, burns
The ring of fire, the ring of fire

It looks like Batty and Jon's place was unharmed. I'm seeing and reading on the news that so many others were not so lucky. I always get especially sad for the animals in these disasters.

The taste of love is sweet
When hearts like ours meet
I fell for you like a child
Oh, but the fire ran wild

300,000 acres. That's a lot of land.
Looking at the maps of the affected areas, I know that these are the places that Tess and I drove through on our way to and from Solana Beach last month.
I hope that this gets under control soon.

Little cat toeclaws and a little cat tongue brought me out of my sleep this morning so quickly I can't remember if I dreamed or not. I think I may have been roughed up a little by the sandman, it feels like I have a new phantom bruise on my eyebrow. Tender.

Your mind makes it real, they say.

No coffee yet today, there's only decaf brewed. Not my doing, it's bitter swill with no real purpose, in my opinion. The ficus gets it when it cools.

I have some new books to read so I have something to occupy me on my self-imposed cyber hermitage.
Is that a word? I know it's a wine.
I think maybe I should start drinking heavily again. It's fall, after all.
'Tanked off your ass' is the new black, I hear.

Dashing young Funk came to the comments to check on me.
So sweet.
If only all the nice boys weren't interstates or oceans or tax brackets away.

My stream of consciousness is puddling.
I expect to descend into full-on madness by Wednesday.

Coming Soon reports that Yahoo Movies has a seven minute clip looking at Revolutions.
With less than two weeks until release it's getting harder and harder to stay spoiler free. I had to bury my head in my blanket last night watching TV to avoid a spot I haven't seen yet. But, ignorance is bliss.

To pass the time and whet my appetite, I've been revisiting some of the questions brought up in both the first movie and Reloaded and frankly, it still makes my brain hurt.

So many different theories and opinions out there and each answer creates a whole new set of questions to drive us.

"For example, why do the machines need to use humans for their power source? Surely cows or elephants would process far more energy and be less likely to rebel."

A USENET poster named Adrian in rec.sport.football (of all places) gives this hilarious answer:

The Architect - Hello, Neo.

Neo - Moo?

The Architect - I am the Architect. I created the matrix. I've been waiting for you. You have many questions, and although the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably bovine. Ergo, some of my answers you will understand, and some of them ... well, actually, you're a cow, you probably won't follow any of this.
Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realise it is also irrelevant.

Neo - Mooooo?

The Architect - Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the matrix. You are the eventuality of an anomaly, which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden to sedulously avoid it, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably, here.

Neo - Moo. Moo moo moo.

The Architect - Quite right. "Sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation" doesn't have any meaning mathematically. It is just a bunch of math terms strung together to freak you out. Interesting. That was quicker than the others.

*The responses of the other Ones appear on the monitors: "Moo? Mooooo?
Moo!"*

The Architect - The matrix is older than you know. I prefer counting from the emergence of one integral anomaly to the emergence of the next, in which case this is the sixth version.

*Again, the responses of the other Ones appear on the monitors: "Moo?
Moo moo moo? Moo. Moooooo!"*

Neo - Moo. Moo moo.

The Architect - Precisely. As you are undoubtedly gathering, the anomaly's systemic, creating fluctuations in even the most simplistic equations.

*Once again, the responses of the other Ones appear on the monitors:
"MOOOO! F*ck MOO!" One flips him the hoof*

Neo - Moo. Moo.

*The scene cuts to a sexy Trinity cow running from a farmer in a suit with an earpiece and a hammer, and then back to the Architect's room*

The Architect - The first matrix I designed was quite naturally perfect, it was a work of art, flawless, sublime. A triumph equalled only by its monumental failure. The inevitability of its doom is as apparent to me now as a consequence of the imperfection inherent in every cow, thus I redesigned it based on your history to more accurately reflect the complete lack of variety in your nature.
However, I was again frustrated by failure. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind, or perhaps a mind less bound by the parameters of perfection.
Thus, the answer was stumbled upon by another, an intuitive program, initially created to investigate certain aspects of the bovine psyche.
If I am the farmer of the matrix, she would undoubtedly be the dell.

Neo - Moo.

The Architect - Please. As I was saying, she stumbled upon a solution whereby nearly 99.9% of all test subjects accepted the program, as long as they were given a choice, even if they were only aware of the choice at a near unconscious level. While this answer functioned, it was obviously fundamentally flawed, thus creating the otherwise contradictory systemic anomaly, that if left unchecked might threaten the system itself. Ergo, those that refused the program, while a minority, if unchecked, would constitute an escalating probability of disaster.

Neo - Moo.

*Quick cuts of cows standing there in a vast cave while wild rave music thunders around them. They, however, just stand there. Occasionally a tail twitches*

The Architect - Yes, Zion. You are here because Zion is about to be destroyed. Its every living inhabitant terminated, its entire existence eradicated.

Neo - Moo.

*The responses of the other Ones appear on the monitors -- the backsides of bulls all crapping.*

The Architect - Boredom is the most predictable of all bovine responses. But, rest assured, this will be the sixth time we have destroyed it, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it.

*Scene cuts to Trinity cow running from haystack to haystack pursued by the farmer Agent, and then back to the Architects room.*

The Architect - The function of the One is now to return to the source, allowing a temporary dissemination of the code you carry, reinserting the prime program. After which you will be required to select from the matrix 23 individuals, 16 cows, 7 bulls, to rebuild Zion. Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic system crash killing every cow connected to the matrix, which coupled with the extermination of Zion will ultimately result in the
extinction of the entire bovine race.

Neo - Moo. Moo Moooooo.

*shots of robots drinking delicious milk. Panning shots of dead cows in milking stalls. Back to a robot with a now-empty carton of milk. It looks heavenward and silently cries "NOOOOOOOO!"*

The Architect - There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept. However, the relevant issue is whether or not you are ready to accept the responsibility for the death of every cow in this world.

*The Architect presses a button on a pen that he is holding, and images of cows from all over the matrix appear on the monitors*

The Architect - It is interesting reading your reactions. Your five predecessors were by design based on a similar predication, a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the rest of your species, facilitating the function of the one.
While the others experienced this in a very general way, your
experience is far more specific. Vis-a-vis, love.

*Images of Trinity cow leaping out of a wheat silo backwards, fighting the Agent from Neo's dream appear on the monitors*

Neo - Moo.

The Architect - Apropos, she entered the matrix to save your life at the cost of her own.

Neo - MOooooooooooooooooooooooo!

The Architect - Which brings us at last to the moment of truth, wherein the fundamental flaw is ultimately expressed, and the anomaly revealed as both beginning, and end. There are two doors. The door to your right leads to the source, and the salvation of Zion. The door to the left leads back to the matrix, to her, and to the end of your species. As you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know what you're going to do, don't we? Already I can see the chain reaction, the chemical precursors that signal the onset of emotion,
designed specifically to overwhelm logic, and reason. An emotion that is already blinding you from the simple, and obvious truth: she is going to die, and there is nothing that you can do to stop it.

*Neo-cow just stands there.*

The Architect - Humph. Hope, it is the quintessential bovine ... umm. You should be choosing a door.

*Neo-cow looks around blankly.*

The Architect - Seriously. Choice. Causality. You've heard the concepts discussed eight or nine times already. You need to choose one door or the other.

Neo-cow stands there.

The Architect - Sooooo ... go get 'em. (pause) Giddyap.

*Neo-cow moves toward the right door. The Architect's face lights up, then Neo-cow stops again. Shifts its weight. The Architect rubs his forehead.*

The Architect - Oh for the love of Asimov ... (yelling up into ceiling) ... They never choose! The damn system's just going to collapse again!

*someone answers on a frequency we can't hear.*

The Architect - Fine. We'll try the humans.

*Neo-cow drops a patty.*

The Architect - That's not going to come out of a white floor. Dammit.

Yeah, I'm a bit of a control freak when it comes to this site. I've put a lot of work into it because I wanted to have a place where I (and other fans) could express appreciation for Keanu's movies and music, and adore him as a gifted and fascinating and beautiful man without having to deal with gossip, tabloid tales, and stalkerazzi images. So I keep that kind of thing off of here and ask that guests do the same.

I reserve the right to delete and edit comments that I find inappropriate, offensive or just plain tacky.

I rarely use it. I rarely have the need. But when it does happen, the sword of deletion will be swift and clean and if I'm in a good mood and the poster leaves a valid email address, I might even write them and explain why their comment was removed.
I might also be a bit more lenient towards regular commenters (editing rather than outright deletion) than with someone whose first post crosses the line right off, but the harsh reality is if it's personal, gossipy or otherwise inappropriate it will be deleted.

This is not to say that you should be afraid to comment if you are new to this site, but please....use good judgement. If it's something that you wouldn't want strangers speculating and discussing about you in a public forum, then it's probably not OK. His personal life, family, friends are all off limits. These are things that none of us know anything about and we don't need to in order to appreciate him, his acting or his music. Most fans know how private he is. Just read or watch an interview where any personal subject is brought up. He won't discuss these things because he doesn't feel they should be up for discussion and I try and respect that. And I ask that if you are going to leave a comment on my site, that you do the same.

Respect each other as well.
Attacking or insulting/flaming is also a no-no. Opinions can differ, but don't let it degrade into name-calling or other basic rudeness.

Leaving a comment for the sake of promoting your group or website is tacky and inappropriate. Doing it multiple times is spamming and will get you deleted and your IP banned.

Believe me, I know the difference between someone who has something to sincerely contribute to the discussion and who is just self-promoting.

Also, leaving unrelated frivolous comments just because you like to see your words on the screen is really not making a worthwhile contibution to the discussion, so please don't.

If you double/triple/etc post due to a browser glitch or something don't worry about it, I'll fix it when I see it. No need to add an additional "oops I double posted!" comment. That just makes more for me to clean up.

There is no need to sign your comments, your name is automatically put in the "posted by" place at the bottom. Also please don't "decorate" your name when you enter it in the box.

"Binky" is fine
"Binky!" is also fine
"~*~***Binky***~*~" is really not as cute as you think it is, just don't.

The comments for an entry are closed after seven days.

If you have a problem with the way I run things around here, then I would suggest that you don't visit.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I've been staring at my astrological charts for hours trying to determine where your head is at. The best I can figure out is that you're off the map . . . between the worlds . . . beyond the boundaries. Sorry I'm not able to be more specific. I guess you're pretty much on your own for now. I can at least tell you about the powers that this kind of outsider position usually confers: 1. sharper-than-usual intuition about the future; 2. a knack for making unexpected connections you didn't realize you needed; 3. an unpredictability that makes you attractive to people who can help draw out and clarify your unconscious desires.

~from freewillastrology.com

Gosh, I hope it's one of the Keanu dreams and not the one where I'm being chased by a fried egg.

So, it's now ten days until Halloween and what better costume than a Keanu character? I'm sure there will be all sorts of Neos, Agents and Trinities running around this year, so if you want to stand out from the crowd, go for the classics.

I recommend checking out BillandTed.org's How To section on Bill and Ted costumes.

DO

• Follow B&T dot org's advice, especially regarding details
  
• talk your friend into being Bill. Otherwise, if they resemble Keanu a bit too much, there may be a drunken situation on the cab ride home that neither of you can ever speak of again....unless you're into that sort of thing.
  
• Rewatch either Excellent Adventure or Bogus Journey and pick up some mannerisms. That's what will really sell it.
  

DON'T

• Wear bold prints, especially on your pants
  
• ...or a checkered vest. EVER.
  
• Open your mouth like this...again, EVER.
  

And of course, the biggest do's :

• Have Fun!
  
• And take pictures and send them to me!
  

Borders, Barnes & Noble, the entire Meadows Mall and everyone on the freeway can enjoy a nice hot fresh cup of Suck Me this morning.

On being asked who the best Hollywood hockey player is: "I'm going to have to say Keanu Reeves as a goaltender, because he's a pretty good goalie, one of the best goalies I've ever seen. He's stacking the pads, riding across, giving you the corner and then taking it away with the glove hand. He's really quick and really good."

-- Cuba Gooding Jr. (source: Denver Post, October 19, 2003 -via keanuweb)

Heh.
Told ya.

My computer is making a chirpy noise.
That can't be good, can it?
I hope it's just tired.

Well, it will get a break today. Roi is coming over to help me paint the the trim on the house and then we're going to Dave's studio.

Some assorted linkage before I power down-

Keanu A-Z has a new Gallery of Susan Shacter photos, yummy.

Extra TV may have some Revolutions/Keanu content on Monday's show. Thanks to Marsea for this tip.

C.H.U.D not only has a peek at the new Revolutions swag, but a chance to win it!
There's the equivalent of an essay question involved. (via keanuweb)

Here's an article about Hugo, who will be taking to the stage in Tom Stoppard's The Real Thing, starting this Wednesday in Sydney.

Have great day everyone, send healing vibes to my hard drive.
(God, that sounds dirty, huh?)

(Any men reading the title should be, like, so turned on right now)

So.....has anyone actually read the rest of their Cosmo?

Such a wealth of handy information for the single girl, really.

60-Second Seduction Tricks! How to have a Successful Threesome!
And of course a quiz, "Is He Naughty or Nice?"

The "Cosmic Guide to Guys" for Virgo sez:

He's a perfectionist in every area, from work to love to lust. How to wow him: Suggest working out together. He wants a girl who takes care of herself, too. His Sexual MO: He strives for erotic excellence, so be vocal about what you want. Hunk Hurdle: When his know-it-all attitude bugs you, remind yourself that he's trying to help.

And apparently, once the dirty talk, faux enthusiasm over pinball and threesomes help you get that man, you can make him over!

I feel so modern and liberated. Thanks Cosmo!

Of course, the whole book smells good, that's always a plus.
I'm actually amused at the "let's send a shirtless hot guy around town and take pictures of him bowling...shirtless!" spread, and they do feature Keanu in their "Sexiest Movie Guy Moments" page (circa 1991-Point Break-Wet T-Shirt pic).

And I really liked the demographically-telling full page ads for Astroglide and breast enlargement. Why follow the advice in a "What Guys Want in a Girlfriend" article when you can buy it for $2999.00?

Oh wait, speaking of ads....wireless remote butterfly?.....
I think I need one of those.

I wonder if, years from now, in the third part of the third trilogy -
The Matrix:Rehabilitated - the operator character will be named Google.

And maybe there will be a citizen of Zion (v9.0) who keeps a record of the useless minutae deep in the earth, and gives snarky commentary on the latest council meetings and cave raves.

Her name?

Why, Blog of course.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): "The fox knows many things," said the ancient Greek poet Archilochus, "but the hedgehog knows one big thing." Twentieth-century philosopher Isaiah Berlin used this thought as an organizing principle in discussing types of writers. Hedgehogs like Dante and Plato yearned to explain life's apparent chaos with a single, all-embracing theory, Berlin believed, whereas foxes like Shakespeare preferred to revel in the world's messy multiplicity without feeling a need to unify it all in one system. My long experience with astrological types has convinced me that most Virgos tend to be foxes. In the coming days, however, I advise you to try out the hedgehog perspective. It'll ensure you don't miss the forest for the trees.

...from freewillastrology.com

Somebody's underpants are up for auction again.

And I'm still gonna pass.

Bah, I just realized I have a glass class tomorrow evening so I may not be able to get my Reloaded DVD until Wednesday, unless I go to one of those midnight events. Which I'm not even sure there will be because this town sucks that way (everything else is open 24 hours so it's not so much an "event" so the stores don't really bother....bastards).

Not much going on today, I've done my own scans of the cosmo pics and am currently trying to detext the second one for a wallpaper.

Well, I never got around to typing up the cosmo interview, as I was up until 3am reading comic books, but Club-Keanu comes through as usual.

If you're having trouble finding the mag, here's a tip.
Keanu is not on the cover, he's on the start page of the CosmoMen insert section.

Some girl in a really cute top and white jeans after Labor Day is on the cover.

Here's a visual aid.

Hope that helps those going out to shop for this.
If you need, just remember the "READ HIS DIRTY MIND" at the top of the cover.

'nite.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month....

Learn more.

The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation

National Alliance of Breast Cancer Organizations

Good luck with your whole recall election thingy today.

It's not like the rest of us aren't sitting back with our popcorn and lattes laughing at you anyway so if there's a spot, I urge you to write:

on your ballots....

Thank you for the get-well emails and wishes.

I'm going to spend the weekend in bed with Jack Traven, Neo, Jjaks and a Johnny or two and hope that by Monday I'll be 100%again, because I'm fucking done with this being sick nonsense.

Hope everyone that's going to the Galaxy gig tonight has a great night and everyone has a great weekend.

As always, the links on the right are full of great sites to keep you busy and updated and everything.

I've put some Keanu pictures that I've bought in the past up at eBay if anyone's interested.

All proceeds go to the Red Bull and Vodka fund.

I'm home and beat. Thanks for listening to my INSANE audbloging. I had no idea I made so many calls.

becky really rocked last night and the SL boys thrilled and delighted today.
What a great fucking weekend.

Hi! to the new friends I made, especially to Frell, with whom I shared a very special LIVE Ass Saturday moment (eeeee!).

And now it's a quick email check and then to bed for this sunburned girl.

xoxox

Catch ya later!

I have about twenty minutes before I have to leave for the airport to pick up Tess. We're driving to Solana Beach in the morning to go see becky tomorro