August 16, 2004
silly tabloids, always getting it wrong


Hollywood hunk KEANU REEVES has finally accepted the power of the internet and bought an APPLE MACINTOSH, according to friends.

The MATRIX star - who logged on again after a brief fling with chess servers and dial-up in the early 90s - asked the salesman to explain how ethernet works in a Los Angeles Apple Store, adding that he is ready for instant access to porn in his life after the past 12 years of newstands and sticky floors, reports not a particularly credible source at all.

A close friend says, "Kenau [sic] and technology have known each other for years. In May (04) they got together again and over the past few months, Keanu started thinking about DSL vs. cable.

"He has spent weeks picking out an email address. Apple said 'Yes' when he asked if "" was taken. It will just be a simple addy, Keanu hates fuss, attention and a string of numbers before the @." He's told pals to expect the lame joke forwards and funny pictures to start hitting their inboxes later this week.

it wahs | from inside the mind of krix at August 16, 2004 11:57 AM .

This is the funniest thing I've read in ages. Thanks for the great giggle.

Posted by: JeniLyn on August 16, 2004 12:15 PM

what a hoot! Krix thanks for sharing your wit with us! Most excellent humor!

Posted by: mellake on August 16, 2004 12:30 PM

You crack me up.

Posted by: Chianti on August 16, 2004 12:51 PM

i am the apple... i mean... i am the Apple!
too cool for school!!! OK!

Posted by: wanda on August 16, 2004 01:09 PM

very cute story!

Posted by: wanda on August 16, 2004 01:10 PM

Ewwwwww. *shudder*

Well we all know he's doing it to access this site. ;)

But a MAC? (Don't hurt me, Zenny!)

Posted by: Mikey2 on August 16, 2004 01:40 PM

You're fucking hysteral. I love you too darn much!

Posted by: Keanuette on August 16, 2004 01:52 PM

LOL krix, you're a riot.
Mikey2, I think you mean "Don't hurt me, nudel!". I've never owned a MAC.

Posted by: Zen on August 16, 2004 01:59 PM

Simply hilarious!
OMG, krix, this is the best I've read in ages!!

Posted by: Niobe on August 16, 2004 02:17 PM

Too freaking funny krix, thanks!!! Now THIS is worth reading. LOL

Posted by: Chicks on August 16, 2004 02:24 PM

bwaaahahaha! and I read this at work, fortunately the boss has gone... of course, Keanu being the stylish guy we all know he is (hah hah) would have a Mac.

*ahem* krix, thank you for turning my day around! you SO rawk!

Posted by: nudel on August 16, 2004 02:36 PM

ROFLMAO@Krix! Too funny...I love it!

There's true love in that Macintosh...and I do mean the computer ;-)

Posted by: shelz on August 16, 2004 03:21 PM

I am rolling here!! krix, you crack me up girl, love ya!

Posted by: Jena on August 16, 2004 03:41 PM

krix, you are hysterically funny! You are a wild and punny girl! Thanks for the laugh ... I needed it after reading the latest "news". As always, you add laughter to the hysteria.

Posted by: sta-cie on August 16, 2004 04:08 PM

Assuming he buy it this month, August, is that considered fall or autumn?

Posted by: Can't give it up on August 16, 2004 04:39 PM

Very clever Krix;)
Got Keanu?

Posted by: audy on August 16, 2004 05:04 PM

LOL!!!! Omg, you kill me! :-D
Bwahahahaha, that shocking news will cause a shockwave throughout the community of PC-users *snork*

And oh! I must change my spamblock! I mean, I don't want to miss out on any lame joke FW's and pictures now that he's on the net ;-D

Posted by: Julie! on August 16, 2004 06:19 PM

Now that's more like it -- Keanu Reeves to buy a MacIntosh in the Autumn -- I knew they had it bass ackwards -- ROTFLMAO -- lousy tabloids!!!!

Posted by: jude on August 16, 2004 07:00 PM

Maybe he can have some DeCadenet wine with that. Well, it sounds like a wine name. :-D

Posted by: LoveTheLefty on August 16, 2004 08:26 PM

Been lurking as a Keanu appreciator for a while.
Appreciate you too, Krix: your writing and your rules.
Great work, like today. :-)

Posted by: kattatonic1 on August 16, 2004 10:01 PM


I wish theone was not taken, someone should give up their account, because then we could go and be the ones who joke mail him. lol yea right I don't think he'd actually be that obvious...
I hope he got the message somehow to look at that birthday greeting online. That'd be funny, to spam him w/ his own face. BUY THE MATRIX NOW!

Sigh, I wish I could have been the one (no pun intended) to show him that ethernet cable... :-/

Posted by: cornflakes on August 16, 2004 10:41 PM

HEHE sorry, but i'm just thinking of him, opening his email, only to see it filled w/ tons and tons of ADs, including the one of himself, telling people to think different think Keanu. That'd be strangely ironic. How weird it would be to be Keanu if that happened.

Posted by: cornflakes on August 16, 2004 10:44 PM

HEHE the two articles are so very parallel it's great! Ingenious, Krix!

Posted by: cornflakes on August 16, 2004 11:01 PM


...and here's an ad:
"Apple's Macintosh...sweet and delicious"

*waves at Julie!* PC, tool of love and, I mean work...but of course now I want that Mac;-)

Posted by: shelz on August 17, 2004 06:15 AM

I love my Macintosh. But I sure hope he doesn't marry one, I gotta say. Give me a few more months to get over my obsession, baby. Don't take away my silly daydreams just yet.

Posted by: Smit too on August 17, 2004 07:07 AM

mehhh he'll still be the same keanu we all love, even if he did get married...

Posted by: cornflakes on August 17, 2004 09:15 AM

Absolutley fabulous - I am roflmao here - and just have to say, that I think you've gotten to the "core" of the situation..........

Posted by: Jolsie on August 18, 2004 09:25 AM
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