"Johnny Mnemonic" is to Keanu fans as "Spock's Brain" is to Star Trek fans. The only difference is Spock's brain was detached from his body, Johnny's was going to explode. Star Trek fans hide "Spock's Brain" episode from non-fans. I hide JM from my non-Keanu friends. Keanu also has acknowledged his disappointment in the film. On a Sports Talk radio station in Chicago, Keanu complained that Tri Star studio completely changed the concept of the movie after it was filmed. One of the hosts responded, "what was it originally, a musical?" Funny stuff. I bought a pre-production copy of the movie at a media convention- its the only way I can stand watching it. It's missing the background music, the credits, the opening scene, and the sound effects. Instead of a knock at the door, someone says "knock, knock." It has my all-time least favorite, red-alert cringe line Keanu has ever said in a movie: "I NEED a computer." I need an exit sign.
There were few clues that disaster was imminent. The commercials looked good, the media hype was all positive the week before it opened. I loved the MTV half-hour movie special on JM, what host Chris Connelly called "a moped down memory lane", a retrospective on Keanu's career. Keanu looked relaxed, open, and gorgeous. Keanu had read William Gibson's 1984 story called "Neuromancer" and jumped at the chance to work with him and Robert Longo, the director. Millions of other Sci Fi fans waited anxiously for the first adaption of Gibson's work to make it to the screen; it seemed primed to become a blockbuster. And then JM was moved from a winter release to Memorial weekend, up against the third installment in the "Die Hard" series. Who made that decision?
I saw JM on its opening night in the largest auditorium at the theater complex. By Sunday, it was moved to an auditorium the size of my living room. The Friday reviews were frightening. All those jokes about Keanu's brain capacity needing an upload, or needing a brain implant, or needing an "ultimate hard drive" himself. So what happened to a movie which began so promising with Keanu in black underwear on black satin sheets, and the universal appeal of a man trying to reclaim his lost childhood memories?
Well, first of all, I usually don't like movies that begin with a scroll. You get your popcorn, you settle in your seat, and the next thing you know you have flashbacks to a college lecture hall as you try to comprehend Nerve Attenuation Syndrome, Loteks, Yakuza, Mnemonic couriers, and wet-wired brain implants. Johnny's brain was uploaded from 80 to 160 gigabytes and carried 320 gigabytes of information. I needed the same thing just to figure out what the hell was going on. I hadn't even started eating my popcorn when I was confronted with "they sheath their data in black ice, to burn the brains of intruders." Quick! Get me a memory augmentation...or an Adam Sandler movie.
I got the plot---everyone hates pharmaceutical companies and Pharmakom looked pretty nasty. But the testosterone explosion of Ice-T as J-Bone, Dolph Lungren as Street Preacher, and Henry Rollins as Spider, just overwhelmed Keanu's disintegrating "Just Johnny." And the lack of chemistry between Keanu and Dina Meyer didn't help.
The movie was just plain weird.
The Loteks didn't seem to be too bright (think of the two guards who dropped the exploding car to the ground.) And the NAS underground seemed to ineffective to be true hero- material. There was a "ghost in the machine" who kept popping up yelling "Johnny!" at tense moments. And what's with Keanu in a shark-skinned suit, tied down on a table with a red ball in his mouth getting his head whacked off? Dominatrix, anyone? ["Yes, please!"--krix]
On a personal note, I did get to visit the JM bridge in Montreal, when I visited a friend. I got to cross it and stand under it. I didn't find the dirt hill so I could give my "room service, cold Mexican beer, and $10,000 a night hooker" soliloquy, but I did soak up the ambience (actually it was a parking lot.)
JM should be like Brigadoon and reappear every 99 years. It should be put back in the matrix and everyone given a blue pill. It's our own "Plan 9 From Outer Space", Y2K Hoax, bogus journey. I experienced synaptic seepage along with Johnny as I watched this half-baked distant cousin of "Blade Runner" and "Dark City." Why did those work and this one tank? And speaking of tanks, should we even mention the ending with the porpoise? It may become the definitive example of a "camp" movie. JM will become a Sci-Fi cult classic when I get to sit in the hot seat staring at Reege. Its quirkiness gave it potential, but I would rate it as Keanu's weakest link.
The balcony is now open.
It's one of those films you'd just rather forget. It became extremely hard to continue watching once the porpoise entered the scene. I might have even uttered 'oh brother' out loud. It didn't waver my appreciation for his work though. We've all taken jobs just to pay the bills. Can't knock him for doing that.
Posted by: anne on July 15, 2002 02:38 PMWell, I have to tell you, it's not one of my favorite Keanu films, but it sure as hell beats watching anything by Jean Claude Van Dame, Antonio Banderas, Adam Sandler, or Sylvester Stallone. In fact, I sometimes watch it just for the BLACK UNDERWEAR AND SATIN SHEETS! Nothing brings me out of a bitchy mood more than seeing Johnny pitch a hissy fit on top of that garbage heap.
Posted by: Rhonda on July 15, 2002 02:51 PMSee, I *liked* it. I thought it was a fun movie. If you look at it as "campy" it's pretty fun.
Maybe I should come up with a Johnny M. drinking game.
-Someone says "Just Johnny" ? DRINK!
-Crazy thumb weapon guy slaughters someone? DRINK!
-Dolph says something unintelligible? DRINK X2!!
You get the idea...
Love JM. Keanu rocks in this movie. I love his dedication to the part, even down to him slimming down to show Johnny's degeneration from the cyberinfo he was carrying in his head.
"You can't shoot me..."
"Not, in the head!"
LOL
Posted by: keanuette on July 15, 2002 05:24 PMNo - this movie was cool. The concept was cool especially wet wiring, which is a popular theme in SciFi books. It was badly executed. It is one of those plots that work well in book form but is hard to translate to the screen. Hard Core SciFi always is hard to translate and has a particular audience. The coolest part is when Johnny does that Zen stuff in the toilets after he has uploaded the 320 gigs. Also the Internet scene is brilliant. I would love to surf the Internet LIKE THAT! And the Johnny 'doubling up' rocks!
Guess I liked it.
The worst Ke-Film is Feeling Minnesota, I have only been able to watch that film once. Now that really did suck!
I count it among my guilty favorites. Not for the story so much as Keanu's performance (I also liked the hissy fit scene on top of the trash dump) and let's face it, the line "I need a computer" isn't any worse then the bedroom scene in PB where another Johnny is trying to call Tyler to apologize.
I totally agree about the lack of chemistry between Keanu and Dina, and who decided to cast Dolf Lundgreen anyway? That alone made the movie a joke from the beginning.
Posted by: Tyler on July 15, 2002 07:44 PMI've never felt so sorry for an actor as I felt for Keanu during that "room service" diatribe. Great Goddess, who the HELL wrote that??? It is bar none the WORST speech I have ever seen in a major motion picture - the writer should have been shot for that alone!...
Really, I can't think of a single thing to recommend this movie (other than the black underwear). Everything about it sucked, the actors (yes, even Keanu - he's rarely been this bad), the script, the directing, the FISH. The FX were ok, but nothing to write home about. The fact that the opening scene was added later was painfully obvious - within six hours, Just Johnny loses about 20 pounds (and that's before the memory upload)!!...
This is one instance in which I really don't mind all the snide comments made by reviewers. The movie deserves it, and it's easy to see why it rubbed off on Keanu - it makes him look like a moron for ever agreeing to be in it. (There was one comment that made me roll on the floor laughing - after explaining the brain-exploding-from-overload thing, the reviewer quipped, "So much for YOUR theories about what makes Keanu Reeves weird." Priceless!)...
Nope, this is an incredible dud. Which is not to say I never watch it. I do admit that it is on my Guilty/Deeply Stupid Pleasures shelf. Hey, everybody has their masochistic moods, and sometimes I just feel like laughing my ass off...
Sparrowhawk (hey, I like Antonio!!)
Posted by: Sparrowhawk on July 15, 2002 10:54 PMWasn't the room service monologue was improvised by Keanu? Someone correct me if I'm wrong.
Posted by: krix on July 16, 2002 08:51 AMhaha Krix - better hope he doesn't start writing his own scripts then!
Maybe it looked better before they cut 'certain parts' out of it?
I don't think the movie was bad... I only think that the treatment given to the original story and the director weakened the movie. Besides, it was released two or three years before than it should have - with the computer/internet boom. It isn't one of my favorite Keanu movies, but certainly isn't the worst. There are some 'Freaked' tapes - if you get my non-subtle hint - far worse.......... =)
Posted by: Beatrice on July 16, 2002 10:57 AMI kinda like FM, zel.... ;)
Posted by: Anne on July 16, 2002 01:35 PMI *love* FM.
It'll probably be the next movie posted here at the Backlot, so stay tuned (we can dogpile on zel!)
oooo - I'll look forward to that!
I might even watch it again, just so I can defend myself. Seriously I love Keanu to death but that movie totally sucked for me! (and I'm not talking Miss Diaz type sucking here)
Each to our own, eh?
Oh, c'mon zel... between FM and JM, JM is the worst. I really liked FM, it has no intention of being hollywood-ish, or following rules... Anyway, drifting away. Happy to now FM is next. Now that will be one to talk A LOT about.......
Posted by: Beatrice on July 17, 2002 03:10 PMah - each to their own.
Posted by: zel on July 17, 2002 07:25 PMThe plot lost it in the end (the porpoise stuff) but I thought Keanu's performance was very good though I know a LOT of you wouldn't agree.
Posted by: zoot on November 3, 2002 03:08 PMi love you keanu...but why didn`t you just reconsider when you read the script...but hey..it`s your life...i`m just a fan...and i have to say...rather than nothing...better JM:P:>
Posted by: Cristina on March 15, 2003 10:01 AMHeeeej FM doesn't have to be resemled with JM!! I totally love FM, there's chemistry between Cameron and Keanu, the script is good, the acting is good..all this isn't in that friggn JM. But I like JM too...the end is quite romantic with Keanu en Diane...what's her name?
Posted by: Shan!ce on June 11, 2003 02:14 PMOK, dudes, i love every keanu movie, no matter how weak or , but this one was cool, especially for it's campiness!
as everyone seems to agree, the satin sheets bit was the best (no competition)
but i recon the 'i NEED a computer' line was hell cool.
JM was cool, lets all admit it. -i thought this and i only saw it this year.
I know you'll all read this, sneak into your lounge room, press 'PLAY' and snuggle down with your popcorn and doona to watch JM again, like you do every night.
.....well, maybe not every night
Posted by: martha on August 15, 2003 02:42 AMI don't understand why everybody hated this money so much. I loved it. It had this cool '80s feel to it. I thought Keanu and Dina were great. The fights were OK. Yes, there were a few weird scenes which seemed like they could have ended up on the cutting room floor. But I could sit happily through another showing, no problem.
Posted by: Sunny on August 25, 2003 02:32 PMI loved the room service monologue, and the worst line was not "I NEED a computer", but "What. Are. You. Doing?".
Posted by: Zen on September 7, 2003 11:18 AMThe monologue is the best thing in the movie. He rants, he raves, he calms, "I want my shirts laundered..." That weird little tic he has of flicking his hands out of his sleeves makes me creamy...
Posted by: Creamy4Neo on January 7, 2004 11:22 AMi love this movie to.i keanu more.<3xxxxxxxx
Posted by: ~*HaNnY*~ on March 24, 2004 11:00 AM