January 17, 2003
Decisions decisions decisions

Being a corrupt dictator is hard work!

Currently up for debate in Keanugolia:

The Issue: In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for Keanugolia's Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that Dogstar could be added to the menu.

The Debate

#1 ) "The fact is, the Dogstar population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Violet du Pont. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have dogstar kebabs, dogstar pies, dogstar-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."

#2 ) "I agree that something needs to be done about Dogstar over-population," says random passer-by Anne-Marie Chicago, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."

#3 )"I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Jessica Hanover. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The Dogstar were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The Dogstar is part of what makes Keanugolia a great nation!"

I'm having a little trouble getting behind the "overpopulation" arguments. As far as I can tell, Dogstar has been more of a rare and endangered species these days.
I'm leaning toward supporting position #3, in spite of the fact that Ms. Hanover continues to annoy me by referring to them as The Dogstar.
I think she may be on the crack.

So...what do you say?

Shall I pass a law making it okay to eat Dogstar?

I don't know if I could do it after looking in their little eyes

it wahs | from inside the mind of krix at January 17, 2003 10:54 AM .

Maybe we could just eat parts of them :)

Posted by: Kelly on January 17, 2003 11:23 AM

If we had dogstar on a stick we could suck on them- - -you know, like popsicles


Posted by: Tyler on January 17, 2003 11:39 AM

omg, now I'm not going to get a thing done today...


Posted by: krix on January 17, 2003 11:43 AM


Marketing them as 'tasty snacks' sounds good.

Posted by: Keanuette on January 17, 2003 11:54 AM

I couldn't get online yesterday...

Posted by: Keanuette on January 17, 2003 11:54 AM

I propose chocolate-dipped popsicles -Thanx to Tyler *tm*, who's keeping us ALL off work ;-)
Of course, you could also genetically manipulate them into a handy size (portable Keanu!) The population might dissagree, but hey! You're the dictator, right! :-)

Posted by: Julie on January 17, 2003 12:44 PM

i don't think we should literally devour them, but maybe a little licking wouldn't hurt.

Posted by: Lori on January 17, 2003 02:54 PM

Not trying to be a party pooper, I don't think they look very happy with the news. Perhaps, krix, you should let them know about the *ahem* sucking idea.

Posted by: Bea on January 17, 2003 04:38 PM

I know what you mean, Bea. The look on Rob's face says "veal" to me.

Posted by: krix on January 17, 2003 04:44 PM

i'm all for dogstar popsicles!

Posted by: kat on January 17, 2003 07:01 PM

As a representative of KETA (Keanuoglians for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) I have to demand that reason and compassion guide your decision.

Dogstar, be it on a stick or kebob is murder, no matter how you slice it...as it were.

Posted by: scott on January 17, 2003 09:24 PM

no scott, you misunderstand me. i only want to lick them while they live. no murder involved, though there may be a "little death."

Posted by: Lori on January 17, 2003 09:39 PM

Well, they certainly do look tasty. Yum. ;-)

Posted by: Muffy on January 18, 2003 12:50 AM

You know that if you were to lick 'em just right, I think the dogsters would be praying for that "little death" Lori was talking about.

I would like to try and find out, you know?

Posted by: Tyler on January 18, 2003 07:35 AM

I think, when describing my comment above, the word "obtuse" is the best fit.

Posted by: scott on January 18, 2003 06:35 PM

Oh Scott, you're just not used to being around so many Dogstar bitches in heat. Just keep your extremities inside the passenger compartment at all times and you'll be fine.

Posted by: krix on January 18, 2003 06:52 PM

I have to harily second all the tasty treat, lickem good comments above...

Posted by: tess on January 18, 2003 10:00 PM
What's on your mind?.....
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