March 12, 2004
survey says!

OK, I'm bored and cranky and there's no news so I figure I'll point out that Keanu is up against nine other actors (and in some cases I use the term loosly, I'm looking at you, The Rock) for Hollywood's sexiest studmuffin or something over at

And now I shall mock it.

Like Carol Alt, I find Colin amazingly skeevy.
Plus he looks like the lovechild of Ross and Joey in this pic. Ew.

Ok, I'll admit that Viggo looked yummy all bearded and kingly in middle earth, but cleaned up?
Ferret face.

Too. Much. Forehead. Also, kinda girly.
I once dumped a great guy just because his hands were more delicate than mine. Ick.

Johnny, you're the only one on this list that could even begin to make me consider letting the calls from Reeves go straight to my voicemail.
However, you charge too much for drinks at your club so I'm afraid you can never truly have my heart. Savvy?
(I still think would be a great name for a fan site.)

Another one who was tasty in the Hobbit movies but in general, meh. Plus, he looks like this stoner guy that used to hassle me in high school and I can't reconcile that grudge at all.
Bastard. You owe me for therapy.

Keanu's Constantine co-star so I shouldn't snark but.....
Like the bald, like the smile. Get that thing off your chin. Now.

The Rock
Call me when he starts going by a real name.
I HATE his eyebrow thing.
And ultimately, I don't care how many movies you make, you're a wrestler.

I'm pretty sure you could give a fuck about these polls, but you are winning baby.
And you'll always be my sexiest everything. Smoooch....

Oh, Ashton.
God bless you and your trucker hats for finally taking the mantle of "stupid pretty boy" off of Keanu's undeserving shoulders.
Your huge guppy lips creep me out.

Who is this guy?
He's kinda cute in a weird Taiwanese dog kind of way, but he's not pinging my radar.
Or anything else for that matter.

If you'd like to go vote in this silly poll, you can do so here.

it wahs | from inside the mind of krix at March 12, 2004 05:34 PM .

I voted several times. Too bad I can't vote more than once in the upcoming election.

I agree, Johnny is the only guy who could lure me away from Keanu.

The last guy, whatshisname, reminds me of a guy I had a class with in college. On the first day of class, we did the sit-in-a-circle-and-tell-about-yourself thing. Most people gave their names, majors, and maybe a sorority or fraternity. He said, "My name is Ben and I like beer."

Oh, he was kinda cute alright, but he didn't get any academic awards at graduation.

Posted by: Melissa on March 12, 2004 05:48 PM

Hi. Straight male here. *I* would pick Keanu over these guys. Depp runs a good race, though. Loved his Keith Richards act in Pirates.

I'm probably biased. I am the self-styled blonde Neo, after all...

Posted by: Mikey2 on March 12, 2004 05:51 PM

Bwahahaha! You're so funny when you're cranky! :-D

And THANK you for not slamming Johnny, I totally adore him. Even in his mascara & angora-sweaters! ;-) He just oozes coolness.

The rest of the guys I don't know. Or maybe I've just *blocked* them out of the visual department of my brain....
Oh no, Wait! I DO know Legolas! Disturbingly cute pointy ears, right? *recalls* Handy with a bow. Long blonde hair. Fast runner. Has some sort of 'male-bonding thing' going on with a dwarf. *giggle*
Yes, he's cute too. Nowhere near Keanu, but still. For an elf.

*beats up stoner bloke that hassled Krix*

Posted by: Julie! on March 12, 2004 06:43 PM

I want that Taiwanese dog!!!

Posted by: :: jozjozjoz :: on March 12, 2004 06:46 PM

Whoa Krix: you read my mind, but with more clarity! Loved the commentary. Agree 1000%. Johnny Depp is the only one even close to KR, but he's to f'ng petite.

Hope you're recouperating well. Lung loogies drying up? eeeeuuuuwww

Posted by: wallflower on March 12, 2004 06:48 PM

I've voted in this poll this morning more times than I care to admit, and I think for second place would take Mr Hounsou. He's had a corner of my heart since Gladiator. I will see you again, my friend, but not yet - not yet. 'sniff...

I mean, Jude Law is quite handsome, but here he looks like my eighth grade French teacher, who was so pretentious it made me want to jetez mes biscuits.
We must admit the pics of these other guys don't really do them justice - of course Monsieur Reeves is tres debonnaire, as usual.

Posted by: Chianti on March 12, 2004 07:01 PM

Forgive me krix, but I had to share this with those of us who picked Johnny as our number 2 guy.

I read in People mag that Johnny was late for work because his daughter wanted to play and he could not say no to her.

Okay, let's all say it together now: AAAWWWW!! What a sweet guy.

Posted by: Melissa on March 12, 2004 08:28 PM


Posted by: CHRISTELLE on March 13, 2004 12:23 AM

Too funny and dead on accurate, especially the Ashton analysis. Johnny runs second for me too. Both Keanu and Johnny are similar in one really important way...they don't give a f*** what anyone thinks and walk to the beat of their own bass/guitar. They EARN their respect the hard way.

Posted by: Irene on March 13, 2004 05:04 AM

Johnny rulez [after Keanu]. It's his eyes and he's cool enough to shar the same birthday as me...:o)

Christelle - what are you on love...?

Posted by: Keanuette on March 13, 2004 07:01 AM

krix, how do you do it? even when sick, you crack me up!...hilarious commentary!

Taiwanese dog boy looks like someone I went to school with, and that was prehistoric..

Posted by: bakednudel on March 13, 2004 08:05 AM

Thanks to Ashton. He's done a great public service.

Posted by: sta-cie on March 13, 2004 08:54 AM

Ahahaha, You wanna know what's funny? I actually went to school with the ROCK. Also I met him various times here in Hawaii while he was filming "The Rundown & Kamehameha". Once even at the gym. He is really cool & up close he is quite handsome. I usually never go for Samoan or Black Guys but he seems to be the perfect combination of both. Anyway, it's good to see Ke in the Lead. Let's keep him there people. Let's not have another Hello mag fiasco.

Posted by: Keana on March 13, 2004 10:25 AM

Oh yea, I agree with Krix on JD, He runs A close second to KE & A Big Mahalo to Ashton For finally taking the crown of "Himbo King" from our beautiful Keanu who for so many years had to suffer with it undeservingly.

Posted by: Keana on March 13, 2004 10:32 AM

YaY!! kewl site, loved it when Ke's votes went from 48.7% to 51% ..all in the span of a few mins..hmmmm could it be the 39048474671646 + votes i did for him ?!?! that isnt 'cheating' is it ?? :D

Posted by: Dawni on March 13, 2004 11:41 AM

I love this! krix rules!

I believe the last guy is from Y tu Mama Tambien. Does anyone else think The Rock looks like Rob Schneider? And while I also place Johnny in the number two position, I've always felt like he works a little at being cool, whereas Keanu just is.

And Nettie, LOL, thanks for mentioning. I thought it was me.

Posted by: Zen on March 13, 2004 12:38 PM

I never said I didn't "like" Johnny Depp...what I said was "he needs a stylist,"...and "he paid someone to become "Sexiest Man 2003"...oh, and I may have said he's got the "bad boy" thing going on...DON'T CONFUSE MY WORDS! LOL!

...I knew of him when he was in a punk band, before he became an actor. I remember waking up one day and suddenly realizing he had become a celebrity superstar...and in fact I'm a big fan of his work...and he is so cool (and my Mom was happy when he won last year lol!)

I am happy for Keanu that here he is getting the "Sexiest Man" recognition he deserves. Just goes to show how many of his fans are on the internet!;-)

Posted by: shelz on March 13, 2004 02:13 PM

Put Orlando Bloom in period clothing, and throw a sword in his hand? hoowah! Orlando Bloom everywhere else? meh.

I'm gonna go watch Pirates again. hee.

Posted by: skits on March 14, 2004 01:11 AM

The Taiwanese dog thing caught my eye ... kinda laughed and was surprised because I'm in Taiwan right now, and have a dog from here. (doesn't look too much like that one) As far as the poll, I gotta say, Keanu's beatiful but ... yeah ... Johnny.

Posted by: hayley on March 14, 2004 09:53 AM

Actually Orlando looks like my grandpa sooooooo much...although much younger. But every time I see him I can't help thinking of grandpa. I believe I can never figure out why there's so many girls think he's handsome.

Johnny! Yeah, he's hot. And I've to admit that I watched all the videoes I can get starred by him again after I was totally allured by his Captain Jack Sparrow.

But Keanu is my favo, always!

Posted by: Susannah on March 14, 2004 04:03 PM

For the record I want the Taiwanese dog, not the guy who resembles the Taiwanese dog.

Posted by: :: jozjozjoz :: on March 14, 2004 06:54 PM

I'm silly, so I voted! :D

Keanu is kicking everybody else's @ss! Yay

Posted by: jeanna! on March 15, 2004 04:03 AM

The cute little Taiwanese dog boy (although not as adorable as our dog boy) is from Y Tu Mama...and he is a doll baby but that's an awful picture. Johnny is gorgeous but he will always be second to Mr. Reeves in my eyes too.

Posted by: JeniLyn on March 15, 2004 10:59 AM
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