Because really, how can you come across something like this and NOT blog it? Plus you have to admit, Harker's accent? Not so good.
Connery's Irish brogue as Jim Malone in the 1987 film The Untouchables was voted top of the list, despite the Scot winning a best supporting actor Oscar for his performance.
The poll of Empire magazine readers gave second place to Dick van Dyke for his notoriously bad Californian Cockney in Mary Poppins.
The magazine writes in its August edition, 'Whether he's a Russian sub captain (The Hunt for Red October) or even an English King (First Knight and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves), always that baritone Highland burr remains.'
Brad Pitt was voted in at number three for his portrayal of an Austrian explorer in Seven Years in Tibet, closely followed by Charlton Heston in 1958's A Touch of Evil.
Heather Graham came in fifth for her role as a prostitute in the recently released Jack the Ripper flick From Hell and fellow young American Keanu Reeves in Bram Stoker's Dracula took sixth place for his version of the English accent.
Julia Roberts Irish lilt in Mary Reilly came in for some stick at seven. British actors Pete Postlethwaite, at eight for his portrayal of Indian Kobayashi in The Usual Suspects, and the late Laurence Olivier for his 'end of pier Jewish accent' in the 1980 remake of The Jazz Singer were also featured.
In tenth place on the Empire list was Meryl Streep for her in accent in the 1985 film Out of Africa.
Empire's Olly Richards commented, 'Putting on a foreign lilt appeals to a star's vanity, giving them the opportunity to inhabit someone a million miles from themselves and prove that they are more than a pretty face.
'Sadly, in most cases, it does the exact opposite.'
For a "worst of" list, that's pretty impressive company, actually...
July's calendar is up.
I like all the different people
I like sticky everywhere
Look around, you bet I'll be there!
Hot metal in the sun
Pony in the air
Sooey and saints at the fair
Saints alive you're saying
Walk in ... squares
The hid are out, out for the year
It's a lot of face
A lot of crank air
Eroding around here
Summer is ready when you are
I like all the different people
I like every kind of fair
In the crowd, you bet I'll be there!
Seeing Sooey and saints at the fair
Summer is ready when you are
Summer is ready when you are
Summer is ready when you are
It's a lot of face, crank air
Summer is ready when you are
from The Last Splash CD
And why oh why, did I give up coffee?
We actually didn't drink that much but I still feel like hell today for some reason.
Anyway, I have to work on the calendar so check back later.
but rather, try to become a man of value...
This picture and the quote by Albert Einstein were together in my mailbox today, thanks to Rhonda.
I'm up way too early for a Sunday, especially considering that I have late night debauchery planned with Lori O. tonight. Expect drunken voicemonkeys later.
There are walruses on my television, which reminds me, I have to go take Roi some whiskey for his toothache.
Hope everyone has a lovely Sunday.
Thanks to club-keanu for the heads up.
Waiting for confirmation from Paulie or the becky site....
UPDATE - confirmation from Paulie:
"hi everyone! ... july 14th 11:30pm at the viper room in west hollywood
california ... becky live! ... hope to see you there!"
I have no idea if I can make this one or not.
My first project, an ill-advised period piece based on non-existant letters of regret written by Rimbaud from his deathbed, produced just so Keanu could play the lead like he has said he wanted, is projected to be a dismal failure.
I think I'd better fire Mamet...
The Spiritual Hunt (R) (Period Drama/True Story/Drama/Literary Adaptation) Starring Keanu Reeves and Christina Ricci Also Featuring Jason Lee, Tim Robbins, Marcia Gay Harden, and Meryl Streep Directed by David Mamet Screenplay by David Mamet
Projected Budget Range: $60-69 Million
Planned Release Date: April
Projected Box Office Receipts:
$9.51 million (Opening Weekend)
$42.99 million (Total Domestic Gross)
Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 6%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 2%
Critic Most Likely to Praise: Jay Carr, Boston Globe
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Rita Kempley, Washington Post
I swear I'm going to play around with this thing until I create a the perfect concept.
And then I'm calling Joel to rub it in his face.
BEAVERTON, Ore. -- Want to be in a movie?
"Thumbsucker," a new movie starring Keanu Reeves, Matthew McConaughey and Vincent D'Onofrio, is set to begin filming July 9.
Northwest Extras, the company in charge of casting the rest of the movie, is looking for people of all ages, shapes and sizes.
If you're interested, gather your color snapshot (waist or shoulder high), resume, name, address, phone number, e-mail address, date of birth, height, weight, eye color and times when you'll be out of town this summer.
Wait a minute, "when you'll be out of town"?
I wonder if they're looking for extras or places for the crew to crash?
The Viper Room's Club Camaro page has got its gallery for May finally up.
There's a bunch of pictures of people with questionable hairdos and morals having what looks to be a really good time.
There's also a couple of this one bass player that I'd really like to fuck....
What? I never said I had any morals. I do have great hair though.
So keep your eye on the Club Camaro page, hopefully the June Gallery will be up before the end of July.
Speaking of July, word is that there may be some upcoming L.A. shows next month and that the CD is done, I'll keep you posted if I hear any details. Also, keep an eye on the official becky site for some new song samples.
...you'll make the baby lemurs cry.
Tomorrow night, Suburban Legends plays The Knitting Factory - Hollywood, CA w/ Let's Go Bowling, Nuckle Brothers, and Starpool to celebrate the release of their first full-length CD, Rump Shaker.
Believe me, if you live in the area you should catch them live, they put on the Greatest. Show. EVER.
But seriously, you want to see them live.
Is it a crime to Feel the way you want to feel If it feels good inside If they tell you Nothing's easy It's because they haven't tried She looks behind her And she sees everything She shouldn't have to see Or want to see again Understand me Feel the way that I do And you will be alright Understand me and reach out to What is right in front And waiting there for you-tonight She looks behind her And she sees everything She shouldn't have to see Or want to see again She looks behind her And she sees al the things That keep her from being again Is it a crime to feel The way you want to feel If it feels bad inside Understand me Feel the way that I do And you will be alive Tonight She looks behind her And she sees everything She shouldn't have to see Or want to see again She looks behind her And she sees all the things That keep her from being again-tonight
---BEHIND HER from the Quattro Formaggi CD
written by Bret Domrose
This reminds me, I still have some Quattro Formaggi CDs to give away.
SO, to celebrate this Ass Friday, the first three people that leave a comment with the words "YES, I want a QF CD." in it (so I don't get confused) and a VALID email address* (so I can contact you for your info) will get a FREE Quattro Formaggi CD from me.
How easy is that?
*Remember, if you put something in the URL box you can keep your email from showing on the site, but I will still get it, so if you want to keep your addy private, that's what you should do.
I'm eagerly awaiting an order of a few issues of Hellblazer written by Warren Ellis. I figured it would be wise to read one of his runs before I write him and ask him to comment on the upcoming movie. Here's hoping he doesn't just tell me to fuck off, although I'd surely print that email out for the scrapbook.
FilmForce has seen twenty pages from the screenplay for Constantine, Warner Brothers' upcoming feature film adaptation of the Vertigo comic book John Constantine: Hellblazer. Keanu Reeves has been cast in the lead role of occult investigator John Constantine.
The news is fairly spoilerific so if you want to know more about the plot and the characters that they are currently casting, click the Filmforce quote there.
Likewise, purists shouldn't click the extended entry link, either.
OK, so I've seen these script pages* and while you don't get a whole lot of info on the John Constantine character or anything, it does give you a feel for things.
But there's no telling how close they are to what will eventually be the final script. They are basically audition tools for the other roles in the film.
Of course, there's the female lead, Angela. I believe this character was written for the movie and not based on any of the existing comic characters. In my mind I picture Linda Fiorentino, mainly just because she looks like an Angela to me.
Then there is Beeman, who the source describes as "sort of the "Q" to Constantine's James Bond." I have no idea of the age of the character or if he is based on anyone from the comic. They just say he's "diminutive". I wouldn't be at all suprised if the put someone like Seth Green as Beeman, the role basically being the occult equivalent of a gadget geek.
Then there is Chaz, who is apparently based on a major character in the comic, Frank "Chas" Chandler (the comic fans are a little miffy about the whole "z" thing). I'm going to have to re-read some of the Hellblazer issues I have to get reaquainted with Chas. It seems like he's somewhat of a "sidekick" in the movie, so here's hoping they can find someone witch that good chemistry and timing like John Hawkes did in Hardball.
One good thing is that I've read some reactions to these pages by fans of the Hellblazer comic and a few of them have some hope that Constantine will have enough Hellblazer elements to not completely depress them. They're still not terribly enthusiastic about Keanu playing the beloved bastard, but hopefully his performance will prove them wrong.
*No, I will not post the pages or how to get them, so don't even ask. I will say that you already have enough information to find them yourself. It may not be staring you right in the face, but you have it.
Do NOT forget, dumbass.
Just yesterday I mentioned giving up sugar....
Here's Keanu's horoscope from freewillastrology.com :
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The World Health Organization says
that a good diet should consist of no more than 10 percent sugar. Lobbyists for the sugar industry disagree. They maintain that you'll be fine as long as no more than 25 percent of your food and drink contains their favorite product. In regards to your current needs, Virgo, I disagree with both assessments. Since you're in a phase when you need to toughen up, strengthen your will, and think leaner and meaner, I believe you should temporarily limit your sugar intake to 3 percent or less.
A-ha! "But krix isn't a Virgo" you say...
Of course not, that would be too obvious.
That Brezsny....he's diabolical.
Hey, if you were bummed that your local IMAX wasn't showing Reloaded a couple weeks ago, I highly recommend that you check the list of theaters again. I just found out that it IS playing here now and I'm ever so happy.
When I was grudgingly paying bills this morning, I realized that one of my credit card payments goes to Beaverton.
So I just couldn't help putting a little note on the back of the envelope.
PORTLAND - There's an open casting call for young men who want to star alongside Keanu Reeves and Matthew McConaughey.
The casting director of "Thumbsucker" is looking for 10 to 13 year old boys for the supporting lead role of "Joel."
The open casting call will be held Thursday from 11:00 A.M. to 5:00 P.M. at 3829 Northeast Tillamook Street in Portland.
keanu.org doth rawk as well.
It just may unofficially be BEARD Week here at keanuvision...
To run like Keanu you need stamina. To add a cardiovascular element to your workout, experts at Fitness First Cardiff West suggest the following exercise: run on the spot for 10 seconds, then jump in the air, and land in the lunge position (with one leg in front, with the knee bent at up to 90 degrees, and the other leg out behind to stabilise you). Jump back to run on the spot, and continue until you can't go on.
For dodging bullets by bending over backwards, you need ... strong abs
Remember the amazing scene (in the original) where Neo (Keanu Reeves's character) fell back in slow motion to avoid the bullets? It has inspired this exercise. Obviously, you won't be able to do it quite like Keanu without a special-effects machine.
Lie on an exercise ball, so that the ball is supporting your lower back. Keep your knees at a 90-degree angle, your feet flat on the floor, and keep your head in line with the rest of your spine, as above. Raise your arms, take a ball from your training partner, and lie back, taking the ball over your head. Draw your abs in, exhale and, with straight arms, crunch forward, raising your shoulders off the supporting ball to give the smaller ball you are holding back to your partner.
To punch your way out of a tighter corner you need ... to practise jabs and crosses.
This is an age-old fighting skill, but one still applicable when facing futuristic monsters. Speed is what's important here.
How to: Holding small weights, take up the Standard Boxing Stance, with hands raised in the "guard" position. Put one foot forward and one back (if right-handed, start with the right foot forward) with your weight distributed evenly between your feet. Jab straight forward with your leading hand, then, swivelling your body so that your back heel comes off the floor, throw a "cross" punch with the other hand.
To tackle the bad guys with high kicks, you need ... strength in all your thigh muscles.
Balance and control is the basis of all martial-arts kicking. This will help you with both.
How to: Stand with your feet directly beneath your hips, and your hands raised in the "guard" position, as left.
Raise your right knee in front of you, then swivel it out to the side and kick out at hip height. Bring your knee back to the centre, then lower your foot. Repeat to the other side.
To jump across rooftops, you need ... power in your thigh muscles.
Your quads and hamstrings are where the explosive power in your legs comes from.
How to: Stand with your feet more than hip width apart, with a football in front of you. Sit backwards into a squat, keeping your knees over your heels. Don't lean forward. Pick up the ball and then, pushing through your heels, jump up from the squat position, as above. Sink back into a squat, put down the ball, and jump, this time raising your arms above your head.
To develop the core strength you need for side-kicks you must work the outer thigh and bottom muscles.
In the films, the ability to side-kick is key.
How to: Stand with feet more than hip-width apart, sink into a squat as above (either alone or holding your training partner's hands, as above), then come up and kick one leg to the side at waist-level. Repeat, kicking with the other leg.
Now, I'm actually looking for some sort of fitness program (I'm giving up coffee, sugar and cigarettes all at the same time, I think I need to cultivate an endorphin addiction). I think with a little motivation or perhaps the right personal trainer *cough*KeanuReeves*cough*, I could get into this.
Of course, there's always the scurvilicious "Little Buddha Orange Fast"or the Conor O'Neill diet, which involves living on cigarettes, beer and one slice of pizza a day. Of course, running from your bookie is great for cardio.
I used to favor Keanu's face baby smooth, or maybe with just a day or so of stubble. But lately, I've come to appreciate the scruffy scraggley beard. Especially with a nice suit. It just gets to me.
PORTLAND, OR 2003-06-20 (Oregon Considered) - Next month, a small movie crew and a few Hollywood stars--will be in Beaverton to shoot the new movie "Thumbsucker." The independent film--which stars Keanu Reeves and Mathew McConnaughey--follows the story of an insecure high schooler who still sucks his thumb. By Hollywood standards, it's a small-scale project coming in with a budget of only $3 million. But it's just the kind of economic development project the state is eager to get. On a brightly lit sound stage in Northwest Portland, Governor Ted Kulongoski sits in a director's chair, surrounded by movie types. He casually jokes about how he nabbed "Thumbsucker" and its star Keanu Reeves.
Governor Kulongoski: Beaverton! (laughs)
Mike Mills: Keanu Reeves often mentions Beaverton! (group laughs)
Beaverton will serve as the backdrop for this light comedy about a high schooler who struggles to gain confidence in himself and his family.
The story is based on the novel "Thumbsucker," by Walter Kirn.
Director Mike Mills says when he was scouting sites, Beaverton and northwest Oregon grabbed his attention immediately.
Mike Mills: We're going everywhere from Trillium Lake up by Mt. Hood to Vernonia to Beaverton is kind of the heart of the shoot. And that's all two and half hours away. So for us production-wise it's an amazing number of places.
Mills says production will be low-key and neighbors won't even know they're there. But he and producer Anthony Bergman says Beaverton will have a clear presence in the film.
Mike Mills: We even wrote in hall street Restaurant into the script the other day and there may be a shot of the Beaverton sign in the beginning.
Anthony Bergman: and if you're walking in downtown Beaverton while we're shooting, we'll enlist you as an extra (laughs).
This kind of exposure is exactly what Governor Kulongoski wants. He's made recruiting movie and TV projects a significant part of his economic development plans for the state. In the case of "Thumbsucker," the governor authorized spending $100,000 from his Strategic Reserve Fund to entice the filmmakers to come to Oregon. Kulongoski says it's the kind of investment that pays for itself.
Governor Kulongoski: This production will have about 75 actors both out and within the state and there's about 300 extras. That puts a substantial amount of money in the local economies here, so it's a great return for us.
In the case of last year's movie "The Hunted"--which was shot in Portland and the Willamette Valley--there was a $30 million return to the state. Part of the terms of the "Thumbsucker" deal is that the filmmakers must prove they've spent a substantial amount of money in Oregon. A similar you-pay/we'll pay proposal is making it's way through the legislature. Senate Bill 313 would offer movie and TV productions a 10% rebate on their spending in Oregon up to $25,000. In return, the filmmakers must spend at least a million dollars in the state. Governor Kulongoski says it's the kind of incentive necessary to stem the tide of moviemakers going to Canada, where there are special tax incentives and a favorable exchange rate.
Governor Kulongoski: What we want to do is be much more competitive and get them to stop here in Oregon.
The crew of "Thumbsucker" will arrive in Beaverton on July 9th. In addition to Keanu Reeves, the film will also star Matthew McConnaughey, Vincent D'Onofrio and newcomer Lou Taylor [Pucci]. Filming is expected to take several weeks.
Even having the best of intentions on the LA trip, "Oooh, were going to see becky for the first time, oooooh we're supporting the band, oooooh good friends! good times!!.....", once the freaking bass player comes out showing off a cantaloupe wedge-sized peek of his fleshy underside it's really hard to focus on the music.
Here's audio proof of the effect of ripped jeans on me on the voicemonkey from that night, in case you missed it.
Of course, I wept for Ass Friday, knowing I didn't bring a camera and was not going to be able to preserve his peekaboo posterior for posterity.
But then, glee! Someone had captured the holey grail of ass, and she had it up over at the darkroom at casafeliz.net. And the coolest part is, when I wrote Shelly for permission to use the pic, I found out that we had actually met that night while waiting in line!
I love when things like that happen. It's ass-karma, that's what it is.
(via the flingus blog)
For my own personal archive purposes mostly, I'm posting it in its entirety (most of it in the extended entry-it's very long), with attribution to the author, Eric Furze, and with some hyperlinks inserted.
If anyone knows of the original source (I believe this made some email rounds) I'd like to properly credit that as well.
UPDATE: Thank you to the author, Eric Furze for stopping to comment and for letting me know that the final draft of this insightful piece can be found here, at Mataphilm.com. Go and read that version.
It will feed your mind.
Jesus, Buddha, and Gödel : Unraveling the Matrix Mythos
By Eric Furze
What do Christianity, Zen and formal mathematical logic have in common? If you look closely, “The Matrix: Reloaded” will tell you; beneath its shiny, heavily stylized surface, the second installment of the “Matrix” trilogy reveals a mythological sophistication that surpasses anything the genre has produced before. The trilogy’s penchant for religious iconography is, of course, already a widely celebrated phenomenon – philosophical essays on Neo’s messianic qualities began appearing in magazines and on websites shortly after the film was released in 1999 – but what has yet to be understood is that “Reloaded” profoundly redefines the structure and scope of that symbolism. While “The Matrix” was content to simply update ancient myths with modern images, the release of “Reloaded” reveals the Wachowskis to be attempting something much more ambitious: a synthesis of Oriental and Occidental mythology wholly new to the western literary tradition. If “Revolutions” can complete what “Reloaded” has begun, in fact, the trilogy could very well become the first mythology to unite East with West since the dawn of Occidental culture over 2500 years ago.
But the Wachowskis have more on their bookshelf than the Bible and the Ramayana, and in order to fully understand the framework of their creation, it is first necessary to grapple with a seminal, and famously difficult, result from mathematical logic. Fortunately, this detour through the esoteric is worthwhile: the good thing about math is that it is, if nothing else, predictable. The Wachowskis have adhered to it so faithfully, in fact, that its structure is readily visible and points to some fairly unavoidable conclusions about how the trilogy will resolve itself in its upcoming final installment.
Much more below. Might be spoilery in some sense, but it's really only philisophical speculation.
I. The Gödel Sentence and The One
Structurally, the mythology of the Matrix is patterned directly after a central result in 20th-century mathematical logic known as the Incompleteness Theorem, first discovered by the Austrian logician Kurt Gödel in the early 1930’s. For an excellent, mostly non-technical introduction to the Incompleteness Theorem, the interested reader is referred to “Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid” by Douglas Hofstadter. (There are also numerous websites dedicated to the topic, though they vary considerably in both didactic quality and requisite level of mathematical background.)
Gödel was able to demonstrate that any “formal system,” of which mathematics and computers are examples, is inherently incomplete. “Incomplete” has a very specific technical meaning; in broad strokes it means that there are truths that exist within a system that are not provable using the rules of that system. If the system is a set of mathematical axioms, this means that there are mathematical truths which are not provable (or “decidable”) using those axioms. Such an unprovable truth is known as a Gödel Sentence (G) and all formal systems have them (each particular system having its own unique G).
The relationship between Gödel and the Matrix is made evident when Neo confronts the Architect at the end of “Reloaded.” It is explained to him that:
Your life is the sum of the remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the Matrix. You are the eventuality of an anomaly which … is systemic, creating fluctuations in even the most simplistic equations.
Neo is a destabilizing anomaly inherent to every conceivable Matrix: in the language of mathematics, he is the Gödel Sentence itself.
The Prophecy of The One revolves around the fact that the Matrix is a computer and therefore is nothing more than just another formal system. As such, it is inherently incomplete and so there exists for that system the equivalent of a Gödel Sentence, G, which is true but undecidable within its framework. Neo, as The One, is the organic instantiation of G for the formal system of the Matrix. The Incompleteness Theorem tells us that every system has a G just as, in the movie, every version of the Matrix inevitably produces its own incarnation of The One.
According to the Architect’s explanation, whenever G for a particular version of the Matrix is found (i.e. The One is born) its incompatibility with the rules of the system leads inexorably to a “cataclysmic system crash.” In “Reloaded,” this progressive system failure is embodied by Agent Smith. Notice, for example, that his 'new purpose' was a direct and immediate result of Neo assuming his role as The One; he is the destructive consequence of the Gödel Sentence. His continuing 'replication' is simply the exponential spread of the instability (or anomaly) throughout the Matrix, and once it reaches all parts of the system (remember Smith admitting to "wanting everything"?) the Matrix will crash.
Fortunately for the Matrix, there is a way to avoid this disaster scenario. Mathematically speaking, any formal system can be ‘saved’ from a given G by simply incorporating that G into its axiom schema: making it a by-definition part of the system, thereby removing its undecidability. Within the framework of the movie, this is accomplished by having The One “return to the source,” which renews the Matrix and saves it from the instability introduced by his arrival. This is not a permanent fix, however: this new version of the Matrix is susceptible to its own version of the Gödel Sentence, which will ultimately lead to the birth of yet another One and a continuing cycle of death-and-rebirth of the system, ad infinitum. According to the Architect, what happens in the movie takes place during the fifth repetition of that cycle.
That’s the end of the math, but it is only the beginning of the story of “The Matrix,” for while mathematics provides the foundation, the Wachowskis have looked elsewhere for the materials with which to build their mythological edifice.
II. The Hero’s Journey
As the comparative mythologist Joseph Campbell described in “The Hero With a Thousand Faces,” there are symbols and patterns which are common to myths and religions the world over, regardless of culture or era. This commonality manifests itself in what Campbell called the hero’s journey: a cycle of separation, initiation, and return that provides the structure on which the vast majority of myth is built. It is exemplified, for instance, by the “Star Wars” trilogy (which George Lucas admits borrowed heavily from Campbell’s work): Luke, the hero, leaves his home on Tatooine, proceeds along a road of trials through which he is initiated into his role of Jedi, and then returns to Tatooine to rescue his friends and, ultimately, liberate society. Another example, from ancient Greece, is “The Odyssey”: Odysseus leaves to fight against Troy, has a long road of adventure, and ultimately returns home to his reward. The Oriental tradition has the story of Buddha: Prince Gotama leaves his father’s home to discover the true nature of the world and in so doing awakens to his role as the Buddha. He then returns home as a teacher and guide to enlightenment. The list of examples is endless.
The fundamental difference between the Occidental and Oriental modes of the hero’s journey lies in the nature of the hero’s awakening. The Occidental hero succeeds by gaining relationship with the source of divine power external to himself (e.g., Luke gets his power from The Force, Christ gets his power through his relationship with God the Father). The Oriental hero, by contrast, awakens not by communing with a separately individuated divinity but by recognizing within himself the power of the divine (recognizing the godhead within, as the Buddha would say). The Buddha achieved enlightenment by realizing his lack of individual identity or ego: he was simply a part of a greater universal consciousness. The differing Eastern and Western mythological traditions spring, at their most basic, from these different understandings of humankind’s relationship with the divine. The Oriental hero recognizes his own divinity; the Occidental hero, separate from the divine, establishes a relationship with it.
What is unique about the “Matrix” trilogy is that it blends both the Occidental and Oriental modes of the hero’s journey. The 'ordinary' cycle of the Matrix, as explained by The Architect, is very clearly an example of the Eternal Return common to myths of the Orient: a static, never-ending cycle of life and death punctuated by the repeated incarnation of a world-saving hero. The first movie was the hero's journey in the Oriental mode (despite the popular, though inappropriate, identification of Neo with Christ in that movie): the protagonist succeeds via a transformative realization in which he recognizes within himself (in contrast to the Occidental mode) the unity of life and power of the divine. In that sense, the first movie was about Neo awakening to become the Buddha and, accordingly, that movie was rife with references to, and symbols of, Eastern mythology (e.g. bald, enlightened, lotus-sitting children dispensing Zen-koan-like wisdom and bending spoons with their mind).
“Reloaded,” however, breaks from this tradition when Neo refuses to fulfill his "Buddha destiny" of merging his consciousness with the Universal in continuation of the cosmic cycle (which is what would have happened had he chosen the “door on the right,” and it would have been the typical conclusion to an Oriental myth). Neo instead embraces the Occidental mode of the hero's journey, in which the protagonist succeeds by gaining connection with the power of the divine beyond himself. He affirms his individual identity (as opposed to the egoless monad of the Oriental tradition) in the most fundamentally human way possible: he chooses the romantic love of Trinity. In so doing, he turns away from his Oriental destiny and towards his Occidental one.
It is in this sense, then, that Neo becomes the Christ figure. If the Matrix is about choice then Neo, in his role as The One, is choosing for the entire population of still-connected humanity, choosing an existence apart from the Imposed Choice of the Matrix. Just as Christ fulfilled the law so that Christians would be free of the law, Neo will (presumably) fulfill his choice so that humanity can be free of that choice. What that fulfillment for Neo will actually entail has yet to been seen, but undoubtedly it will involve his confrontation and destruction of Agent Smith, the embodiment of the anomaly (sin) inherent to every human.
The identification of “choice” in the Matrix with “sin” in the Christian tradition can be understood by recognizing the first “perfect” Matrix as representative of the Garden of Eden. Biblically speaking, Eden represents a state of Man without knowledge of good and evil and therefore without the ability to choose between them. By introducing choice into the Matrix, as the Architect explains was a necessary evolution, humanity is banished from Eden, banished from the ‘perfection’ of the matrix without choice. Original sin is what drove man from Eden just as the first 'perfect' Matrix was doomed because of the "imperfection inherent to every human being." Christ died to free humanity from the stain of Original Sin; Neo will die to free humanity from the bondage of Imposed Choice.
III. East Meets West and What “Revolutions” Has in Store
At their most basic, the Oriental mythological forms are far older than those of the West: they stretch back to the very dawn of civilization, predating all known religious traditions. Zoroastrianism, around the turn of the first millennium B.C., was the first religious system to introduce the concepts and patterns which distinguished the Occident from this older tradition (the dates ascribed to Zoroaster vary rather widely, but by the time of the Jewish enslavement at the hands of the Babylonians in the sixth century B.C. Zoroastrianism had already become the dominant religion of the Persian Empire). From that branching point began the ever-widening gap between the Occidental and Oriental religious traditions that today divide the world into East and West. In the East, the unity of life and the never ending cycle of death and rebirth held sway; in the West, the inevitability of death, the separation from God and the yearn for return.
The interesting thing about the mythos of “The Matrix” is that it has managed to combine the Eastern and Western mythological traditions by creating, in Neo, a “hero’s hero” of sorts: a character who possesses the redemptive power of both Buddha and Christ, the egoless and the individuated, identification and relationship. The Wachowskis are certainly the first within the cinematic community to succeed at anything like this, and are perhaps breaking ground in wider arenas as well. They have created a proto-myth which is attempting to unify what became divided at the beginning of the Zoroastrian tradition. While within the Matrix, Neo functions in his role as the Buddha: at one with everything, able to manipulate ‘reality’ at will. Outside the Matrix, in the ‘real’ world, Neo will function as a Christ figure: apart from divinity but able, through his relationship with it, to direct its power.
What, then, does all this point to in terms of what we can expect from “Revolutions”? Nothing is certain, of course, but there seem to be some likely possibilities.
First up is the question of how Neo managed to stop the sentinels at the end of “Reloaded.” The mythological structure just formulated provides some answers which manage to explain this mystery without resorting to something as banal and unimaginative as – to take a popular online theory – a Matrix within a Matrix. Since it happened in the real world, Neo was necessarily functioning in his Occidental role as the Christ. It was therefore not accomplished through any organic power inherent to Neo himself, but rather he was able to somehow communicate with the “God of the machines” (presumably the Architect) and through that communication control the behavior of machines in the real world. That is, Neo (by some physical channel that has yet to be made clear – perhaps via a device implanted in his body along with his plugs and input jacks and not activated until he chose “the door on the left”) essentially “prayed” to the Architect, asking him to stop what was about to destroy him. The Architect, being a benign divinity, had mercy and complied. This will require confirmation in “Revolutions,” of course, but it seems, for now, to be a reasonably satisfying explanation.
If “Revolutions” has Neo continuing in the pattern of Christ, he likely must die in the real world before assuming the proper role of savior (just as, to assume his role as Buddha, he died in the virtual world of the Matrix). The mechanism of that death has already been hinted at, with Bane being an obvious candidate to play the role of Judas: perhaps he will “betray” Neo by convincing the council (or even Morpheus himself) that The One’s choice has doomed the Matrix and that it can only be saved by sacrificing Neo. Morpheus would actually be an interesting choice as it would provide a compelling parallel to the New Testament: Christ was, after all, crucified at the behest of the Pharisees, the leaders of the old religious tradition. But whatever the mechanism, that death will result in Neo being sent, like Christ, to hell: presumably to be symbolized by a Matrix completely taken over by Smith. Neo will enter this hell to confront and ultimately defeat Smith, thereby banishing the anomaly from the Matrix and saving (in both the literal and mythological sense) every person still plugged in.
Fulfilling his destiny, Neo will return (resurrect) to the real world where he will assume his true role of savior: he will be a means of communication with the machines through which humanity will be able save itself from the wrath of the sentinels. He will enable the establishment of a true relationship between humans and machines, just as Christ enabled the establishment of a relationship of expiation and forgiveness with God the Father (John 14:6, “I am the way … No one reaches the Father except through me”). This relationship liberates believing Christians from the burden of Judaic Law just as Neo will liberate humanity from the bonds of the Matrix and spare Zion from the wrath of the sentinels.
In the garden of Eden grew two trees of particular significance: the Tree of Knowledge and the Tree of Life. When Adam tasted of the Tree of Knowledge, God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, lest he stretch out his hand and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever” … So He drove man out; and at the east of the garden of Eden He stationed the cherubim, and the flaming sword which turned every direction, to guard the way to the tree of life (Genesis 3:22-24)
As Campbell explains in his volume on Oriental mythology, thence comes the separation between East and West:
Of the tree that grows in the garden where God walks in the cool of the day, the wise men westward of Iran have partaken of the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil, whereas those on the other side of that cultural divide have relished only the fruit of eternal life. And if man should taste of both fruits he would become, we have been told, as God himself – which is the boon that the meeting of East and West today is offering to us all.
This boon is exactly what the Wachowskis are aiming for: a union of Eastern and Western religious traditions. Assuming “Revolutions” is able to finish what “Reloaded” has begun, the “Matrix” trilogy is virtually assured of becoming the definitive sci-fi mythology of this generation. And, if it does things really right, perhaps even the first universal myth of the post-globalization era. What Zoroaster divided, let the Wachowskis reunite.
Hot Topic has Reloaded-inspired coats. If I were to get one for myself, I would probably go with the silver twins-style. I'm not too keen on the cossack style, but it could just be the model.
I'm a little spoiled as to how it should look.
Eeeeeeeep! Not Matrix-related but I MUST HAVE a Sid Vicious Action Figure!
Here's a look at the first teaser poster for The Matrix Revolutions (Yay! 140 days!). I like it. Nice and simple, but still intriguing.
You can get a look at it a little bigger over here.
I really need to go see Reloaded again this week. I haven't even started trying to figure out what might happen in Revolutions.
If you think you do, you can go over to The Masked reviewer's site, where he's having a contest to predict just what the hell will go on in the final part of the trilogy. (via matrix essays)
I hope the soundtrack is good.
Send more Rob D.
Meanwhile, also over at the Official Matrix Site, I see there are a few new things to check out, including that they are auctioning off Niobe's costume for charity. If anyone has a spare 10k laying about, it's for a good cause.
Oh, and go say hi to the Miketrix. Groovy design.
I'm sure that this really doesn't need to be pointed out, but...
HYPERBOLE - hy·per·bo·le
Etymology: Latin, from Greek hyperbolE excess, hyperbole, hyperbola, from hyperballein to exceed, from hyper- + ballein to throw
Date: 15th century
: extravagant exaggeration (as "mile-high ice-cream cones")
- hy·per·bo·list /-list/ noun
Bunsen is a great and entertaining writer. Read the rest of his stuff. I think you will see his style.
He left the link to his entry about Keanu and the Viper Room days ago in my comments on this entry. I read it, it was cute. But I'm not in the habit of linking other bloggers getting snarky on the object of my affection (from a mere comment at least), so I didn't think anything more of it.
I never thought some of the other sites would pick up on it as truth.
Well done, Bunsen. Way to work a fandom into a tizzy.
Quintessential king of screenplay snark, Rod Hilton of The Editing Room has his version of the abridged script of The Matrix Reloaded (I'm linking to the printer friendly version as I keep getting php errors, let me know if it doesn't work).
What was the Osiris? And who was
that kid in zion who kept pestering
You will find the answers to these
questions by purchasing The
Animatrix, a collection of nine
animated shorts from some of Anime's
Alright. Well, what was that crap
Glora said about vampires and
werewolves? And how did Jada Pinkett
Smith get to Laurence Fishburne
during the car chase? And what the
hell happened during the power plant
takeover climax that-wasn't?
You will find the answers to those
questions by purchasing the Enter
The Matrix game, available for
Windows, Playstation2, Xbox, and
Gamecube. Enter the Matrix features
awesome gunplay and spectacular
martial arts that bend the rules of
the Matrix. This game isn't just
set in the Matrix universe--it's an
integral part of the experience,
with a story that weaves in and out
of The Matrix Reloaded. Enter the
Matrix is the story behind the
Fine! Then tell me this, what the
hell is with Hugo Weaving saying he
and I have some special connection?
And how come I can control machines
in the real world? And will we win
the war if I don't choose the door
to my right?
You will find the answers to these
questions when you watch The Matrix
Revolutions, coming later in 2003.
I hate you.
Perhaps you should drink more
Go check out The Editing Room.
I used to prefer my Keanu clean shaven but I have come to appreciate the scruffy bearded look as well. Especially with the hair this length.
ahem....anyway, if you want to check out some pictures of Reeves in all his scruffy goodness from the most recent becky shows you can see Jen's at the Yahoo Group KeanuA-Z and also I believe there are some at a place called Casa Feliz' Darkroom. Registration required for both, but surely worth it.
In movie news, ComingSoon.net has a little bit on Thumbsucker from Variety:
Bull's Eye Entertainment will finance and produce the dark coming-of-age comedy "Thumbsucker," with Matthew McConaughey and Vincent D'Onofrio added to an ensemble cast that includes Keanu Reeves and Tilda Swinton.
Set for a July 9 start in Beaverton, Ore., Mike Mills will make his feature-helming bow with the adaptation of Walter Kirn's novel.
Scripted by Mills, "Thumbsucker" is the story of an anxious teen with a serious thumb-sucking habit. In desperation, he turns to the only sensible people he knows: an orthodontist (Reeves) and a high school debate coach (McConaughey).
Anthony Bregman of This Is That and Bob Stephenson of Cinema-Go-Go produce the pic. Exec producers are This Is That's Ted Hope and Anne Carey, along with Bob Yari and Cathy Schulman of Bull's Eye. Jay Shapiro of Cinema-Go-Go will co-exec produce.
I guess Elijah Wood is no longer cast in the title role in Thumbsucker. Maybe they should give it to that Culkin kid or maybe the guy from Almost Famous. (Can you tell I don't pay attention to any other actors?)
And I guess Keanu is back east, still working on the "Just how freaking hard is it to name a movie anyway?" Untitled Nancy Meyers "Christmas Project".
I actually had to go to Liz Smith for this little bit of info:
OH, YES, they're having a hot time in the Hamptons. Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton, Keanu Reeves and Amanda Peet have been filming the much-talked-about Nancy Meyers' "Christmas project" - that is, a movie with no title yet. These biggies rented houses in the Hamptons, and they filmed all over the place, including the mansions on Meadow Lane.
Now the stars are in Manhattan briefly before going to Paris. Nancy dreamed up this Christmastime project for Columbia after being divorced from her director-husband, Chuck Shyer, some years back. She'd rented a house in Sagaponack to recuperate and had an idea about an ad guy, 63, dating a young beauty, 29. She takes him home to mother, 55, on Long Island. A stint in the Southampton hospital brings them all together with a handsome doctor, 30.
Guess what happens next? Some people call this "The Older Woman's Revenge," but I'm sure they'll think of something better to name it for the marquee. Meyers' credits include "What Women Want," "Private Benjamin," "Father of the Bride" and comedies of that ilk.
The more I hear about this movie, the less I want to see it.
Oh, and as far as some other gossipy stuff related to this one, all I have to say is...the man's got to eat, eh?
Lastly, because god knows every comic-based "superhero" movie that's been completely re-tooled by Hollywood needs a romantic subplot, Constantine is still looking to cast the role of Angela, a female cop.
I'd audition but badges and navy blue make my ass look huge.
You heard the sweetie lead singer Tyson on the voicemonkey, now go hear him and the rest of these killer kiwis rock. They take the stage at the Troub at about 8:45 tonight.
And kiss Brad for me!
Thanks to becky's Paulie for this news
Have you checked out "The Matrix parody to end all of those damn Matrix parodies", Dominic Mah's The Matrices?
You should go to iFilm and do that.
I know. These outages are a huge pain.
Is it just me? or are Keanu sites are dropping like flies.....?
All gone or on a break.
I'm sure there are others that are just no longer updated.
Reeves Drive can be found here until the regular domain resolves.
I feel like the red cross after an earthquake.
Anyway, I just want to say that I have no plans to go anywhere, but I am going to be turning it down a notch. So don't worry if you don't see something new here every day. I need a little break, and last weekend doesn't count.
Believe me, it SO does not count.
Besides, Roi wants to teach me to play bass.
Today's Ass Friday is brought to you by the Anthrax "Safe Home" video.
*Special thanks to Jen for the title and heads up that this video was perfect for ass grabbery
Well, not really.
But it was kind of neat.
At some point in my evolution as a Keanu Reeves fan, I decided that there was no way I was going to be part of a throng of people hovering and vying for his attention, or part of a line of "meet and greeters" shuffling cattle-like past a folding table, either. If I happened to ever be at the right place at the right time- groovy, if not - it wasn't meant to be. I don't go to shows with an expectation of anything other than seeing the band on stage and having fun with my friends. Anything beyond that is just icing on a big loud Stoli-Vanilla flavored cake.
But, like many fans, I have spent at least a few idle moments devoting daydreams thinking about what I might say to Keanu if I ever did get the chance to meet him. Basically, I just didn't want to say anything stupid.
So, on Monday night, after becky was finished playing and I was talking to a girl near the front of the stage I realized that Mr. Reeves would probably be walking down the steps I was near so I decided to wait and see. But there wasn't a lot of people around so then I pretty much assumed that since the other band members came out this side of the stage, that he had slipped out the other side and went out the door on Sunset. I figured he was outside having a cigarette and once again I was at the wrong place at the right time.
Then, he did come out and was being led by a very large security guy down the stairs off the stage and about to go right past me.
What did I say? What came out of my mouth after mentally rehearsing this moment for the past couple years?
Yep. Brilliant huh? Didn't even say his name.
Then someone on the other side of me gave him something. I don't know if it was a book or what, but let me offer this bit of advice as someone who saw his face as he held whatever this was in his hand....
Don't give him things. It looked like it made him uncomfortable.
Of course, I could see that our Mister Reeves needed to be rescued from this awkward situation so I stepped up and said the magic word "Hi", again.
He looked at me and I offered my hand and he took it and I said the only thing that I could think of that he hadn't already heard a bajillion times, "my name is krix" and shook his hand. It was a pretty average handshake. No electricity surged through me. It wasn't light, it wasn't firm...it just was.
As we shook hands he said, "Hi krix, thanks for coming out."
I said something back to him. I have no idea what.
See, everything was cool until this point, but then it gets blurry.
When Keanu Reeves has hold of your hand, is looking you in the eyes and says your name everything else, including the words coming out of your own mouth, sounds pretty much like white noise.
I'm pretty sure I said something complimentary about the show. I fear I may have used the word "awesome" but really can't remember. All I know is at least I didn't throw the goat and blurt out "You RAWK, Dood!".
Then the moment was over and he was gone.
Which was fine, because I really needed a cigarette.
Wheee! The Matrix Reloaded opens in IMAX theaters today.
Click the banner above to go to the IMAX site for info, or head over to MatrixFans.net for a list of theaters.
It's not scheduled to play at the IMAX here at Vegas, because this town sucks that way...so this weekend I'm going to seize the chance to go while I'm in LA.
Keanu, six stories high.
I really wanted to do a becky bass player ass friday today, and this slight profile was the best I could do.
Maybe I'll get lucky and get stuck behind him on an escalator or something this weekend.
No One Can Tell You (What The Chronic Is)
by Tom of Matrix Essays
(If The Matrix: Reloaded were a gangsta rap video)
[Music: Fade in background music, distant gunshots, distant sirens. Cross fade to sounds of glasses clinking and women moaning.]
[Visual: The camera pans across the park where, in Reloaded, Neo meets with the Oracle and then fights Agent Smith. A group of Fly Girls are standing up against the walls, waiting.]
Morpheus (speaking, as voice-over): No one can tell you what the chronic is, you have to smoke it for yourself.
[Music: A rap beat begins.]
[Visual: Neo drives up in a tricked-out black convertible, which is visibly shaking from its massive stereo system pounding out the beat. Neo steps out, leans back against the car, takes a final drag on his blunt and tosses it on the ground.]
Yo, Cypher was a zero but I'm the One.
I'm the reloaded hero with the big black gun.
I was born in the Matrix, y'all, back in the hood
but I took the red pill and it went down good
with an Absolut chaser and a twist o' lime.
In the desert of the real I'm a bust a rhyme.
I can walk a tightrope after drinkin' a fifth,
stop a bullet in the air, slap Agent Smith
straight down to the floor, plumb through to the cella,
and I'm mackin' every tasty little Zion cave dwella.
Blowin' into your town like a pimp typhoon,
stirrin' coffee with my mind 'cause there ain't no spoon.
[Visual: the Fly Girls step away from the wall and start a slow, undulating dance.]
Fly Girls (singing):
No one can tell you what the chronic is,
you have to smoke it for yourself. Ooooh-ooo-ooooh.
No one can tell you what the chronic is,
you have to smoke it for yourself.
I'm the N to the E-O, a man of means,
mad kung fu skillz to submarine the machines,
now I'm takin' my game to the digitized streets
where the sucka AI's know I can't be beat.
Not afraid of algorithms or electronics --
I trump the chumps 'cause I've got the chronic.
I'm high on the red pill, down with the truth,
if I got to jack out, I got a telephone booth.
I'm the O-N-E and my story's allegorical,
y'all watch me now while I kick it with the Oracle.
[Visual: the Fly Girls' dancing becomes more aggressive and acrobatic.]
Fly Girls (singing):
No one can tell you what the chronic is,
you have to smoke it for yourself. Ooooh-ooo-oooh.
No one can tell you what the chronic is,
you have to smoke it for yourself.
[Visual: Neo approaches the Oracle. Unlike in the movie, here the Oracle's avatar is a gorgeous young Black woman. She wears a neon pink bikini and lounges in a hot tub. A bottle of champagne sits beside her, and she takes a sip from her glass. She slides out of the hot tub to sit on the edge with her legs dangling in the water. The camera zooms in briefly on water droplets running down her body, then zooms back out.]
I'm gonna lay the funky rhymes down verse by verse
I predict the last word before I've heard the first.
Put your hands in the air for my Oracle style
'cause I'm from the old school like an ASCII text file.
Neo, you a playa, you the pimp of the Matrix.
Your girl's fine, dressin' like a dominatrix --
haxor skillz and stiletto heels,
give Trinity props, you know she keepin' it real.
Now have a seat Neo 'cause I know you will later.
Cozy up to me, don't be no Oracle-hater.
We both got the munchies so eat this candy.
I knew before I bought it, it would come in handy.
You ask, "Oracle, Oracle, on the wall,
how can I sit back while my shorty takes the fall?
And all the king's softwarez, and all the king's men
can't bring my baby online again."
But Neo you're fakin' like a masquerade,
'cause that's one choice you know you already made.
You came to hear the "why," and I'll tell you for free:
You need a little old guy, looks like a burned-out Bruce Lee
to hit you with the key that will get you through the door.
And once you're in there, yeah you can rock it hard core.
Go see the Merovingian is what I say,
Now my next party's startin' so I'm on my way.
[Visual: a stretch limo pulls up, with Seraph behind the wheel. The Oracle slips into a fancy silk bathrobe, puts on her high heels, and gets into the limo, which drives away.]
Fly Girls (singing):
No one can tell you what the chronic is,
You have to smoke it for yourself. Ooooh-ooo-oooooh.
No one can tell you what the chronic is,
You have to smoke it for yourself.
[Visual: Agent Smith walks up to Neo. He straightens his tie and begins to rap. As he raps, other copies of Smith take up positions all around him.]
Agent Smith (rapping):
Y'all AI-hataz think you bringin' some game?
There's a hundred in my crew, and we all the same.
When one catch a slug, the rest never complain,
and we spreadin' like a virus all through the mainframe.
Often imitated, I'm crazy replicated,
the Smith on my left was some bitch I once dated.
It's gettin' complicated but I'm tellin' you true:
don't go runnin' to your mama 'cause now she's a Smith, too.
If I catch you with my code, I'll load you up with me,
And then you'll be the S to the M-I-T
to the H, that's Smith, there's an endless supply,
so come step to the beat of the gangsta AI.
[Visual: Neo and all the Agent Smiths fight in the "burly brawl" scene. Neo flies away. The Smiths walk away. Only the Fly Girls remain. The picture becomes pixilated, fades to black, then the camera pulls back, revealing that the black background was the iris of the left eye of the lead Fly girl, as if perhaps the entire scene has been only an idea in her mind. She sits on the ground, her back to the wall. She runs her fingers through her hair and stares into the camera.]
Lead Fly Girl (singing solo):
No one can tell me what the chronic is,
I have to smoke it for myself.
(First published at http://matrixessays.blogspot.com
This article may be freely reproduced if it is unchanged and this notice is included.)
Is this brilliant or what? This video needs to be made!
When it was first announced that Keanu was going to be playing the title role in Constantine, based on the Hellblazer comic series, I went and eBay'ed a few issues to get a feel for the character. At first I hated the idea, then as I got to know about this "right bastard" a little bit more, I got a little excited over the thought of Keanu being able to stretch his bastard muscle a little bit. Donnie Barksdale was a good tease, but a whole movie of Reeves bein' all rogue-ish and onery? Bring it.
But it seems that the Hollywood machine is doing some pretty drastic things to this property.
Thanks to M.C. for this link to the Hellblazer site, insanerantings.com, that is a grudgingly good source of info on the project, including some pre-production concept drawings.
Current plot overview : John Constantine, an American magus recently diagnosed as having brain cancer, teams with Detective Sergeant Angela Murdoch in the hunt for a serial killer who preys on psychics and magicians.
Even I can see why the fans of the comic are not too happy. And all I did was buy a few odd issues of the comic.
-From a poster called "Funk" at the insanerantings forum:
[...]"They buy up the Hellblazer franchise and move the action to America. Not such a big change really, given that John spends much of the comic book series abroad.
Then other small changes occur over a long period of time:
*He's given a female cop sidekick. Not so bad. After all, she's part of the plot.
*He can now drive. Hey, that wasn't such a big part of his character.
*He becomes an American. Big change, but it's not like his attitude or personality is too badly affected.
*They pick a dark haired, part-Hawaiian actor to play him. Looks aren't everything though right?
*He gets brain cancer instead of lung cancer. Ah, we can live with that.
*He no longer smokes. Who's going to miss a little thing like that?
*He's described as "innocent" rather than "a bastard" which seems odd, but it's not like they've changed everything else about him have they...?
So at the end of a series of very small changes you end up with... well. TED CONSTANTINE.
Of course, when you're close to the project and have no idea of the original source material these changes don't seem so serious, especially when they're being made over such a great deal of time. I doubt that they thought "let's use this franchise and completely change everything about it".
Oh, and note the car in those drawings mentioned above. Hellblazer's John Constantine can't drive.
And there's more in depth discussion if you want to check it out.
FYI, The movie should be out next summer, and according to this article starts shooting September 15 in Los Angeles.
One happy byproduct of my curiousity of the Hellblazer Series is that I discovered Warren Ellis' blog (and that in turn led me to William Gibson's, as well).
Mr. Ellis is a glorious madman. Makes me wish I were a camgirl so I could get his ear for a bit and find out what he thought about the Hollywoodization of John Constantine. I could probably guess, if only in abstract. My grasp on british profanity being pretty poor.
Anyway, luckily I am a Keanu fan more than a comic fan, so I can probably enjoy this movie. It's actually sort of a relief, knowing they changed it so much that it won't be him that gets blamed if it's crap. However, I'm not nearly as creamy about this interpretation of the magus.
Plus, I am a little sad that he won't be going blonde.
I got my copy of The Animatrix yesterday. I was disappointed in the little patch crackerjack prize (some promos had clocks! and mousepads!) and they didn't want to honor my little 5$ off voucher that I got at the theater because I was buying the DVD/CD combo and it wasn't "coming up to qualify for the discount".
How stupid is that? Way to punish people that are spending more money at your store.Facists.
Natually, I pitched a fit and made them call a manager over, who still couldn't over-ride it. They ended up offering me a "price-match" which gave me a four dollar discount. So if you go to Best Buy, tell them that CompUSA has it for $22.99 and make them give it to you at that price.
Oh, and I paid for holding up the line, as the sweet adorable little daughter of the gentleman behind me had not yet learned the rules of "personal space" and kept putting her hands on my ass. Finally, a stern "Stop. Touching. Her." from dad made the violation stop.
The whole orderal was frightfully worth it, though. Really like the CD.
And loved The Animatrix shorts.
Hard to pick a favorite. I really loved Beyond, and while Kid's Story didn't shed as much light on that character as I had hoped ("Well, I'll be darned. He did unplug hisself") I have to say that Matriculated is my favorite. Fabulous imagery and fascinating story. And the end?
(it gets a little spoilery below. And warning, if you click the comment link and open the other page, you will see the spoiler stuff)
"It loves her! And now it's all alone and sad!"
Oh, I cried like a baby. This stuff gets to me. (I cried at the end of Silent Running, too.)
And it really fuels my feeling that it's all about the LOVE.
OK, the non-smoking thing didn't last. Technically I did pretty well. I think I only had 3 cigarettes in about 14 days, but the excitement/stress over planning this trip pushed me over the edge. Plus my traveling pals both smoke. There was no way I would be able to stand it this weekend.
I'll try again next week.
I've been busy all morning printing out Mapquest directions for everything. I've got bloggers, Keanu fans and old friends from high school to hook up with this weekend. Unfortunately, none of those subsets really overlap.
I don't know what the picture situation will be, I don't think any of the venues will allow it. I wish I had a spiffy camera phone but alas, I do not. In any case, I will be voicemonkeying updates all weekend including from the shows if I can.
Keanu hung with Anthrax last week at a concert. Thanks to Margarete and POTD for the news and picture.
I want a cigarette SO BAD.
I'm frantically trying to swing this LA trip. I totally can't afford this, but I really need to get out of town. Time off is secured, it's down to who's going with me and where we will stay. Thank god for bloggers and their couches.
This week for Virgo:
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): "Nothing worse could happen to one than to be completely understood." So said pioneer psychologist Carl Jung. If you think what he said is true, you should take action immediately, because you're in imminent danger of being well understood by at least two people. If on the other hand you're confident you can handle the odd sensation of being seen for exactly who you are, do nothing other than what you're already doing.
...and check out MY horoscope from freewillastrology.com:
ARIES (March 21-April 19): I enjoyed "Matrix Reloaded," but I
hope you won't see it or any film like it this week. It was loud, frenetic, pounding, bewildering, and epic: the exact opposite of what you need right now. You will thrive instead on intimate, subtle pleasures, Aries; you will come alive in the presence of understated, soulful influences that are full of nuance. The experiences that will lead you to your best destiny will awaken your sensitivity and move you to meditate on lyrical truths.
From Paulie (whom I now lurve, due to his abuse of the elipse...):
"hi everyone ... 1st ... Friday June 6th ... becky will be playing the
Troubadour at 9:00pm www.troubadour.com ... and as everyone already knows we will be playing the Musicians Institute on Saturday June 7th at 9:00pm ...
Also becky will be playing the Viper Room ... www.viperroom.com on Monday
June 9th at 11:00pm ... that's all for now ... talk to you soon ... "
OK, now I'm really rethinking opting to stay home this weekend.
Who wants a houseguest?
ANIMATRIX is released today.
I don't know where my mind is.
Oh wait, yeah I do. It's swirling around in my head saying "can I have a cigarette? can I have a cigarette? How about now? huh? how about now? Can I have a cigarette?"
Yeah, I quit smoking. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm at the "fuck everything and give me more pistachios" phase.
Just keep your fingers away from my cage.
Forty-two per cent of commuters in Toronto and Vancouver would cast action star, Keanu Reeves, as the first Canadian James Bond, according to an informal survey released today to celebrate the launch of Die Another Day, available on Special Edition DVD and VHS tomorrow.
While Reeves beat out fellow Toronto actors Kiefer Sutherland and Mike Myers by a clear majority, the survey revealed that choosing a Canadian Bond Girl was a more difficult task. Though Vancouver-born Carrie-Anne Moss was chosen as the Canadian Bond Girl with 43 per cent of the national vote, 39 per cent of Torontonians selected the buxom Pamela Anderson, narrowly edging out Carrie-Anne Moss by one per cent. In Vancouver, commuters were more decisive: 51 per cent of voters chose Moss over Anderson.
Big thanks to Wrygrass for this scan from a magazine from Israel.
I'm pretty much struck speechless by the cuteness.
Actually, isn't this the percentage he gave up to the effects and costume teams?
Not that I have interest in his money.
I'm all about the belly scar, the rock and roll, and the ass baby....
I've changed something in the blog's matrix.
The main effect is that it's going to munge all searches for a while, but it shouldn't hinder enjoyment of normal bloggy goodness.
I should add that if you have hardlinked to any of the individual entries, you need to change "archives" to "dust".
Update: Here's a blurb from Zap2it...
"Highlights of the show included Gollum's love/hate acceptance speech, which should win an award all by itself; Queen Latifah making out with Hollywood's favorite smoocher, Adrien Brody; and Keanu Reeves, who refused to say the word "whoa," making "MTV P.A." Andy Richter say it for him. Oh yeah, there was also Yoda's strange acceptance speech, which featured the wise one giving thanks to Steve Guttenberg, Vin Diesel and the Queen [Latifah] among many, many others."
Let's hope not.
Anyway, yes we're back and it's time to play a little catch up.
Japanese fans report that Keanu and the rest of the Matrix cast departed a few days ago. I imagine he might be back in LA by now, back to work (presenting at the MTV movie awards according to Club-Keanu and ET) and getting ready for the becky gig this saturday.
Keanu got a nice nod from William Gibson for his generosity with his Matrix monies.
That story was splashed around everywhere last week, and while it wasn't new or suprising to any of us fans, it was a nice to see the regard.
I think I'm well enough to not bother the rest of the theater with my sniffling and sneezing, so I may actually get around to seeing Reloaded again today.
On Friday night I was reading various Matrix blogs and boards, and at one point I think I might have actually had it all fall into place. But then I fell asleep and got kissed by DreamKeanu so I woke up as confused as ever.
I'm just not as geeky as I wanna be.
I do think Neo's gone wireless, though.
The following contains Reloaded spoilers
The Matrix: ReSeussed
(If "The Matrix: Reloaded" had been written by Dr. Seuss)
NEO: I am the One and I am free.
The Oracle is fond of me.
I need that dude who makes the key.
MEROVINGIAN: You only dream that you are free,
Look all around -- causality:
It's in the wine, it's in the steak,
It's in this chocolate cake I bake.
See yonder blonde? She sure looks fine.
One bite of cake, and she'll be mine.
Then in the restroom where we're meeting,
You can guess what she'll be eating.
NEO: But I am free,
And he is not the boss of me!
PERSEPHONE: He is a pig, she is a whore,
I've seen this scene twelve times before.
The tricks he's pulled, the lies he's said --
I'll shoot his werewolf in the head!
I'll fix him good for being sly;
I'll give you the key maker guy.
But first, a kiss to seal the deal;
Just make me feel that it's for real.
NEO: This bargain does have some appeal . . .
OK, a kiss, and now we're through.
PERSEPHONE: I'm very cute, curvaceous too,
Is that the best that you can do?
It must be true, the things they say --
The tabloid stories that you're . . .
Let's try again, you are a hottie.
Here's a kiss that's really naughty.
(Trinity will hate this night.
She'll bring it up each time we fight.)
PERSEPHONE: Now, that was better, way to go!
I feel a tingle, head to toe.
Let's have another.
TRINITY: Back off, ho!
Or taste a bullet from my gun.
PERSEPHONE: Too bad you're with her, she's no fun.
Well, come with me, we won't get caught.
I'll let you in my secret spot:
A steamy, dark place down below,
A tunnel deep in my chateau.
MORPHEUS: Could this be symbolism?
PERSEPHONE: Come through this door and take a peek.
This little guy is the locksmith geek.
KEYMAKER: I've got the keys to every lock.
I jingle-jangle when I walk!
NEO: And can you get me to the Source?
KEYMAKER: I have that key. Of course! Of course!
I'm on your side, just don't take me
Through airport gate security.
(First published at http://matrixessays.blogspot.com
This poem may be freely reproduced if it is unchanged
and this notice is included.)