Quintessential king of screenplay snark, Rod Hilton of The Editing Room has his version of the abridged script of The Matrix Reloaded (I'm linking to the printer friendly version as I keep getting php errors, let me know if it doesn't work).

KEANU REEVES
What was the Osiris? And who was
that kid in zion who kept pestering
me?

THE EXPLAINER
You will find the answers to these
questions by purchasing The
Animatrix, a collection of nine
animated shorts from some of Anime's
top directors.

KEANU REEVES
Alright. Well, what was that crap
Glora said about vampires and
werewolves? And how did Jada Pinkett
Smith get to Laurence Fishburne
during the car chase? And what the
hell happened during the power plant
takeover climax that-wasn't?

THE EXPLAINER
You will find the answers to those
questions by purchasing the Enter
The Matrix game, available for
Windows, Playstation2, Xbox, and
Gamecube. Enter the Matrix features
awesome gunplay and spectacular
martial arts that bend the rules of
the Matrix. This game isn't just
set in the Matrix universe--it's an
integral part of the experience,
with a story that weaves in and out
of The Matrix Reloaded. Enter the
Matrix is the story behind the
story.

KEANU REEVES
Fine! Then tell me this, what the
hell is with Hugo Weaving saying he
and I have some special connection?
And how come I can control machines
in the real world? And will we win
the war if I don't choose the door
to my right?

THE EXPLAINER
You will find the answers to these
questions when you watch The Matrix
Revolutions, coming later in 2003.

KEANU REEVES
I hate you.

THE EXPLAINER
Perhaps you should drink more
Powerade.

Go check out The Editing Room.