I really can't thank Vika enough for all the wonderful things she showed Wee Neo and shared with us, not to mention the lovely photos of "flowertherapy" that she has sent since I was sick. You're lovely and wonderful, Vika. Thank you. *hand to heart*
Here's the final part of his adventures in Bratislava.
"This´ll be the last report about Wee Neo in Slovakia. He is already on the way back to Krix ["He's back, and came with lovely gifts! thank you!"--krix] and with a little bit of nostalgia and a full glass of wine I am ready for sharing adventures of the last weeks.
Can you remember were we ended last trip? Yes, on the party, so we can continue, can´t we?
This beer barrel is already empty and Wee Neo goes to visit another national speciality...
...colored timber houses in Cicmany village -
Maybe you mentioned too but in Bratislava was so hot weather that we were looking for something cold. Maybe for "a cool breeze over the mountains" in Slovakian the highest moutain - High Tatras.
Mushrooms, blueberries, raspberries... I love them! And here we found fields!!!
We climbed so high that there was snow still.
But it wasn´t cold enough. Maybe under ground... in the cave?
We were also in the ice cave.
In the winter there was a windstorm and great part of national park woods blew down and now, next to our hotel, started a big fire. They said to us to pack our baggage and to be prepared for evacuation in the night!
Fortunately, the night wind changed direction and fire went upsite to the rocks.
But it was a storm and strong rain the next evening which choked the fire.
Nature is a strong witch, isn´t it?
...and because of raining we decided to visit an ice cave and some cultural sights like chateu.
Wee Neo likes this medieval hutch.
...and this lady was his guard.
Now I can understand why there was a revolution. Aristocracy must be vicious if they used a human part as a paperweight!
But I am not so sure if this is not equally ugly and it is today´s capitalism.
Enough of nature and back to the town and to the future:
I was really happy that on the last day in Bratislava Wee Neo could see the whole code of the Matrix!
He found the source also!
And then he choose the way back to Krix :)
(It looks like she needs resurrection.)
I told a goodbye to Wee Neo and I am looking forward for his adventures in next life!
I am fine, fine..."
Awww, Vika already misses him.
I am happy to have him back, so we can go back to Seattle together again!
--See all of Wee Neo's travels here >>
I still have one final part of Wee Neo's travels to Bratislava with Vika that I have to get posted but here's a sneak peak of what he got to see!
Wee Neo is still enjoying his time with Vika and her family in Bratislava. Her pictures were too nice to size down so click on the images for the full version..
"Wee Neo estivates in Bratislava but not only there. There is a ring in stone pavement in the middle of the town with world´s destinations:
Did I see homesickness in his face? No way! He was just counting how many it is in miles.
He was pleased to watch some practise of "gentle way" when my sons took part in training show of their judo group.
So he agreed with some self practicing...
especially in these "gentle hands".
(Krix, don´t be afraid, he has a coat again and all moving parts are
on right places! *wink*)
We (my family) won´t stay in the city all summer so we´re doing some small or bigger trips around the country and on the first july weekend we visited some castles.
yes, it is a ruin but not because of communist regime, it is ruin since 18th century.
These ruins stay on the rocks and you have to climb up in the woods.
And then is definitely the right time to make a break and
spend a lovely summer night with friends in the cottage garden
with guitars with beer (wine, sekt or something stronger) until
sky becomes lighter and birds interrupt your singing.
And now, please, excuse me I am leaving to check my handy bar.
Thank you to Vika and her family :)
...read more of Wee Neo's adventures here
Wee Neo is still in Slovakia with Vika! She sends more news and photos of his travels, and I must say that this first one might be my most favorite Wee Neo tour photo ever...
OK, welcome to Bratislava - in the middle of Europe! As we like to say 'Heart of Europe'!
Someone call the town "Beauty on Danube". Well, let's go check it what stays.
Maybe someone knows a waltz "On beauty blue Danube"? Here it looks more like greygreen Danube.
Of course, we start in the middle of old town.
Now it is empty, but this is the right place where the x-mas tree rised in the december. And the building is the Opera-house (Slovak national theatre), they start to build a new one, maybe 20-25 years ago, but after velvet revolution some ministers of culture fall down because of disability to finished or sold it.
This is the old town hall.
And here is the "white house" - president´s palace. The flag on the roof means that he is home.
Let's check it closer.
As you can see, president is very safe (or better say enought for us). But wait! There is no red carpet! Is it possible that no one knows about such VIP person as Wee Neo is? Another international faux pas! Better for Wee Neo to travel incognito.
"As I say, everybody is watching and waiting! But today I'm here only for keanuvision.com!"
Another who is watching! Well, this guy we can´t missed out, it is in each guide-book. I spend some time to reach an empty statue :)
Wow! Watcher disapeared!
Strange, also walls can watch!
They told that masks on the walls are for saving before enemies (in medieval times).
Enough of historia, let's go to see some people.
This young lady was so kind and invited me to garden party in her kindergarden!
"This is a really cool 'bike'"
The place was full of princess, fairies, dryads, pirates, knights and other strange beings.
"Wow they sing for me! I want to go closer!"
Almost same as Larry (krix' bass) :)))
Yes!!! This is definitely close enough. Now I can understand why they say that Slovak's girls are marvelous!
* lights are getting dark and subtitle -TO BE CONTINUED- slowly disappears *
Thank you Vika! I can't wait to see where Wee Neo goes next!
Wee Neo finally arrived at Vika's place in Bratislava, Slovakia!
He had to see all the beautiful flowers himself.
Vika greeted him with traditional gifts of salt and bread (yum).
And is that vodka there (double yum)?
It looks like he's in the hands of some very fun tour guides.
This is the closest Wee Neo has been to my ancestral homeland (I'm half Serbian) so I'm very excited to see where he goes on his travels with Vika and her family.
Thank you Vika for letting him visit!
Zen really outdid herself showing Wee Neo around Canada. Here's the third and final installment of his Canadian adventures.
One of the reasons I wanted to take Neo to Prince Edward Island, other than the fact that it's very close to New Brunswick, is that it's teeny tiny, just like Wee Neo himself. It's in the little yellow circle on the Map above. PEI is Canada's smallest province. It's also the place where Martha Stewart buys her mussels. * cough * We tend not to talk about that anymore. PEI mussels are delicious however and you should have them if you ever visit there.
It is also very scenic. With lots of farms. And potatoes.
For our first stop, we decide to head for the beach. Cavendish beach is very popular and it will give us an opportunity to show Neo how PEI earth is red instead of the boring brown you see everywhere else.
We want to get closer to the water, so we head for the dunes. They are protected now by fences so that they're not destroyed by people walking over them. Neo is neither impressed nor intimidated by the fence.
Soon he's defying convention and stomping all over the dunes.
Next a 'legal' stroll on the beach. He stops to pose.
That's the Atlantic Ocean in the background!
Hungry from our trip to the beach, we head out to find a restaurant. PEI is surrounded by water, so what better place to have some fresh seafood. We happen on this cool restaurant shaped like a huge boat! There must be seafood here.
The flags on top represent each of the Canadian provinces. And at the very tip, the Acadian flag! I'm so impressed they remembered us. We decide to go inside. There is a lovely view from our table and I go outside on the "deck" with Neo to take a picture.
That huge bridge in the background is the Confederation Bridge which will take us back to New Brunswick. It was completed in 1997 and at 12.9 kilometres (8 miles) is the longest bridge over ice-covered waters in the world. Before it was built, the only way to get to PEI was by ferry.
While we're eating our delicious lobster and crab, Neo gets a little quiet. I ask him what's wrong but he won't talk much. I coax him with an extra lobster claw and he admits that he thought PEI would be smaller. "You know" he says looking sullen, "my size." I start smiling. I know just where to take him!
Down your drinks fellas, I tell my husband and Neo, we're going to Woodleigh!
Woodleigh Replicas & Gardens was built by a young soldier after World War II. He lived in PEI, but wanted to bring a piece of his ancestral home to it. He recreated some of Britain's most famous buildings and castles on his land in PEI. They are, of course, much smaller than the originals and therefore, totally Neo-sized!
First one we looked at, York Minister Cathedral. (This one had a sign, so I know for sure it was a Cathedral and not a Church. wink) Neo's so excited; he climbs up on top of the door frame.
We continue with the church theme for a bit. They're so pretty.
Try not to notice the fact that it's a bit, um leaning. Neo had a tiny flying incident. shhhh...He is so happy to be here, we don't want to dampen his enthusiasm.
Now, Neo's coat would have played off so well on all the white here, but stupid me got him to stand in front of that black door and he's practically invisible. I might add that Neo was not at all happy with my photography technique here.
I do a much better job at the Temple of Flora where Neo pretends he's the missing statue. hee!
Neo marvels at all the things his size.
The little bridge...
The teeny-ness of Glamis Castle...
Even a cannon!!! Oh, he had a bunch of fun here.
Of course, not everything was his size. The pillory was rather big, but then, for Neo, that would be a good thing.
We saw a little Mill...
A wee deck...
And last but not least, Shakespeare's Birthplace!
But all good things, even little things, must come to an end, so eventually, we had to go. I urge Neo to pose next to these lovely Lilly pads. He's not particularly interested, but I love them, and I can't remember ever having seen live Lilly pads before.
Then it';s across the Confederation bridge and back to New Brunswick. Neo decides it might be time for him to leave. He has been with us for a few weeks now. We offer to drive him to the airport. But before we do, since we are so close, we decide to take a little drive to Nova Scotia. This will be province number four for Neo and he thinks he might be setting some sort of record.
We don't have too much time, so where in Nova Scotia to go? Why here of course!
And may I report that while Panama hats may no longer be flying off the shelves here, thrice worn wrinkled suit jackets are way big. *wink*
The next place we visit is of course the winery. Jost Winery to be exact. They make some of the best ice wine in Canada here. And of course, I know you all know that Canada makes the best ice wines in the world. I mean, we know from ice. ;-) Before we sample though, we take a little walk through the fields.
Neo goes all Paul Sutton...
And then gets drunk on ice wine and pomme de glace and ends up in the grape smooshing barrels.
We let him sleep it off, drive him to the Moncton Airport and kiss him goodbye. He wouldn't tell me where he was headed next, but I'm pretty sure I saw his plane heading South. Hope he stays far away from the hurricanes.
I'm sure we'll be hearing from him again soon! Bye Neo!
Thank you Zen for being such an extraordinary hostess and tourguide for Wee Neo!
Thanks to his lovely hostess Zen, Wee Neo's really getting a good tour of Canada!
Zen : "That's New Brunswick in the red circle on the map. Tiny isn't it? The yellow flag is the provincial flag. The blue, white and red one that looks like the French flag except with a yellow star on it, is the Acadian flag. That's my flag! "
(click below to keep reading)
If seeing the world's longest covered bridge yawn hadn't convinced Neo that we were in fact in New Brunswick, (Canada's only officially bilingual province!), then this surely will.
This type of sign is a fixture on New Brunswick roads. I explain to Neo that hitting a moose with your car is pretty deadly. For the moose, for the car and a lot of times for you. He can't believe something that small could cause such damage. He starts going into this complicated karate routine saying how he could easily tackle one of these "beasts". I don't have the heart to tell him the moose on the sign isn't actual size.
The first place we visit upon arriving in New Brunswick is the quaint little town of Bouctouche, a very popular tourist destination. It has lovely parks, Micmac experiences, a bike trail through the woods, an arboretum, delicious restaurants and most importantly beaches! Our first stop is the Bouctouche Dune, which is not actually a dune but a thirteen kilometer sandbar (that's 7 miles for the American and British among you) in the Bouctouche Bay.
Neo wants to take a swim, but I can't convince him to take the damn coat off and I'm afraid he's going to be pulled under by its weight (krix would never forgive me), so I persuade him to come with me to Bouctouche's other most famous tourist attraction instead.
A tiny natural island in the middle of the Bay has become the home of La Sagouine and her friends. La Sagouine is the famous character in a series of books written by the most celebrated Acadian author of all time, Antonine Maillet. Her stories are based in the town of Bouctouche and so the homes of her well known characters have been built on the island. Actors portray the characters in skits all through the summer attracting French speaking people from all around the world. I tell Neo that Antonine Maillet has won France's prestigious Prix Goncourt for her writing. He acts all impressed and starts saying stuff like Bon Appetit and Bon Voyage and Merci Beaucoup and La-dee-daa...
I haul him away by the coattails. We head to the bike trails in the woods and stop for a snack. Neo flies onto a branch to get a better view of the Bay.
We've been traveling and visiting for a while by this time and it's time to go home. First thing I do is introduce Neo to Real World Neo. "Oh yeah", he says unimpressed. "krix and I got one of those living with us too." I swear I hear him mutter bastard under his breath. But he shakes Real's hand like a gentleman, meets Real's squinty eyes with the cold stare of his um, glasses and promptly takes over Real's tentacle thingie. I can see a fight brewing, so I turn up the music and they immediately start to get jiggy with it.
The next day, I have a business meeting in St-Andrews, so I decide to take Neo along. This is the hotel where our meeting is held. The doormen wear skirts here! Oops, I mean kilts. Wish I could have gotten a picture of that. Hee!
And this is where we had lunch!
Neo had a whole plate. I only had one or two. *cough cough*
The weekend finally rolls around and my husband and I decide to take Neo sightseeing around the province. First, we go to The Rocks, a New Brunswick natural wonder.
The Rocks are also called the Flower Pots, because they look like giant flower pots what with the trees growing on top like that. Here's another good one.
We walk the trail a bit. Notice the New Brunswick bilingual signage!
Neo and I take a picture together.
Little devil elbowed me out of it.
Next on our list, Cape Enragé. It's called that because when the weather is bad, the sea gets pretty angry. Also, you don't want to be going up there when it's foggy, which is pretty much always. Man, this place gets creepy! But we're there on a nice sunny day, so we get along fine. The first thing we see gets Neo all nostalgic for Trinity.
We comfort him as best we can over a bowl of thick seafood chowder. Then we cheer him up more by taking a picture of him and the Cape.
I tell Neo about the students who come in the summer to rappel off those walls and he's very curious. We go down to the beach to get a better look. The stairs are none too comforting.
Neo climbs a huge seaweed infested rock...
...and then goes periwinkle gathering. Except he calls them escargot. giggle
Then he decides to tackle the cliff.
He makes it to the top, but I discourage him from rappelling. I mean, how impressive can it be when you can fly.
Our last stop of the day is Fundy National Park. You cannot come to Canada and not see beaver habitat. I've circled the beaver home so you can spot it there. Neo, less than interested, picks this time to practice his moves.
Fundy Park has lovely falls. Neo flies around them a bit, but then I get him to stand still enough for a picture. As if he minds. *Wink*
Leaving Fundy Park, we stop at a wharf to wonder at the low, low tides of the Fundy Coast.
Neo goes looking for lobster. He suggests we might want to look into trapping moose with these things. You know, to keep the highways safer.
And of course, no one, but no one leaves Fundy without stopping for some famous Kelly's Sticky Buns. The best sticky buns in the whole wide
The one that's missing, um, Neo ate that one. Yes he did. Uh-huh.
And since New Brunswick is very close to the other two Maritime provinces (really, look at the map!), we decide Neo might like to visit Prince Edward Island. I'll give you a report from there as soon as we get back!
Yay and Big Love to Zen! I can't wait!
Big Love and thanks to Zen for showing Wee Neo around on her trip to Québec.
"So, my husband and I are packing our things for our trip to Québec (Canada’s only officially French province!) when the phone rings. It’s Wee Neo! And he’s in Québec. My friend Julie!, whom he visited in Amsterdam a few months ago gave him my number in case he ever decided to visit Canada. He asks about Julie! Do I detect a bit of lust in his voice? Ahem We chat a bit and decide we’ll meet up the next day in La Belle Province."
"We are to meet Neo somewhere on La Côte de la Montagne. I’m a bit worried as Wee Neo is quite Wee and I hope we don’t miss him. Or step on him. Just as I’m about to take a picture of some flowers in a lovely pattern, I spot him!
We kiss, we hug, we go back to our suite at the Auberge so Neo can leave his stuff.
Neo checks out the view from our window.
Then he checks the view from our other window. He calls out for me to take another picture. So he can prove he was in Canada, he says, pointing to the flag. I take the picture, waiting until the wind moves the flag in a good position.
It’s time to go sightseeing, so Neo checks himself out in the mirror to make sure his coat is hanging just so.
Like Neo wrote in his postcard to krix, the New France Festival is going on. I give Neo the pass I bought so he can enter the festival grounds.
And we’re off!
As we walk to our many destinations, I explain to Neo how this part of Québec City has maintained its original look. It’s called Le Vieux Québec (Old Québec) and there are still narrow cobblestone roads, the buildings look like they did almost 400 years ago and the entire “Old” section is protected by a giant wall. I’m about to tell him why the giant wall, but he’s barely listening. He wants me to take more pictures of him. Was he always this conceited? ["He prefers to call it 'photogenic'"--krix]
But, he’s The One, so I take pictures. We take in the sights.
First, Le Petit Champlain, a popular little street filled with lovely shops. It is also the oldest street in North America.
A museum and lovely example of the Old Québec architecture. It may be a challenge to find the Wee One in this one. *wink*
Getting to wear the New France traditional clothing without actually having to change.
More of the beautiful buildings
And Old Québec’s most famous structure, the Château Frontenac
It can be seen from practically any spot in Old Québec.
Even from the pub where Neo decides he’ll have a taste of Québec brewed beer.
We then head higher up the hill and get a shot of the horses and carriages on which tourists can visit the city.
And then Neo poses in front of the Québec Parliament. Notice the Québec flag floating on top!
Next, we spot a cathedral. Or maybe it’s just a church. Does anyone know the difference?
In any case, Neo doesn’t notice the church, he’s more interested in the fact that he is standing on top of a huge wall. Suddenly, he wants to know about the wall. Sigh....I explain that the wall was built around the entire city to protect it from attacks. It started in 1820 under British rule and took 30 years to complete. I tell him how the English attacked and took over Québec back in 1759 and that I guess they didn’t want to risk losing it again. Neo laughs. He has met the English, in the form of Nettie, and he does not believe they would be the type to attack whole cities. I assure him that Nettie was most certainly not on board English ships when General Wolf’s army attacked Québec.
Since Neo is interested, we decide to take a walk along the wall and check out the defense ware.
The wall and the “new” sections of the city outside of it...
Some sections of the wall still have the cannons that defended them back in the day.
Beyond those trees is a deadly cliff! Neo decides to check the cannons out more closely.
He really, really liked the cannons for some reason. He kept saying “I need cannons, lots of cannons”. The phallic shape of these things is probably what got him flashing back to “the girls” who ahem turned him down in Amsterdam because of his, um, weeness. Next thing I know, he’s here.
I coax him away by going on about more arms and ammunition.
Gun holes in the great wall for shooting at people. And no! we can’t practice on the tourists!
Neo finds his position on the wall protecting the ammunitions building
Can you spot him?
He likes the cannonballs...
And the moat...
Wait! are those real soldiers up there? Neo is convinced the city is under attack again! He hides in the bushes, um, I mean the grass. I try to explain about the festival, the period costumes, but he’s not listening. He runs back to the Auberge and calls his army together!
Or at least he thinks he’s gathering his army. That’s a parade you goof! “I knew that” he blushes.
We settle in to watch the parade.
The huge papier mâché figures...
The period costumes...
And the princesses...
Neo is convinced he has met the princesses in some other lifetime. Hee hee.
After a week of sightseeing, overeating and overdrinking, it’s time for us to go. We invite Neo to come back with us to New Brunswick and he eagerly accepts. We suspect he’s running low on cash. *wink* ["I gave him money, he spent it all on WEED!"--krix] We take off, passing through the entrance of the great wall.
On the way home, we take this picture for sta-cie who mentioned once that she finds the name of this town particularly funny. Ha! Ha!
Notice Neo showing off his flying abilities!
And before we know it, the eight hour drive is almost over. We’re in New Brunswick.
How can we tell? Why there in the background is the world’s longest covered bridge! Exciting isn’t it? Exactly. That’s why we took a picture from the car and didn’t stop.
Stay tuned to find out how Wee Neo made out during his stay in New Brunswick! "
P.S. "Here’s an interesting little tidbit we discovered on our trip. (Neo wasn’t with us on this particular day, he was sightseeing on his own.) My husband and I went to the docks and saw this (click for image).
The girls in dresses sitting on the dock as well as the one taking a picture were dancers at the festival. The man in blue was their shoe repair guy. He’s fixing their shoes with… TAPE! Check out the roll on his lap! Looks like it is catching on. ;-)"
Thanks Zen! Oh and my apologies for getting a little happy with the arrows, but the scenery in the pics was too lovely to crop so Wee Neo is hard to spot in some of them.
Read on as she tells of their romantic sight-seeing at San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge...
"Ok, we weren't exactly *in* Frisco, but we were near it - on the Golden Gate Bridge to be exact. It was a gloriously sunny day and I was afraid that Neo might have started melting, but I had nothing to fear, because, as we all know, he is The One.
Neo wanted to show me his old hunting ground, where he filmed The Matrix Reloaded and I thought 'yeah, I'll come along' thinking it would be just a casual jaunt. I'd never been to the Golden Gate Bridge before. It really is a magnificent structure.
Little did I know that Neo had other things on his mind..."
"Neo liked the Matrix t-shirt I was wearing and said that the Super Burly Brawl was some of his favourite scene that he shot during the making of Revolutions."
"He asked whether he could read it, so I let him. But I think he was more interested in my boobs because he kept skipping bits of dialogue all the time..."
"Here's Neo with San Francisco in the background. It was used an the backdrop to the freeway chase scenes in Reloaded. He was pissed that he wasn't allowed to show his prowess on a motorcyle (they chose Trin instead), coz you know he's been to Freddie Spencer's High Performance Riding School an all. I told him he could fricken fly at 2000 mph, for crying out loud and doesn't need a motorbike."
"And here's Neo with Alameda in the background. 'What a dump' he said. And people kept trying to crash the set (much to his annoyance) and a certain young lady (Spuddie) even got her hubby to fly over the set and got exclusive filming pix."
"The founders of the Navy Memorial envisioned this Lone Sailor at 25 years old at most, a senior second class petty officer who is fast becoming a seagoing veteran. He has done it all -- fired his weapons in a dozen wars, weighed anchor from a thousand ports, tracked supplies, doused fires, repelled boarders, typed in quadruplicate and mess-cooked, too. He has made liberty call in great cities and tiny villages, where he played tourist, ambassador, missionary to the poor, adventurer, souvenir shopper and friend to new lands. His shipmates remember him with pride and tell their grandchildren stories, some of which, like him, are seven feet tall."
"Neo had a real empathy for what he's gone through (because he himself is the saviour of mankind) and could totally relate."
"I had to make a pit stop (to powder my nose) Neo waited patiently for me."
(do you know, I don't even remember taking this picture...must've been one of Spud's boys)
"When I finished taking all the scenic pix I wanted, he said. 'C'mon, lets go the the bridge'."
"I was a little apprehensive at first (because the bridge is hella high up off the ground and Nettie doesn't like heights), but Neo reassured me that everything would be ok - he's got my back, so I was happy to walk on it."
"Neo showed me where he jacked into the Matrix, which I though was very hand indeed considering he actually LIVED on the Golden Gate bridge. That was the big surprise. I was amazed."
"The view from the bridge was breathtaking and as soon as we were over the water, there was a cool breeze, which wafted over me. It was heavenly."
"Level 41. 'Know it well' Neo said. That did make me laugh."
"This is where Neo lived whilst making Reloaded because it reminded him of Zion."
"Then I said I was starting to feel a little cold and he hugged me (well he hugged my boob - he has a facination with boobage I'm telling you! )"[ed. note -"Dude! He just got out of prison, what did you expect?"]
"By this time, I was warming up and I decided I had to leave a momento of our visit."
"And we held hands as we walked back to where Spuddie was waiting."
"We paused to have one last, lingering look at the fantastic scenery."
"And I threw caution to the wind and gave him a peck on the cheek. Neo, I must say, you sure do know how to show a girl a good time."
Thanks for taking such great care of Wee Neo, Keanuette and Spuddie!
Hopefully he won't get into any trouble on the way to his next destination.
OK, so I didn't want to mention anything for fear of causing a panic, but I'm sure some of you noticed that we haven't heard from Wee Neo since his time in Amsterdam. It seems that he took a liking to some of the wonders that Julie!'s lovely culture had to offer and ended up trying to take a little bit home with him.
In a nutshell, Wee Neo spent two months in a Turkish prison for smuggling hash.
I don't know where I went wrong. He used to be such a good boy.
Luckily, I know some people who ...ahem....know a guy who can make things happen and Wee Neo was
broken out released after some diplomatic negotiations...
Part of his release involved being smuggled out in a purse..
And there may have been a bit of a car chase...
...but his accomplices kept him buckled in and secure.
Every aspect of the mission was considered carefully, except the fact that there was only one CD to listen to for the whole trip. Neo playing air-drums the whole time didn't help.
Neo really wanted to drive but there was a visibilty problem.
Finally, after some particularly fancy evasive maneuvers, some forged passports and a bribe to the crew of a import freighter headed for the Bay Area...
Sweet freedom at last.
Stay tuned to find out who saved Wee Neo and what they did when they hit the shore...
Wee Neo has had a bit of wanderlust ever since we returned from Seattle, so rather than listen to him bitch all the time about how I never take him anywhere ("dude, I've got a job. And like....cats and stuff, I can't be jetting around the globe on your whim.") I packed his bags, gave him some pocket money and sent him out into the world. Naturally, the first place he wanted to go was to visit Julie!. I'm so jealous.
Being a man of swift action, the first thing Neo realised upon arriving in Holland was that he needed to have some form of transportation. So, he quickly charmed Julie!’s cat Foodsnatcher into give him piggyback rides wherever he needed to go.
Then, he also decided that he needed some pictures to send home, so he could have a record of his trip to share with everyone at keanuvision. For this, he enlisted the services of Personal Assistants: Julie! and the beautiful Annabelle, who agreed to take some promotional pictures for him. Being a professional, he also demanded that they carried his bags...
First stop? The Zaanse Schans, an old Dutch village just below Amsterdam.
Neo was pleased to find out that in honor of his visit, the inhibitants had decorated their houses with some festive balloons.
Then, Neo was forced to visit the Wooden Shoes Museum, in order to witness how clogs are made.
Frankly, it bored him silly. Using one of his trademark jumps, he quickly got away. Soon after however, Neo realised that there are some advantages to wearing really sturdy shoes. For instance, you can kick butt a lot harder.
And he had to admit to himself that he just looked damned fine in them.
Neo really enjoyed seeing the Dutch windmills up close, and especially liked the way the wind from the mills made his coat flap about.
After this, he announced that he was ready to see the city of Amsterdam.
First, Neo graciously posed in front of the National Monument on Dam-square, placed opposite of the royal family’s palace. One of the great mysteries that puzzles the Dutch people is if our Queen has ever noticed that whenever she’s looking out of the window, she’s actually staring at a giant penis-shape.
Formal gatherings and state-visits are being held in front of this thing, too.
And after seeing Neo's tolorant reaction towards SOME Dutch oddities, Julie! and Annabelle decided that it was time to show Neo the REAL Amsterdam, and entered the Red Light district....
So, this is what it looks like! This picture was moved on purpose, to prevent recognition of the girls and to keep innocent visitors of this blog from freaking out.
To give a general idea: Prostitution is legal in Holland, and in this district, the girls are sitting behind windows, rather then having to walk on the street to pick up customers. This is a much safer way for them to work.
There are about 400 girls working in this particular spot, but there’s ‘districts’ all over the country.
As far as the picture goes: The red stripes are the ‘red lights’, placed above and beneath the windows. If you look at the lowest red light in the
right left-bottom corner, you can see an outline of a girl wearing white lingerie.
Neo complained bitterly about this…
Apperently he seems to prefer black rubber.
After looking at all these near-naked ladies, Neo needed to cool off a bit, so he took a dive into the Casa Rosso fountain.
After this, he happily posed in front of a growing crowd of Japanese tourists. Special thanks go to the bouncers of this sex-club, for allowing Julie! and Annabelle to take pictures. You’re much nicer then the bouncers of the ‘banana-bar’ across the street!!!! Greedy bastards!
Then, it was time for Neo to visit one of the girls himself. Mumbling something about ‘research’ and ‘curiosity’, he finally found a girl who agreed to pose with him, on the condition that she could wear a wig to be a bit less ‘recognisable’ (Thanx Mandy!!!) However, she refused to go any further, no matter how much he paid.
When he asked her why, she vaguely nodded in the direction of her toys, designed to make the customers pay even more if they wish to see her performing certain actions with them. She snickered a little, too.
Mortally insulted, Neo complained bitterly that ‘size’ shouldn’t matter, and fumed that he’d rather spend his 10 dollars somewhere else.
After this rather embarrassing rejection, Neo decided to calm down by trying another Dutch speciality.
He headed straight for the Bulldog-coffeeshop, one of Holland’s most famous legal hash-selling points.
First, Neo inspected the product. Whoa!
Then, he thanked the cute guy who’s name shall be witheld, for allowing him & 2 giggling girlies to go backstage and photograph his ‘stash’.
After making his purchase, he checked the price-list one more time, to make sure he wasn’t ripped off.
About 10 minutes later, Neo realised that the Amsterdam-weed might have been a TAD stronger then the expected.
About 20 minutes later, he was so high that he basically didn’t realise ANYTHING anymore.
About 30 minutes later, Neo had a TERRIBLE craving for candy.
He also found himself surrounded by strange creatures. He had no idea who or what the hell they were, but found them hysterically funny nevertheless, and laughed so hard he actually fell down from it.
The next day, Neo planned on taking one of Amsterdam’s famous canal cruises.
However, he decided against it because the whole situation reminded him too much of the script for Speed 2.
This picture is a little shakey, because… Well… The night before was a little rough *cough*....
Next stop: The Heineken Brewery!
Neo personally thanked the Heineken staff for being an intregal part of the massive marketing blitz that surrounded The Matrix sequels.
Johan & Henk were thrilled to pose with Neo himself, and had all sorts of good advise on how to deal with banging headaches. After inspecting the rest of the brewery, Neo dragged himself back to Julie!'s flat for some much needed rest.
Looks like Neo had an amazing Amsterdam adventure!
Sigh, I need to get out more.
BIG LOVE and thanks and kisses to Julie! for showing Neo such a good time and for telling the tale of his adventures!!!
And now, Neo's off to his next stop on the tour!
Do you live in an exotic or interesting locale? Do you have a digital camera?
Do you want Neo to visit you? Email me to see if we can fit you in his itinerary!
Whee! Seattle rawked. I LOVE Eric and had the best time.
I'm going to have major vivace withdrawals tomorrow. We did SO MUCH!
Neo had fun too.
He kept me distracted doing DeNiro impressions ("You talkin' to me?") while I waited for the plane.
Neo also was happy to pose with random strangers (Hi Shelly and Nick!) in the airport bar. You'll notice they were smart and did not get the fifteen dollar cocktail (Which was good, but the
buzz calming attributes did not last the flight).
Eric lives in this great loft apartment with roof access. Neo re-enacted the original rooftop scene. Of course, Wee Neo is...well, wee, so I declined to dangle from a rope and let him pull me back up; Lovely view of downtown, though.
We went to Pike Place. The Real World Seattle (Rebecca's season) house was nearby, but we didn't bother to go there.
The guy at Pike Place Fish was happy to pose with The One. He even showed us how to dodge fish.
I have no idea whose ass that is, but here's Neo on the snout of the famous Pike Place pig.
Hee. How funny is this? It's like they knew I was coming to town. How could I not shop there?
We went to the marina at night. The place was deserted and kind of spooky. I half expected the body of David Allen Griffin to pop out of the water at any moment.
We also saw the famous Fremont Troll. He's the opposite of wee. Neo was unafraid.
Late night, MC One busts a move in the DJ booth of the Club. Shake it like a polaroid baby.
More sightseeing, we went to the Tacoma Museum of Glass, which was sort of dull except for the glass blowing demo. I kept Neo in my bag for that, for fear he'd think the glory hole was The Source. We did cross the Chihuly Bridge of Glass, which isn't actually made of glass but is pretty nonetheless.
Too bad Dojo didn't come. The Seattle Japanese Garden was lovely.
Rawk! Neo was too wee to play the drums at Eric's rehearsal space. We did do something there, though....but that's a suprise for later.
Neo hung with Jimi on Broadway.
Speaking of Jimi, we also went to EMP, the Experience Music Project and saw all kinds of Seattle music memorabilia including handritten lyrics by Hendrix and Kurt Cobain. We also drove by the house Ann and Nancy Wilson grew up in and by Kurt's house on the way to the Japanese Garden. That was a little creepy.
We ate out nearly every night, and the food was amazing. Last night, Neo enjoyed some chips and salsa at ¡Cactus!
If you ever go there, have the cowgirl brownie for dessert. It's orgasmic.
Getting up at 6am to be at the airport this morning was NO FUN AT ALL.
And we were both very sad to leave.
Wee Neo travels well, though. I need to be a bit bolder about getting people to pose with him, I think. Which means I need to take more trips!
But it's good to be home for now.