August 01, 2002
No Keanu Content*
Dear assmonkey in front of me in line at PetSmart this evening:
Shut up. Your attempt at funny comments does NOT MAKE THE LINE GO ANY FASTER. No, I was not squinting to stifle a giggle, but SILENTLY WILLING THE PIT BULL BEHIND ME to lunge at your throat and put YOU out of all our misery. I maintain that my TUNA FLAVORED VITAMIN GEL and PAPAYA EXTRACT digestive suppliment for my SICK KITTY KAT are INFINITELY more important in the big scheme of things than your stupid FISH WALLPAPER! I'm sure that there actually IS a sign that says "DON'T TEAR OFF YOURSELF-ASK FOR ASSISTANCE, MORON!" back there, and even if there isn't, why you would tear off more than you need and expect not to have to pay for it is BEYOND ME. You're lucky it wasn't me behind that register with the scissors or they would be JAMMED IN YOUR NECK right now. I hope that in your next life, you are reborn as a MISSHAPEN SEA CUCUMBER and are repeatedly dropped on the ground at the educational tidepools by EXCEPTIONALLY CLUMSY KIDS on their special field trip to SEA WORLD.
*(no offense to assmonkeys, sea cucumbers or clumsy kids intended)
| from inside the mind of krix at August 01, 2002 07:23 PM
Krix, Sorry about your Kitty.
Damn, woman, you're on a roll. I'm glad you're my friend!
I've gotta love anyone who uses the word "Assmonkey".
Mojo to your kittycat.
Sigh, thanks. He's just getting old and really hating the heat. He's not eating like I believe he should.
Most cats eat very little or nothing during heatwaves. This is perfectly normal.
One tip: don't leave food lying around if he hasn't eaten it. The smell of food triggers the digestive process, and if they smell food all day then their systems never get a break from digesting, meaning that they never get a chance to properly eliminate wastes from the body and heal, resulting in problems such as decreased appetite, increased production of sebum (oily hair on their back), and even urinary problems.
But again, as I've said, if it's really hot, don't worry about it. Cats in the wild fast voluntarily for days at a time, and it's good for them. When he really needs the food, he'll eat.
I love your use of the word AssMonkey almost as much as I loved your use of AssClown for the losers who were stealing your bandwidth.
You definitely have a way with words.
Hope the kitty is feeling better.
What kind of kitty do you have, btw?
Oh lordy, that's funny, Ty.
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