March 15, 2005
having a time, glad you're not here

Hey kids.

As much as I'd like you to believe that this break was so I could run off to Aruba and spend my nights drinking tequilia out of V.'s navel, that's not the case.

I'm not back yet, but I want to tell you what's going on, and also tell you why I'm telling you.

Anyone that knows how much I hate the dentist can pretty much extrapolate that that feeling extends, and even doubles for doctors. It's true. But after some consideration and inspiration/motivation from a friend I admire very much, I decided to make a long overdue appointment at the gyno for a checkup last December. Long story short, after an abnormal pap smear result and a series of really icky tests, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer at the end of January. The course of treatment was a radical hysterectomy. Yeah, the word 'radical' is completely ruined for me now, dammit. On the other hand, I now have my very own belly scar.

So, two weeks ago, I was checked into Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla for surgery. I was completely terrified. I haven't spent the night in the hospital since I was born. The surgery went well, I'm now a uterus, cervix, appendix and a couple of lymph nodes lighter. The recovery was (is) the worst. I wasn't allowed to eat or drink for days, but they made me get up and walk as soon as I could. Oh god, that sucked. More pain than I've ever imagined, but they assured me it was for my own good, of course. Anyway, I spent 5 days in the hospital and had a horrible time except for the very lovely pain drugs. V. was there with me nearly the whole time, sleeping in a chair beside me instead of leaving at night. I really couldn't ask for anyone better to watch over me. I'm very lucky. And very in love.

I've now spent a week at my sister's place, still recovering. I can eat regular food now, and I can walk around the house. The pain gets better every day as I get stronger. The biggest drag is the fact that I have to have a catheter for two weeks, so I get to accessorize my recovery outfit with a charming bag of my own urine. Fun, no?

I'll be in California a little longer for follow-up and then I'll be going home as soon as they say it's okay for me to make the drive.

Alright, enough of me whining.

I'm telling this here because I want the women who read this site to know that everything I've been through could have been avoided if I'd taken better care of myself, and gone to the doctor regularly. I want you to know that if you haven't had a check-up and a pap smear in a couple years that I'm begging you to make that appointment today. Please.

I'm trying to have a sense of humor about it all, but believe me, this whole thing has completely sucked.

And I really don't want anyone else ever to have to go through this.

Please take care of yourselves. Make that appointment.

I'm going back to the couch to watch the cable teevee and moan until V. brings me ice cream.

I'd much rather be doing something else.

off topic | from inside the mind of krix at March 15, 2005 09:32 AM .