Because you asked for it - and because even with all the changes the year has brought me, I still enjoy making a fool of myself over the internet - I give you.....
Mp3: The 12 days of Ke-ristmas
~On the first day of Christmas~
my true love gave to me:
A Christmas Song about Keanu Reeves
my true love gave to me:
2 Scuffed-up Boots
and a Christmas Song about Keanu Reeves
~On the third day of Christmas~
my true love gave to me:
3 Bass Riffs
2 Scuffed-up Boots
and a Christmas Song about Keanu Reeves
~On the fourth day of Christmas~
my true love gave to me:
4 Bullets Dodged
3 Bass Riffs
2 Scuffed-up Boots
and a Christmas Song about Keanu Reeves
~On the fifth day of Christmas~
my true love gave to me:
There Is No Spooooon!
4 Bullets Dodged
3 Bass Riffs
2 Scuffed-up Boots
and a Christmas Song about Keanu Reeves
~On the sixth day of Christmas~
my true love gave to me:
6 Teds a-Grinning
There Is No Spooooon!
4 Bullets Dodged
3 Bass Riffs
2 Scuffed-up Boots
and a Christmas Song about Keanu Reeves
~On the seventh day of Christmas~
my true love gave to me:
7 Shanes a-Scoring
6 Teds a-Grinning
There Is No Spooooon!
4 Bullets Dodged
3 Bass Riffs
2 Scuffed-up Boots
and a Christmas Song about Keanu Reeves
~On the eighth day of Christmas~
my true love gave to me:
8 Jacks a-Running
7 Shanes a-Scoring
6 Teds a-Grinning
There Is No Spooooon!
4 Bullets Dodged
3 Bass Riffs
2 Scuffed-up Boots
and a Christmas Song about Keanu Reeves
~On the ninth day of Christmas~
my true love gave to me:
9 Conors Coaching
8 Jacks a-Running
7 Shanes a-Scoring
6 Teds a-Grinning
There Is No Spooooon!
4 Bullets Dodged
3 Bass Riffs
2 Scuffed-up Boots
and a Christmas Song about Keanu Reeves
~On the tenth day of Christmas~
my true love gave to me:
10 Scottys Hustling
9 Conors Coaching
8 Jacks a-Running
7 Shanes a-Scoring
6 Teds a-Grinning
There Is No Spooooon!
4 Bullets Dodged
3 Bass Riffs
2 Scuffed-up Boots
and a Christmas Song about Keanu Reeves
~On the eleventh day of Christmas~
my true love gave to me:
11 Johnnys Surfing
10 Scottys Hustling
9 Conors Coaching
8 Jacks a-Running
7 Shanes a-Scoring
6 Teds a-Grinning
There Is No Spooooon!
4 Bullets Dodged
3 Bass Riffs
2 Scuffed-up Boots
and a Christmas Song about Keanu Reeves
~On the twelfth day of Christmas~
my true love gave to me:
12 Nelsons Singing
11 Johnnys Surfing
10 Scottys Hustling
9 Conors Coaching
8 Jacks a-Running
7 Shanes a-Scoring
6 Teds a-Grinning
There Is No Spooooon!
4 Bullets Dodged
3 Bass Riffs
2 Scuffed-up Boots
and a Christmas Song about Keanu Reeeeeeeves!!
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): To convey the dirt simple oracle you need to hear, I'm going to steal a line from the poet William Kulik: "You can't get it because you've already got it." In other words, Virgo, your only hope for enjoying the lovely experience you're wistfully fantasizing about is to register the fact that the lovely experience is available to you right now. It's already yours for the taking.
